Why ????

[anniebooty]

relationship with my father is non existent he recently made contact with me after our last conversation i didn't think he will call me. Our last conversation i said "is there any point in us meeting "??? he replied with "if you think there no point then lets not meet" i said yes please don't call me again and i hanged up on him

me thinking that he will never call but he has he recently called me to see if i was free to meet up i said no im working. I got no feelings for this man i don't see him as a father as hes never been here for me besides the odd visit not him to me its me to him. No birthday wishes No birthday presents NOTHING then when i turned 21 he rang me to wish me a happy birthday im surprised he even bloody remembered but i was out of town at the time and he spoke to the sister

Why did he bloody ring i was doing OK ish before he bloody rang now my head is all over the place

[Gambit62]

Relationships with close family members can be really difficult to deal with when they go wrong.

Unfortunately the only person who can actually tell you why your father has tried contacting you is your father.

It is obvious that his behaviour in the past has hurt you very deeply and you have learnt to live with that by cutting him out of your life.

There aren't any right or wrong things to do - no matter what society's conventions or other members of your family may say. It may be that something has happened in your father's life that has made him realise how much he has hurt you and he wants to make amends - but it could be something completely different.

Personally I suggest that you contact someone like RELATE - they deal with all sorts of family relationships not just partners. It would give you a neutral place where you could meet with your father and talk through how you are feeling in the presence of someone else who can help you make sure you are heard by your rather and also help you make sure you are really hearing what your father is trying to tell you. If he is serious about healing the relationship then he should be willing to give that a go, though I know it will sound really weird.