Feeling “blah” in evenings

[AniSk]

I take 30mg cymbalta and 30mg Vyvanse each morning. I find that the Vyvanse works very well for focus and restlessness, but gives me most benefit for about a 4 hour period mid day. I usually have a cup of coffee mid day to extend this a bit but then find that in the evening I start to feel kind of “blah,” like a mild depression, usually starting with the transition from work back to home. And then I find it hard to really wind down and relax (without the aid of a glass of wine or two). Not sure if this is rebound from the meds, the meds wearing off, or just the overwhelm from shifting from work stuff to home responsibilities.

Anyone else feel this way and have strategies they’ve used successfully to get rid of this feeling??

[Addstilllives]

My doctor added an install release adderall to help me get through home responsibilities in the evening bc vyvanse would wear off about 4pm. This way I don’t have to feel blah until it’s bedtime. If you close your eyes and concentrate on relaxing you should be able to fall off to sleep.

[AniSk in reply to Addstilllives]

Yeah I was thinking of discussing that with my dr next time I go. I’m just concerned about being able to sleep if I take something later in the day but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try. Thanks!

[78rpm]

I have experienced the same thing in terms of a significant decline in energy - particularly mental and emotional energy - in the evenings. This was especially the case when I had a lengthy commute in heavy traffic. The commute alone drained me. But I have noticed that I still experience this even though I no longer have that commute.

I assumed that it had something to do with my ADHD. But here is what I found interesting: I have learned through authors who were writing to a NON ADHD audience that even neurotypical people experience the same thing.

In other words, the phenomenon is actually very common and, in many cases, perhaps even normal.

Based on what I have gleaned from various authors here is what seems to be driving it:

By the end of the day, one's willpower has been significantly drained, sometimes to the point approaching depletion. One's willpower is a finite resource that must be replenished in the same way that the amount of physical or mental energy that a person has can be exhausted and has to be replenished through rest and sleep.

One of the things that depletes willpower is the depletion of our mental and emotional energy - and that this happens at the end of a day makes sense.

Another cause is what psychologists call "decision fatigue." As we go through the day, we are constantly having to make decisions - including very small, in-the-moment decisions that we are barely aware of making. At some point our energy for continuing to do so becomes exhausted.

The other factor about this time of day is very often our dopamine levels are also depleted. Thus there is a huge temptation to get a "fix" through surfing the web, getting lost in rabbit holes on social media, overeating or whatever our particular method of getting it is.

It turns out that this period in the evening where we face low energy and low willpower can be more than problematic - it can even be potentially dangerous if we are not aware of it and plan for it accordingly.

For example, it turns out that it is during this period when a person who is on a diet is most vulnerable to breaking their successful track record and give into the temptation to eat junk foods they had chosen to stop eating. It is during this period where those who have given up alcohol or cigarettes are most vulnerable to the temptation to start up again.

The best advice I have seen given on this is, when you get to the point in the evening that you are completely spent to the degree that you are no longer functioning in an intentional or productive manner - or your intentionality and productivity are severely handicapped - is to simply go to bed. If you don't get enough sleep - then this will help you get more sleep and perhaps enable your energy levels to last longer into the day. If you already get enough sleep and it is an hour before your normal bed time, go to bed and get up an hour earlier and make productive and intentional use of that extra hour in the morning when your reserves of energy and willpower have been replenished.

Now, simply going to bed earlier is sometimes easier said than done. And there are times when you have tasks and chores that absolutely NEED to be done - such as making dinner, clearing up dishes, packing lunch or ironing clothes for the next day.

The best suggestion I have for this is to plan and prepare for it in advance at a time when your decision making skills and willpower have not yet been depleted. If you wait until the moment to determine what you need to be doing you will be doing so in an environment when your decision making skills are at their lowest and thus setting yourself up for the real possibility of failure.

If there are chores and errands that simply MUST be done in the evening, my recommendation is to make a list of what you intend to do far in advance. Once you get home or otherwise transition from work, don't stop for a break or a rest. Instead, immediately start knocking out that list as the later you wait to do so the more difficult getting started will be.

