I assumed I would live to age 80 but as a denovo low volume advanced prostate cancer fellow at age 64 that is unlikely. Very unlikely, but given the diagnosis of 64 my revised hope is to live to age 70 +
The majority of us want more years but quality over quantity must be the objective now do you think?
With PCa you should try get get as much info as possible to make your best informed decisions. This also comes with a sobering realization of your probable life expectancy. It’s hard not to think about it. Contrast that with someone who is oblivious to their health and die with a sudden heart attack. They won’t have given any thought to their mortality and it’s over quickly. In some respects they probably had a worry free happy life.
So yes, you have to carry this weight across your shoulders. But just because some statistic gives you a life expectancy doesn’t mean you will fall in the 1st standard deviation.
What I do know for certain though is:
-> everyone is different and unique.
-> people are surviving longer than a standard deviation.
-> worrying about anything or being depressed about it will not help.
-> the years you have left should not be wasted on things that you can’t control or that don’t matter.
IMO, the QOL is EXTREMELY important. I would prefer to have 5 good years with a great QOL where you can appreciate that time, than someone who is suffering badly for 20.
Ask yourself this: if I give you the following option:
1. To be in a situation where you’ve lived a life but have say 5 years to live.
2. Be a young 18 year old kid first in line and about to jump over the trenches in WWI - where the probability of dying is 99%.
They didn’t even get the opportunity to live any of their adult life.
It is my belief, given the option, those kids would swap with you in an instant.
Make the most of your time instead of looking over your shoulder.
Just my opinion.
I like your headline a lot! I was diagnosed at age 63. My plan when I was younger, was to reach 103. After DXed I thought I need to revise this. But then I decided to stick to my original goal. Life is a summary of billions of individual moments. When you focus on the moment, it’s not important how many you already experienced and how many more are still to come.
59 years old, diagnosed 6 1/2 years ago and except for the cancer healthy as a horse. Stopped worrying about how long I am going to live and started traveling. I also make a point to have lunch a couple times a week with friends and never say no to any kind of invitation. Go go go. Living my best life
QOL always! I was diagnosed at age 60 & here I am 74 nearly. So we are lucky enough to be able to live with this disease these days. 80 around the corner!!
If I can do it anybody can.
For me, hitting BCR gave me the gift, yes truly a gift, to recognize that death was inevitable, but the when was another matter. The inverse of our normal human condition to defer that thought to tomorrow.
Recognizing certain mortality allows one to value every day as a gift, whether you live for 2 or 15+ years.
Personally, I made a clear, written call that quality beats quantity. I was also fortunate to be in a position to commit to 2+ hours/day of exercise.
Now seven years on, and at 69 I am like mrscruffy, seriously fit despite ADT. An hour of Pilates reformer every morning with maybe 100 minutes of MTB as well. I hike the high alpine, mountain bike and heliski. Currently for my body the limits seem to be the normal health issues such as arthritis.
Go for it!
thank you for your inspiring message and the positivity therein
What is BCR ?
Thanks
Awesome!!! I thought I was active and enjoying life, but you just raised the bar.
Quality over quantity is the objective no question, but the better the quality is the more quantity I lust for. It’s not a game I can win.
That’s why gratitude and acceptance have taken over for me. If either are missing I tend to go to a dark place-specifically the future, which doesn’t exist😀
Hi Farn:
My Joe was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer in 2009.
It metastasized in 2017, so he had six doses of chemo. Was on Lupron and added zytiga when PSA crept up in 2020. Crept up again this year, so he’s had 6 of 10 doses of chemo. He has a tennis lesson once a week; he built a kayak rack and a fishing dock this past summer. We completed a 5K together in August.
Even with his recent hospitalization for double pneumonia last month, he’s still alive and kickin’!!!
You have a lot to look forward to. I hope you do lots of research, have a strong advocate and fight your best fight till you’ve had enough. And then, as the saying goes, slide into home plate after wearing out rather than giving up.
And DO stay on this site, as it’s filled with wise warriors….and those that love them. ❤️
Yes....quality over over quantity of time...God is always in control...
It is presumptuous to assume you'll get tomorrow! Post cancer diagnosis, is a poignant reminder of just how frail as a species we actually are. But we are thinkers... and there in lay the problem! Does a Gazelle wonder about the Lion coming tomorrow? Does the Sparrow wonder about tomorrow's nectar? Or do they just LIVE!?!?
