Limit: Is there a limit on how many time I... - AF Association

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Limit

kalgs profile image

Is there a limit on how many time I can post . The inappropriate comments I’m getting from one individual is encouraging me to close my account.I have admin will take some responsibility and prevent this from happening to others

53 Replies

Do carry on posting kalgs. Some worry more than others and it can be a very lonely time without support and answers to questions which are plaguing you even though they may seem trivial to others.

Best wishes

J

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to Jalia

Thanks very much . I’m very inquisitive and one question and answer can prompt another .

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to Jalia

If others are irritated by posts I can’t understand why they remain on the forum ? Why upset people on a forum that’s here for support ?

I know that the person concerned means well even if it did not come across to you in that way, no doubt that person will see your post and will no longer respond. In any event if you have any poster who you do not get on with then PM them and politely ask them [not] to respond to your posts and you will do likewise. There is one particular poster on here that I never respond to and likewise - it works well. Incidentally not the poster that you are referring to. In all honesty you do not need Admin to sort anything out, unless despite your request, it is ignored.

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to john6

I’ve asked him to cease and he’s carried on .

john6 profile image
john6 in reply to kalgs

I'm sure a PM will do the trick.

CDreamer profile image
CDreamer in reply to kalgs

Had a similar experience but I think you are able to block them from replying.

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to CDreamer

Ok thanks

Singwell profile image
Singwell in reply to CDreamer

I don't think we can block as yet. I have asked in relation to a different thread. Such a shame!

I hope you've used the 'report' button so that this is flagged up to Admin kalgs. I'm sure Admin will look into it if it's reported officially. Don't allow any inappropriate actions of others to drive you away from HU.

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to Callendersgal

Many thanks

BobD profile image
BobDVolunteer

I had a really bad night so late to the party over this Kalgs. Having studied the correspondence I do know that FJ did not intend to be insulting. His post was the sort of thing one would send to a friend in need as a humorous message but yes innapropriate to an unknown and obviously anxious person and I know that he is mortified that you took offence.

I do hope that you will see fit to forgive, move on and continue to seek help and re-assurance that everything is normal and on track with your recovery.

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to BobD

Bob thanks for your response. I would be happy if the post and any reference to me was removed.

francesturpin profile image
francesturpin in reply to kalgs

I love how people try to justify inappropriate posts.Think before you post.

I hope you continue on this forum.

All the best to you.

Yes, there are a few unsupportive individuals on here but lots of nice ones too. I've made a couple of Afib buddies and we PM each other. Each of us have independently said we now no longer post, or modify our questions, to avoid the sort of unsupportive answer to which you refer. It's a real shame as it is supposed to be a support group.

Good luck with your recovery, all this unpleasantness does not help, and stay inquisitive, it's what makes us intelligent humans (well, some of us...😂

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to Jajarunner

Thanks so much

I have remarked upon this privately about that completely inappropriate behaviour from that individual.

There is absolutely no limit to how many posts you can make and no such thing as a silly question.

You carry on, it is that individual who should not be posting in my opinion.

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to CDreamer

Thanks for your support it’s appreciated

Part of the problem of forums are that writing sometimes fails to get the [tone] across in the manner that it is meant. I have been guilty of that one on a few occasions - it is easily done. As they say "Communication" is an art, as such if it were a "Degree" then I would have to go back for another year or three lol.

jeanjeannie50 profile image
jeanjeannie50 in reply to john6

You've made me laugh John, love your comment!

So true what you say about emails not reflecting the tone in which posts or replies are made. When I send texts I put an X at the end of them, which hopefully shows I've put what I have in a kind and friendly way.

john6 profile image
john6 in reply to jeanjeannie50

Like this x? The guys can go and run on that one lol.

I once unintentionally offended someone on the forum who was a bit of a drama queen and she and all her supporters took umbrage and attacked me viciously in spite of apology. So I learned to try to be careful about tone, xxx, and to recognise who not to respond to even if 🤯 (usually) 💜

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to Buffafly

Wouldn’t class myself as a drama queen. I just dislike bad manners. On forums like this it’s completely unnecessary. So that was my point. I have a very good sense of humour.

francesturpin profile image
francesturpin in reply to kalgs

Stop explaining yourself. You are right!! If you are uncomfortable with a responding post then you have the right to block their posts.I love how some people try to explain his posts and how they were taken out of context...give me a break. Think before you post!

