therapist question

[NotAChevy]

I've been with the same therapist for almost 2 years now. She listens to me, even when my rantings are nonsensical; she offers not only advice, but great tips to get me through whatever that weeks dilemma I find myself. So, shout out to ya, Debbie.

And that brings me to this weeks questions:

How did you find your current therapist? Did you have to try more than one before settling on your current one? What characteristics does s/he have that makes you stay with s/he? Have you ever recommended this person to someone else?

[Amiwrong]

I have 2 therapists currently. One was a referral through my doctor, so it’s free up to 25 sessions, and the other was a referral from a weight loss organization, which I pay for.

I have been to various therapists for many many years, and although they were great for bandaid therapy I call it, no one has left a great impact on my mental health.

I really like the therapists I have now. One is focusing on cptsd and the other mainly on relationships. I have referred someone.

I have accumulated therapy debt so it’s nice that I have a break on costs right now. That’s one reason to stay, but also, for one of them I am learning new things which is refreshing because for years it was the same stuff over and over. The other therapist I like because she helps me to dissect my relationship struggles. I’m heard, validated, and can be blunt and tell her if we’re not going in a direction I want to go. She also has adhd, so that helps.

Thank you for the question, it was interesting to answer

[Mamamichl]

I haven’t recommended Lisa to anyone else, though she is amazing. I am grateful that when I lost one insurance I could be on a grant so I could keep affording her. No one I know can use her since she is out of state.

I had a lot of bad experiences with therapists. Been through at least 6 over 10 years and none seemed to understand me. One even was appalled I did something impulsively that I was embarrassed about doing. Someone told me that I could google every medical provider in my network and see what they specialize in and their pedagogy. It took me 4 hours of researching each of them but I found one that worked with each of my conditions. I picked Lisa and learned quickly that she has ADHD too. She actually validated my feelings when I was being treated poorly because I wasn’t “listening to my supervisor”. She was the only one that understood that I do, but I can’t comprehend because it was in the hallway with students. She researched the accommodations I needed and what she thought the school would accept.

Though it didn’t keep me from losing a job, I learned a lot. That school was so volatile, that it had a 42% turnover rate last year. I started a job a couple weeks ago that is teaching online. They are all quirky like me and I think I found my forever job if things keep working like this.

[ImJester]

So when I found my first therapist, I just looked for someone who said they had experience with ADHD. Little did I know that 98% of therapists only have 3 hours of ADHD training...and that's if they have a PhD. There are only a small percentage that are really ADHD experts and I know now that it's very important to find ones that are. It's a world of difference. My first question to any therapist is, "What percentage of your patients have ADHD and what percentage are being treated for it?" That is a question they should be able to answer and if it's below 80%, then they aren't an expert. If they are above that 80%...even close to that, then I ask questions about ADHD symptoms. I ask them what are typical ADHD symptoms and how do I know when I'm experiencing them. That should be another easy question for an ADHD expert to answer. If they can't, then it's time to move on. My third and final question is to ask them for the name of the ADHD specialized psychiatrists they work with. You can't do ADHD therapy without ADHD medication and that psychiatrist has to be specialized or they will fail you every time.

Finding an ADHD therapist is not an easy task at all. I eventually just switched over to my ADHD Specialized Psychiatrist for therapy and I see him every week now. What a difference. My life has changed so much over the past 5 years and I feel that is worth every penny. So much so that now my children see him and his practice partners who are all experts in ADHD.

Good Luck to you on this journey because you've identified that your needs are greater than what your current therapist can provide and are seeking the right person to help you.

[NotAChevy in reply to ImJester]

Great questions to ask- thanks! I'm staying w/my current therapist, but am looking at getting certified as an ADHD Coach, so that helps me a lot.

[ImJester in reply to NotAChevy]

Something to think about in your journey. I'm going to fully disclose that I tend to be hard on ADHD coaches because I believe most of them are nothing but people who like to boss people around and know nothing about ADHD. When you think about the whole concept of coaching and ADHD, they just don't go together. We resist structure and the only way we can accept structure is by having our medications settled and once we have gone through our childhood trauma therapy. Even then, we will be resistant for awhile before we start "complying" so to speak. It is for that reason, I think the best route for those of us with ADHD is to be ADHD Advocates. It's kind of like an ADHD coach, but it's more about supporting those with ADHD and making sure they have access to all of the resources necessary for them to be successful on their lifetime journey. As someone with ADHD, you know that the only way for something to stick is for you to "learn it yourself." Even if someone has explained or told you many times, you have your own way to learn it and figure it out. That's where being an ADHD Advocate comes in.

There are tons of kids, parents and adults who need to know the resources available to them along with the tricks that have helped you. Explaining to these people how the ADHD brain is different(smaller) and how the signals flow from one area to another is fascinating to the ADHD brain. We can "hack" the brain once we know this type of thing. Yes, a coach can do this, but this is not the mantra of the ADHD Coach courses available. They are all about putting structure in place. We need to share and support because at the end of the day, their way will likely be different than our way and we can all learn from that.

Right now, without any formal training, I am an ADHD advocate for school children and their parents. No license needed. I show up to school meetings with them and give both the teacher and parents strategies to help the child figure out things that make them successful. The results are amazing and very rewarding. You end up with a happy ADHD child and all those around that child end up happy too. Good Luck. We need people like us with ADHD to help the upcoming generation.

[CloudsAreLovely]

My therapist or counselor actually has ADHD so he can relate rather well. He also believes that a lot of ADHD'ers take to this kind of work by passion to help others and come out quite successful at it. The downfall is hearing all the stories..... seems to get to him sometimes. I would definitely recommend him. And I would say go for it if that's what you want to do!!!!