Cancer (diagnosis) has brought to the forefront, a reminder that "Time" is the most misunderstood, and misused element of our existence. The old saying "Time is Wasted on the Youth" only resonates true as the time clock is running out of hours... I've learned, and try to accept that we don't know what we think we do. Especially when trying to think how much "Time" we have. 😂
My rule upon StageIV diagnosis has been trying to figure out how to compress 20 years (of life) into 10! But that's a huge assumption that I'll be graced with those. After all, there's always those plane engines falling from the sky randomly landing on people's heads 😂😂😂
So... I also remind myself every day, of an old Samurai Maxim...
Ichi Go Ichi
Meaning, Each Moment Once!
Best Regards
Cooolone wrote --- " ... Especially when trying to think how much "Time" we have ... "
At 50 I looked into the morning mirror thinking -- *You've lived 50 years and likely have less than 50 years left to live and also will likely be told you have cancer during those remaining years*
It was at that time I began TO LIVE my life as full as possible by accepting my future demise and to never dwell on my death.
15 years later when told I had cancer via a phone call there was no Why Me, there was no Poor Me, there was no I'm gonna die!!! just a greater impetus to LIVE TILL IT HURTS
Was it Confucius (?) who said "We begin to live the second of our two lives, when we realize we have but one"
😂😂😂👍
I've always loved the ocean. The scope, the continued cycle of the waves, and the seeming infinity of sand granules remind me of how small and insignificant I am in the scope of time (this was all here waaaay before me and will be here long afterwards), and in size. That realization then helps me to put my problems into perspective, freeing me to take pleasure and joy from the beauty of the life I have, today.
What you focus on expands……….Think of living until 80 as you assumed prior to your diagnosis. Treat your cancer properly to slow its growth and live your life to its fullest. Everyone is different and so is their disease. Don’t take doctors prognosis as the end all be all. Many have lived much longer and you can as well.
thank you for your tesponse
you just can never know when this monster will come and take you. My first diagnosis and offer of care …. from a table full of doctors , was immediate entry into hospice. I’d never even had a single try at treatment. They thought I had a few weeks at best. I was DXed very late … paved with mets head to toe, my vitals crumbling … some of those mets pretty big’ins. Wracked with bone pain. Every joint in my body attacked.
I opted for ADT first , instead of the URN …. and here it is 48 months later ( this month ) and I’m still churning along pretty well, considering. I feel like I might still have a year or two left in the tank too.
Keeping a positive attitude is very beneficial …. helping with that is going out for some life enriching , attention diverting , QOL with loved ones. For sure having a positive attitude and a little uplifting fun in life can’t hurt. This can be gloomy stuff, wringing your hands with worry and sadness is not a good thing.
Just IMHO … my two cents worth brother. The great posts above me say a lot.
❤️❤️❤️
Hey Farn! I’m 61 with 7 yrs into this mad hatters project . My specialist told me at 53 “ you’ll never see 80” ! I thought , well ok,that’s a long way off . A year later I went clear and the same dr told me “ you’ve got 30 yrs”! So? Which is it? Nobody knows .. I was in sad shape initially with pc . Only my wife thought I’d make it .. I’m lucky to be here today in any form . I’m just a passenger on this ship now . Life and death are up to the big guy or girl upstairs . Thank God !, for each day ! 🙏
Glad that you are here and still moving forward. Salute!
In slo-Mo brother .😎✌️
starwars.com/video/never-te...
MDs should never give a life expectancy to patients. No one really knows, too many variables that will affect outcome eg fitness level, physiology, attitude, constitution, determination,
Agreeed! 🍀
The title of your post is well said. It is about the moment we are in now and always has been for everyone, healthy or not. We focus so much on future promotions, vacations, family, houses, cars and "having the good life", that we often miss our lives as we are living them.
Is that us in that photo? We were so young and had our first child......It can become a blur that we can recount events with photos, videos and stories. These are all great but living these in the moment, really living them, is for me what life is about. I have missed a lot over the years but I am not anymore.
Having more time is important but not at the expense of serious side effects that make the quality of life too hard to enjoy it.
Enjoy all that you can!
I just ask God for 80+ years of quality life and so far, He is keeping true to His promises. Go figure.
read my husbands profile diagnosed in 2008 with advanced PC still here and kicking at 80 not an easy road but have had periods of really good QOL especially while on Abiraterone for 6 years until toxic to the Liver
BAT question. A little worried about results. 
What life extending questions would you ask the top oncologist. If you were me. 
Discussion about Xofigo with my oncologist today
Diagnosed in May of 19, worry about BCR , what to do?
How many of you are Veterans who were diagnosed?