Very disappointed with people justifying inappropriate posts.

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to francesturpin

Here we go again

Jalia profile image
Jalia in reply to Buffafly

I don't remember this Buffafly ??! 🤔🤔

Buffafly profile image
Buffafly in reply to Jalia

It was a long time ago but seared on my memory. It is amazing how horrible ‘kind’ people can be when they feel they are supporting someone who has been wronged. The same thing happened on the asthma forum when I made what was intended to be a helpful and reassuring remark to someone who wanted to be vindicated in their complaint instead - my mistake 🙄 It is upsetting when someone reads your ‘helpful’ remark the wrong way especially when your grovelling apology is taken as further provocation 😞 I guess it is difficult to back down once someone has gone into ‘mortally offended’ mode……..

Jalia profile image
Jalia in reply to Buffafly

I get it ! Very difficult when posts escalate in this manner, not to say upsetting when your well meaning remarks are misinterpreted.

Jajarunner profile image
Jajarunner in reply to Buffafly

Calling someone is a drama queen is quite rude as you do not know there circumstances or mental state. I'm famously stoic, so I'm told, but was sobbing my heart out in hospital last Thursday. So I guess I was a drama queen too on that occasion.Can't we all just be civil?

Buffafly profile image
Buffafly in reply to Jajarunner

No, you were behaving in a normal emotional way to a very upsetting situation. You did not post pages of dramatic descriptions of your suffering whipping up sympathy and support and making ‘best friends’ with people you don’t know in real life and don’t care about except as an audience.

The post I responded to is no longer there ?

Done thanks

I think you have raised an important point Klags. Its up to us as individuals to ensure are replies are polite, supportive and carefully phrased. I am a member of other forums on HU and there those admin people do not tolerate inappropriate comments. Its not right that someone is commented on as a "drama queen" - how judgemental is that????? and tbh that comment filled me with horror. We ALL need the support of our fellow sufferers and frankly there is no place for derogative comments whether made with so called "humour" or as a joke or not. It should be squashed straight away..... Remember we all worry about different things & what might seem trivial to one is major to another. What is needed is reassurance, information and support. Not the use of casual or judgemental language no matter how unintended.

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to waveylines

Thanks for you for the message .

Buffafly profile image
Buffafly in reply to waveylines

You are obviously very eloquent and sensitive but many people on forums are not and I do not believe there should be a witch hunt when someone has unintentionally used language that offends, expressed themselves in a way felt inappropriate by the original poster or misunderstood the intention or mind set of the OP. It is only recently that Kalgs has explained that his numerous questions were an expression of insatiable curiosity and not extreme anxiety as assumed by all the kind people who posted numerous informative and reassuring replies.

I assumed that many people would not understand the term ‘Histrionic Personality Disorder’ and btw that was not intended as a description of Kalgs’ behaviour.

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to Buffafly

You know it would’ve made no difference whether it was anxiety or an inquisitive mind. It’s not about a witchhunt it’s about people standing up and saying they won’t except bad manners, rudeness and downright aggressive communication. Now I say that not in respect of the messages I received but life in general. If you look at the world right now there are many people standing up against unacceptable behaviour. It’s no more acceptable on social media then it would be face-to-face.. Your description of personality traits it’s a relevant

waveylines profile image
waveylines in reply to Buffafly

I dont understand your response tbh Buttafly.... The only person who has mentioned a witch hunt is yourself. What witch hunt?

