Firestarter

Firestarter

I’ve just been looking through my sister-in-law’s Christmas photos on Facebook, missing the fun that I could have had, my dad and nephew having a tickle fight, seeing a parade of fancy dress outfits, a fairy, Dart Vader and a pirate. So here I am again, on my own, at least I like my own company, the minus side of being surrounded by lots of people is that the presence of other people triggers off my tics, but to be honest, I’d rather be a ticcing nightmare rather than calm, maudlin with just Belle & Sebastian for company (bought by myself from Amazon).

The inspiration for this particular post comes from a fellow ticcer, who at first I thought was more accidental than me, I the fact that he set his grill on fire, and ADHD moment when something else suddenly became more interesting than cooking. He was feeling quite upset about this incident so of course reassured him with the fact that these little incidents have happened to the best of us, well some of us, me included. So here’s a bit more reassurance for him, hopefully this might put his mind at rest, although I’d probably never be invited around to his house after he reads this. So here goes, fire-related incidents that I have been involved in.

1.Blowing up my mum’s cooker. After a nice Sunday morning lie-in trying to get out of going to mass, I get up just after my mum leaves, my dad in his usual way, hints that he wants something to eat (surely by now he should be able to cook for himself) I make myself, and Daddy too some tea, I put some toast under the grill for us and start to make some scrambled egg, Daddy standing right behind me telling me what he wants. However the sparky lighter thing on the cooker no longer works so it has to be lit with a match, but instead of a little blue flame we get a loud explosion and instant flames that are taller than Daddy (aprox 5’10) this has obviously shocked us in unison we shout “F***ING HELL!!!!” , at this point my mother has returned to get something that she forgot, and we get a telling off for swearing, we’re shocked, never mind the fact that the house could have gone up in flames, we could have been burnt to a frazzle, we get told off for swearing!!! This is to be expected really.

2.The Saint John Lloyd’s fire scarletfever.org/forum/you-... I looked for a picture of SJL prior to the fire, but the only ones around are the class photos, there’s one on my Facebook page, 1F in the school hall, sadly there’s no more hall, no more plaque or crucifix, luckily all of 1F are still with us as is the lovely Mrs Foligno who is still teaching Welsh at SJL. I was in chemistry and we were just clearing up when the fire alarm goes off, so under the instruction of our teacher we make our way outside, and shock of all shocks we see smoke coming from the roof, when we get to the netball pitches we’re then moved on to the playing field, further away from the building, lots of kids are crying, I just feel kind of numb – like “oh, schools on fire” everybody else are hugging each other and wailing. My mother turned up sometime later and in an unusual way started hugging me and kissing me, we went home. That evening it was all over the news footage of my school in flames. After 2 weeks we were back at school, or rather the school population had been split into 2, the younger pupils being sent to Bryngwyn ( I went there later to do my A levels) and we went to Coedcae. Going to Coedcae to us was a great opportunity, amongst all the confusion of finding our way around another school and getting to know the Coedcae kids, to lose ourselves, many an extended lunch break was taken at my friend Y’s nonna’s house where in return for helping her with the hovering, washing up and floor mopping we’d be well fed with homemade pasta and cakes, I was offered numerous doll-sized cups of espresso but I’m not really a coffee fan. We were taken back to the school to be given a tour and see what had happened, the main building was destroyed, the other buildings were smoke damaged, GCSE course work up in smoke, and it was quite an upsetting experience knowing that a place where we had spent so much time was completely irreplaceable. Saint John Lloyds would never be the same again. Mr Perrott, our RE teacher had a fantastic collection of posters, gone two of them I remember vividly, one was a poster designed by the government during WW2 “Careless talk costs lives” showing two women talking on a bus the other was school of piranhas all swimming one way and in amongst them was a ecumenical fish swimming the other way, the text read “Don’t go with the flow”. I was under strict instruction to get my coat from the chemistry lab, even after several washes it still smelt of smoke. This was a running joke with the Coedcae kids, “we can smell the John Lloyders coming”. Strangely enough some weeks after we were able to return to SJL to our new portacabins, mockingly referred to by Coedcae kids as “Kiln Park” after a large Haven caravan park in Tenby there was a small fire in one of their portacabins (don’t look at me).

3.Microwave. This wasn’t to long ago and will make my fellow ticcer giggle, I had one of those bag things that are filled with wheat and lavender, you’re supposed to put them in the microwave for a couple of minutes and then their just the thing for period pains or any other muscular pain, perfect for a ticcer to put on any painful bits, I use it quite a bit on my neck and shoulders. As usual I put it in the microwave, set the timer, a bit too much, I was planning to go back and check it….but I forgot…..(hang head in shame) I got way laid, I went to check my emails……I smelt something odd coming from the kitchen….OMG there was smoke coming from the microwave, I opened the door and there were flames come from the wheat thingy, so I did the sensible thing and opened the backdoor (it was a cold wintry evening) and threw it out, there were still small flames coming from it and the kitchen had filled with horrible smelling smoke. I was told by Pete that I wasn’t allowed another one. Who says? He should try being a woman with TS, I’ve got another one. I never do as he says anyway.

After reading this I’m sure that the powers that be at the Barberry will be revisiting their fire risk assessment in preparation for our next visit. Our consultant will be sure to invest in a flame retardant suit for when either of us see him next. (Would they look smart enough?) On a lighter note here’s some fire-safety themed entertainment that you may remember. For the Welsh speakers I could unfortunately only find the theme tune.

And here’s the whole thing for non-Welsh speakers.

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