Bad thoughts.

[stoneyrosed]

Hi, Had a afib free week last week but yesterday and today it has come back. I feel so low and i mean really low because of it. I am in contact with a cardiolgist nurse who at the moment advises me against an ablation i think because of covid. I just hate this feeling nearly every morning of the fast heartrate. I go to work to try take my mind of it because staying at home is awful but been at work is so bad too. Not sure how long my mental health can put up with this. Anyone else feel like giving in?

[Paulbounce]

I understand how you feel. It's a real downer when it kicks back in.

However you had an afib free week last week - that's really good news. It shows treatments may well work for you - it also means it may pass again and you have another afib free week soon.

You feel the effects more when you have been in sinus for a while - your body will start to adjust and you don't notice it so much.

I assume you have discussed med's and a PIP with your cardiolgist nurse ? Flec works wonders for me - maybe you are already on it.

It's easy to say don't feel down about it (I know I do) but things will improve one way or the other. For me I find mentally I'm on a downer for about a week - again though your brain adjusts and the panic passes.

Good luck - I'm sure things will pick up for you soon.

Paul

[jeanjeannie50]

I've had what I call 'poor me' moments and to get myself out of it I think of all the people with far worse things. I guess people with cancer, Parkinsons, motor neurone disease or immobilised by strokes etc would willingly change ailments with us. Have you got all your limbs, can you see? AF can be annoying at times, but if I had to choose I'd have that rather than some of the other conditions.

Do you have a physical job? I would never have been able to continue with mine if it hadn't been desk based, another thing for me to be grateful for.

I know how you feel, but trust me after 15 years of diagnosed AF I know your feeling of despair will pass.

Jean x

[stoneyrosed in reply to jeanjeannie50]

My job entails driving Jean, my afib has no rhyme or reason, i can be sat at peace and it will just start. I keep thinking o am going to die soon which is making me so depressed when the afib starts. Thanks for your kind words they are so nice x

[jeanjeannie50 in reply to stoneyrosed]

I used to think I would surely die when my heart was jumping around in my chest in the middle of the night. Would wonder when they would find my body. Have had AF 15 years and I'm still here and don't get those bad attacks now. You will feel better at some stage and look back one day too.

You have given me a clue as to what could be causing your AF, you say you are sat peacefully when they start, but are you forgetting to breathe deeply enough. Could that be what is setting your heart off protesting?

Here for you.

Jean

[pottypete1]

Don’t let it get to you I know from personal experience that AF plays mind game which are so difficult to deal with when you are in that situation.

I would keep communicating with the AF nurse if you can particularly if the AF does not abate in the near future.

The best advice I can give you is to understand that it will come to pass and either it will resolve itself naturally or you will find a way to persuade your doctor to do something for you.

You do not and should not have to suffer it if it’s giving you such bad feelings. My EP has said to me that a great proportion of the medical profession really do not understand how AF plays on the mind.

Hopefully you will get others who will give you some moral support to help you through this but don’t give up.

Pete

[TamlaMotown]

Hi stoneyrosed, I had my second visit from the beast last Saturday night/Sunday morning after being free of it since diagnosis in April 2018 so that was 2yrs & 3mths!

I get how you are feeling because I am gutted myself & feeling down.

As pottypete says AF is very good at playing mind games but I hope it helps to know others are feeling the same.

Take care

[stoneyrosed]

Thanks for all replies, it genuinely brings tears to my eyes when people can take their time out if their lives and reply. I used to love walking running and cycling but lately any of those exercises can trigger AF, it has really got me down lately. Thank you all for your replies it means so much 😊

[sotolol in reply to stoneyrosed]

Hi stonerosed I totally get you. It’s brings you down with a bang and a thump. I have had it over 12 years and many sad depressing things have happened in my life. It’s you that is going through this right now so you have to feel it and live it.

Maybe a chat with a a qualified person to talk about antidepressants. I know some people can and can’t take them for all reasons. It’s not a cop out. Just a little help to remove the sharp corners of how you feel. Your mental health is as important as your heart health so consider a chat to someone about it. I take them they really help and I’m on a low dose.

I hope your heart settles soon and you can have a good week/ month/ even longer.

Take care bless you.

[stoneyrosed]

Thank you sotolol i think it is something i may have to think about, I keep reading how progressive afib is and i dont look forward to my future at all and feel as if i am in for a battle for the rest of my life. What is a life with a bleak future, i hate going to bed and sometimes wish i dont wake up. No one can see how i feel i am good at hiding the inner turmoil. Afib is not like a leg break no one can see what we have to go through.

[sotolol in reply to stoneyrosed]

Yes me too. I was scared to go to bed incase I was woken up and needed a visit to A and E. The more I waited for it to go the worse it got. Stressing made it worse. It’s a vicious circle.

Antidepressants have helped me and I’m on 10mg of Bisoprolol which I take at night. I’ve never slept so well. Weird but I’ve got to a point where I’ll try anything. So far so good.

Just waiting for it to happen again. 😩.

I have to slap myself around the face and tell my self positive things .... hard ... and get a grip.

Think about getting extra help. You shouldn’t be feeling so low. It’s a shame you shouldn’t have to suffer this much.

Thinking of you.

When I get an episode I do sudoku puzzles just to think about something else. Trouble is your brain is very powerful at being negative.