By the way you could have asked Klag about so many posts.....but frankly some of us myself included seek information and experience from those in the know when dealing with a new condition...I see it a lot in other forums. Nothing unusual

We are all different. Doctors have no time to explain much. Please explain what has Histrionic Personality Disorders have to do this post? I'm a lay person and know nothing of psychiatric terminology or the diagnosis of this condition or the relevance to this post? Prefer to leave such terminology to the professionals. Cant someone be understandably feeling anxious....Afib can be very scary!!!We all make mistakes, myself included...frankly have done so sadly many times. Its inevitable unfortunately but its what we as individuals do about it that counts. What I felt (&maybe I'm wrong) was that what Klag needs is sympathy, understanding and support....as he finds his way through this new foreign world.

If this makes me 'sensitive'....I will take that as a compliment as I hope I am. Many Thanks!

Buffafly profile image
Buffafly in reply to waveylines

It’s Kalgs (kalgs). He says he is not anxious but inquisitive so you should respect how he wishes to be seen.

I was speaking generally about situations on the forum when someone has upset someone else and the situation has escalated through people taking sides. I gave a personal example.

And of course it was a compliment.

I was worried about you and responded. Anyone could pick up your anxiety in your post and what you really needed was reassurance. I know I would have been very upset at that particular post to you…and you really could have done without that at this time. It was meant kindly I think but it was badly misjudged xx

I think we should all remember that anxiety comes with the territory of A/F and certainly things which should not affect me adversely can do so. Very often when I come on here I do so for reassurance and for me this site is like an informative comfort blanket. Thanks everyone.

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to GrannyE

Agree

Chrissy7 profile image
Chrissy7 in reply to kalgs

… I’ll third that!! 👍

Hi Kalgs

One of the problems with text is it doesn’t have emotions so we don’t know which context the reply has been sent in

I didn’t se the post so if it was wrong or right Hope you can move on going forward

But totally agree manners cost nothing and good manners should be adhered to were ever possible

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to Andy-f

I’ve moved on . Other members have been debating the subject. It’s fairly clear when a message is unacceptable in my opinion

TracyAdmin profile image
TracyAdminAdministrator

Thank you to everyone for your comments. The Forum is here to provide supportive advice and helpful information in a polite and friendly manner. Any offensive messages and unpleasant responses will be deleted by the Admin team. We would like to think that the Forum is of benefit to all members, but again, please do consider your response before posting.

I have recently had a run in with the same individual. After I had pointed out to him that he had not bothered to scroll down and read my response to the author of the thread concerned before jumping in with a criticism , he private messaged me . He deliberately misinterpreted my post so as to send a sarcastic jibe. I was inclined to let this go but was encouraged by my husband to call him out on this, and supported by another member of the forum who said they too had had problems with this individual sending them nasty private messages. They also knew of others who had had similar problems with the individual in question. When I called him out I said he was cowardly and sneaky as he did not dare to publish his sarcastic jibe publicly. He then pm'd me asking that I delete the post!

I am sorry to read this. I've been known to post daily and sometimes more often. So - no - it is easy to scroll on by isn't it if one doesn't want to read posts?

I believe most of us have kind hearts and a empathy with each other, if we cant be nice to each other then we should be silent. What we all need is the love and support of one another, life is very hard when your dealing with lots of health issues and we are all different but it doesnt cost anything to be kind and compassionate towards each other. I ignore rudeness and ignorance there is no place for it in a community who are living with extreme health issues and anxieties. To all who care Take care and lots of love. Xx

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to angel343

Such lovely and caring words

Take care Kalgs and remember there are a lot of good people and then there are people who get some kind of pleasure out of hurting others. Just blank it don't give it any recognition love wins in the end. Hope things improve for you. Xx

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to angel343

Sound kind words thank you .

I'm very glad you posted about this issue because sometimes I feel like I'm asking too many questions. You really made me feel better about things. How could I have been so silly to think that I was asking too many questions when there are so many lovely people on this forum who care - and care enough to respond!I find this one of the best - if not THE best - forums I've ever participated on, I learned so much about things from everyone that I lost my original fears about my heart condition.

Thanks, Kalgs! I hope you keep on posting as much as you'd like. Remember, there are most likely lots of people who may not reply are learning a lot from your questions and comments!!

kalgs profile image
kalgs in reply to DesertDeuces

Thanks. What’s the point of a forum if it’s not used .

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