When a young adult is treated for cancer their body can react in a variety of ways: surgery can cause permanent scarring, treatments can cause hair loss and weight loss, and in some of the rarer types of melanoma, it can cause the loss of an eye or a jaw. Has cancer affected your body image? How have you overcome it?
Scars Are Tattoos with Better Stories... - Young Adults with...
Scars Are Tattoos with Better Stories...
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I don't let my scars define me. I used to be subconscious about letting them show. Now I don't care. If nothing else, they can open a conversation
Fantastic question! My initial mole removal was blotched so I have a nice "ugly" scar to show for it. I tell my little cousins it was a baby shark bite and they think I'm super badass now. Then I have lovely scar where they removed my lymph nodes in my groin. Now three new scars (one right on my chest with no way to hide it in the summer) so I'm going to embrace them. I also wear a compression stocking on my leg since I developed lymphodema in my leg where they removed the lymph nodes. Some people comment on it, but mostly I think the less you care, the less others care. If they ask why I'm only wearing one nylon I say that's my modest leg I was a very image conscious teenager and young adult and in a weird way, it has been freeing to be less and less perfect looking with each medical treatment surgery.
It really helps that I don't have shallow friends or family and my partner finds me beautiful regardless. If anyone wants to reach out to me to vent about their scars though, I am all ears because the first ugly scar was the hardest but it got better after that!
My melanoma (stage 1A, so the only treatment was WLE--I got off easy) was on the left side of my face on my temple so, as you can imagine, the scar (~5-6") is impossible to hide and I'm missing some hair, too. It's been getting better--the surgeon did a good job so most people assure me that, if they didn't know it was there, they wouldn't notice. That's sometimes hard for me to believe. I went back to work a few days after surgery when I still had the gauze and stitches. Complete strangers would ask me what happened to my face. It felt like my husband and others were embarrassed to be seen with me because I looked like a battered woman with the gauze (he really tried not to show it--it's a non-issue now that half my face isn't covered in gauze and my eye isn't puffy/black and blue). Describing melanoma to strangers became daily occurrence when I was recovering from surgery (probably both due to the tendency of people to look and stare at things that are new/different and my own insecurity with my revised face). Exactly 1 year later, it's still hard for me to believe that people aren't staring at my face as I walk down the street but it's getting better. The scar fading has helped a lot--I've never cared much how I looked before so my new-found vanity is weird for me. What also helped was joking about the scar to normalize it. I'm still determining if this is helpful long-term but, short term, gallows humor Young Frankenstein references helped take away the sting and make me laugh ("Damn, your face--too late", for example). Now, the hardest emotional aspects of melanoma for me are more in the area of how to enjoy life without thinking about the possibility of recurrence every 1-2 h when I have to re-apply sunblock.
I have had more than 50 moles removed in the last year. It is mentally taking its toll. I feel mutilated and the underlying worry of is it back or is there another one also takes its toll. Over the last 6 years, only once at my regular 6 week- 3 month check did I not have to have a mole cut off. I am weary with the routine. Every time I get another ( or a few more) moles removed, it puts me in a funk for days. Ugh! This is hard.
I know when I go to appts and have to take off my shirt people see the scars on my back. When I started getting massages for pain in ribs and shoulder areas the woman saw the scars and questioned me about them. So I was able to tell her about skin cancer and how it affected the changes in my life. When I go to doctors and take my shirt off so doctor can examine and check for anything they check. They quiz me about the scars. Kind of a good opener for me since I am normally a quiet person. Doesn't bother me since I cannot see the scars.