Let us know how you get on. Don’t feel alone. Ok 👌🏻

[stoneyrosed in reply to sotolol]

Thanks so much, i couldnt even tolerate 3.5 mg of bisprolol it gave me low blood pressure on a morning i could hardly get out of bed, i am back on 2.5. Sometimes i can tolerate it and even tell it to go away and incredibly it does but the really aggresive ones are impossible to control. Thanks so much for your comments and i will let you know how i go on, good luck to you.

[Hidden]

I have felt like that at times but it will pass. I hate the saying "unprecedented times" but that's where we are. It will pass eventually and you will get a shot at an ablation. I had one 3.5 years ago and it turned my life around.

I've come through the dark times.

Hang in there, it will get better

[Clyde12]

6 yrs ago I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer. I never thought I would ever feel so dreadfully low. A couple of yrs ago I was diagnosed with AFib and felt even worse than 6 yrs ago......I think this was because they couldn’t operate and cut it out. The Afib and the cancer are now under control and I hardly give either a thought though I know they could both return at some stage. Afib returning doesn’t bother me cos this forum have been so helpful and as Bob says knowledge is power! Having also had severe depression (over 20 yrs ago) I agree with solotol ....some anti depressants might just smooth the sharp edges of how you are feeling and allow you to heal.

I wish you all the very best.....

[stoneyrosed in reply to Clyde12]

Thank you clyde, im so glad your so much better. Will take your comments on board. I get the feeling and going by what most people say is that i will never get better with afib and i think thatis what gets me so low, and the symptoms of course. Stay well Clyde x

[Bambi65]

Been there, had that! My Afib monster use to visits me 3-4x a week lasting 3-30 hours each time. I tried some alternative treatments (non chemical, non surgical) and I went 8 full days without even so much as a twinge, and thats without changing any of my busy activities, swimming, bike, building etc. Then, on the night of my 8th day, I was attacked by my Afib monster.. HR 190+ and I felt like such a failure.

I was so sure that I had beaten it. Well, That was last year. I still dont take any meds, or surgical routes, and still searching for that "cure" which I know there isnt any but I am an optimist.

I went down to 2-3x a week back in March each lasting 10 minutes to 2 hours ONLY.!!! What a great feeling that was. Then June came and I got 16 consecutive days of no AFIB! Thats SIXTEEN straight days. I was overjoyed. When the monster returned this time, I was determined to keep my head up and wallow in the fact that I had 16 consecutive days, it could happen again. I didnt loose, and I wasnt a failure.

Ive never allowed my AFib monster to control my life over the last 4 years . I have always kept doing what I wanted to do. Before this blasted Virus, I travel all over the world without worry of the "what if's". This Afib monster will not hold me hostage. We do things together, we dont fight, or argue, we just accept that we share this body, but I control the head.

I keep a record of any day I have Afib, in my appt book, and have done this for years. I can see how long its been, and on those Afib days, I have to keep physically busy. Walking helps, and talking with neighbors really keeps me focused on outside of my heart rate. Hang in there. Remember, Afib will not kill you, but it will take you prisoner if you let it. Better days are always ahead.

[stoneyrosed in reply to Bambi65]

Thanks a nice positive post, it is only recently when i have been for a bike ride or a walk that a few hrs later the AF strikes with a vengeance, these are things i really enjoy doing and to be not able to do them because of the AF is really getting me down, thanks so much for your comment .

[Janith]

It is a scary condition ... but my inner voice is telling me that you aren’t on the correct meds. You must find a very good cardiologist and correct your medications. In addition to whatever meds you are on ... it is very important to take magnesium taurate. It seems to regulate the heart and the mind/mood. It stops the negativity. Try to concentrate on things that bring happiness! However, the first thing on your agenda should be correcting your meds and going to your emergency room for intravenous meds to correct your sinus rhythm. I wish you robust health and happiness!

[Bambi65 in reply to Janith]

meds are not always a solution!

[Janith in reply to Bambi65]

Unfortunately, they are a necessary evil. I learned that the hard way.

[Bambi65 in reply to Janith]

They are, can be, necessary for some people. But not all. I am one of those without medications for over 4 years now.

[Janith in reply to Bambi65]

What is your formula?

[Bambi65 in reply to Janith]

I eat small meals, as a large meal "may" set off my monster.

I drink nearly a gallon of water each day. Sometime more since we live in Hell. (Hot Florida)

I keep track of when the beast shows up, (kardia) and record it in my appt. book.

As to my "formula" well.....The biggest thing is I dont allow Afib to control me or hold me back from doing the things I want or need to do. We (my monster and me) live in the same body, but I control the head.

[Janith in reply to Bambi65]

That’s the key ... but l agree small meals and lots of water ... l asked my cardiologist if l could go off of meds ... he didn’t think that it was a good idea ... l rarely have episodes tho. Thanks and keep up the good work.

[stoneyrosed]

Thanks janith, the cardio recommended a flecanaide to go with the betablocker i take but a doctor once told me flecanaide is a complicated drug to take and he wasn't happy prescribing me it, he was a locum doctor by the way. I sometime take magnesium glycinate but i seem to have a few good days followed by a few bad days, and lately it has been a struggle on a morning. thanks so much for your comments they mean a lot .

[Bambi65 in reply to stoneyrosed]

Ive sent you a private message

[Janith]

My cardiologist refused to allow me to take flecanaide ... l suggested that med to him and he said NO. Magnesium Taurate is the one! Look up Dr. Sinatra’s protocol for afib. Much good fortune! Our goal is to stay in NSR as much as possible ... if not forever ... so the correct ‘cocktail’ along with natural supplements seems to work for me.