Taking a break during the day when your mind is still alert is different than taking a break when your tank is running close to empty. You mind is kind of like the motor on a refrigerator. A refrigerator motor doesn't consume all that many watts of electricity while it is running. But when it starts, it does take an initial burst of many, many more watts of electricity to get it going.

The same is true when it comes to going back to work after one has taken a break. It requires a pretty big burst of energy and willpower to shift back into the work one needs to be doing. If you take a break to clear your mind early in the day, you have plenty of energy and willpower to make that shift. If you take a break in the evening because you are tired, making that shift might require more mental energy and willpower than you have left.

So the key to knocking out what needs to be done during that period is to, as much as possible, remove in advance the need for you to make decisions and exercise willpower. Have a list itemizing what you need to do and in what order and just plow through it before taking a break or attempting to wind down.

It is also EXTREMELY important that you avoid, if at all possible, doing work during this time that requires a lot of focus, thinking skills, decision making or anything that is emotional. For example, this is NOT the time of day you should be scheduling mentally taxing tasks such as writing important emails or letters or reports. And this is probably not the best time to have a difficult conversation with your spouse - the fact that both of you are low on emotional energy and willpower and, therefore, patience, might result in that conversation not turning out so well.

To the degree possible, try to limit the tasks that you knock out to things that you can do more or less by rote - household chores, meal preparation, etc. Find some other time of day to schedule tasks and conversations for which you will need to be at your best in terms of your energy reserves and willpower. This is where going to bed earlier so you can get up earlier can come in handy.

Equally important is to resist the temptation to go on a desperate quest to seek out dopamine hits during this period. Nothing wrong with watching a bit of television or looking at social media per se. But if you find that you get sucked into it in a desperate quest for a dopamine hit - that can become a problem. Many experts suggest disconnecting from electronic devices entirely for an hour prior to bed time.

Finally, if you feel you are experiencing this earlier in the day or to a much more intense level than you should, it might help to take a close look at what is draining your energy and willpower during the day.

For a couple of years at work, I had to constantly contend with an individual who was downright toxic to me. The stress of the situation plus the mental energy and willpower required to control how I responded to this person and to try and get myself into as positive a mindset as possible was EXHAUSTING. This definitely had an impact on my mental and emotional energy levels in the evenings and even on weekends. My reduced energy was merely a symptom of a wider problem - the actual problem was that I allowed myself to remain in a toxic environment for way too long.

Trying to contend with the challenges of ADHD is also exhausting. Remember, willpower is a finite resource. If you spend your day constantly exerting willpower on remembering to knock out small, constantly shifting trivial tasks, you WILL become tired and feel the blahs.

On the other hand, if you learn to use hacks such as developing routines, writing down future action items as they occur to you and holding daily/weekly planning sessions with yourself, you can greatly reduce the amount of willpower that needs to be expended in order to stay on top of such things.

So the good news is this is something that is, at the very least, common and not necessarily the result of our ADHD. The wider population experiences it as well. And, given that it is normal to feel physically tired after a day of heavy physical labor, what we are feeling could very well be the completely normal result of a day with lots of heavy mental and emotional labor.

But, if this is the case, then the downside is that that there is no "cure" - and, perhaps any alleged "cure" might be worse than the problem. For example, there are drugs that can make the mind of a person who is physically tired unaware that they are tired and thus able to continue their physical activities. But there is an inevitable crash afterwards and doing physical activity when one's body is tired can cause real damage to muscles and bones.

Instead of trying to "cure" the situation - recognize that, at least to a certain degree, it is normal and plan your daily activities around it. If it is excessive, try to identify what is going on in your day and in your life that is draining your mental and emotional energy and your willpower. Then seek out a strategy to help minimize this drain. It could be a simple as learning a few hacks and techniques such as routines - or it could even require a wider effort to remove yourself from negative people and environments.