My husband’s oncology nurse gave us some information leaflets about financial benefits for cancer patients. One mentioned life insurance that may include critical illness cover. We had not thought to look at our policy but it turned out that we did have critical illness cover. Although it didn’t cover prostate cancer per se, it did cover more advanced versions with certain grades etc., so is worth checking this out. As there were only three years left on the policy, there was a pay out of a small but useful sum. Better than nothing, had we not looked, (plus we saved the next three years of monthly payments!).
On receiving the payment we mused over what to do with it. Obviously it will help towards care costs and some comfortable adaptations to his lifestyle, but we thought that a treat might be good for him too. He grinned and declared the town’s local ’massage’ parlour was his plan, “but best get a year’s membership as it would take me that long!”.
Ha ha. How we laughed.
There are a lot of mentions on this forum about loss of desire and, I am afraid to admit, the loss of our once extremely fulfilling love live has left me grieving severely. I personally have found this aspect of this disease incredibly difficult to bear, and along with so many other parts of our lives we are struggling to find a new normal.
Whoever came up with the aptly named ‘Firmagon’ clearly had a sense of humour!
However, we do still both enjoy intimacy, and we have found taking time for simple touch to be very rewarding. I know without doubt and unequivocally that at these times I only want my husband’s touch. It turns out that when it comes to intimacy and desire, the largest organ is the heart.
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Sailing-Todd
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What a wonderful observation about love lives that speaks to me, and perhaps others, as partners in life with prostate cancer! What once was for us is now ~22 years past, but we still have romance and humor. Thanks for the memories.
Unfortunately, we did not buy life insurance besides what was provided at our jobs. However, the insurance information may be helpful to others.
You are so right. Intimacy and heart. Very nice observation.
In regard to life insurance - in the US some might be able to convert an existing term policy without health questions into a new one. It depends on age and the policy itself. Just an FYI.
Love can come in many forms and has it’s own language. So glad you found yours- and still have your sense of humor. And weren’t you smart to add this additional benefit to your LI policy. Sounds like you had an agent looking out for your best interests.
That was well said. I must say that you love your husband and he loves you as well. It always makes me see a better part of humanity with its attendant marriage at the most difficult part of the relationship. Please maintain the good order in spite the irritable difficulty. In deed the name "Firmagon" is darkly humorous, which one realizes only when one is on the drug.
Wishing you both the best!
Sanctus
Indeed. The true test of love is what remains as we age and care for each other "in sickness" and in health. Sticking around for the difficult times is love. Bailing out is easy and selfish.
Nicely put. After having been on Lupron for 6 years, I loose site of the fact that my desire for my wife is no longer in the forefront of my mind. We make due with date nights and prolonged hugs but we miss it and I sure that adds to our moodiness at times. Thanks for the two-pronged post. Very inciteful!
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