For me at the moment one of the most distressing parts of my TS is my NOSI, that’s Non-Obscene Socially Inappropriate, that’s me shouting the most ridiculously, childish insults that anyone could ever dream up, usually I’d prefer to insult people in a more intelligent way. Having NOSI is like being constantly being followed by Father Dougal Maguire who is giving you a running commentary on those around you, for example there I am on the bus home, one of my fellow travellers is an African woman who like some Muslim women is wearing her hair tightly wrapped up in a scarf, a white scarf, the Dougal within is shouting “ah, look at the woman with her head in a bandage, bandage head” I’m fighting the urge to shout and my conscience tells me that’s a racist comment. Bandageheadbandageheadbandagehead “BANDAGE HEAD” it’s out there, did anybody hear me? There was certainly no need to insult the woman like that. Unlike coprolalia where those around you have got the message that you’ve got Tourettes, shouting explained, NOSI however is not what the media portray usually with regards to fictional ticcers so people aren’t as inclined to believe your that your strange outburst would be attributed to Tourettes. The victims of my NOSI, I call them victims as they don’t deserve to be shouted at by me, some of these victims get it on a regular basis and a take my hat off to those who time after time just take it on the chin, one of them I don’t even know his name! These unwitting victims basically fall into 4 categories;
The larger person. These poor folk get the Dougal within me going, stranger in the street, friend or colleague out comes “FAT” it ain’t big and it ain’t clever, just downright embarrassing.
The people who look vaguely like a famous person. There’s a poor man who I frequently see in Bedworth, he bears a slight resemblance to Elvis in his later years but obviously you wouldn’t see him in the baked goods aisle of Tescos sporting a glittery jumpsuit, But he does say “Uhh huh,huh” back to me like Elvis did. Having a Bryan Ferry look-alike playing drums for you could have been an awkward situation but he too took it well and was quite happy that I thought he bared a resemblance to the suave Geordie singer. I managed to hold it together when I did see the real Janet Street Porter when I was down in London just before Christmas.
People wearing interesting items of clothing. This is fairly random be it a fashion faux-pas or something I’d quite like myself, these poor unfortunates get the NOSI treatment too. Those who get the compliments either avoid, me or we end up striking up a conversation. I did get some odd looks when the Dougal within spotted a couple of trainspotters complete with flasks at Milton Keynes Station once. I think I’d rather have TS than be a trainspotter, those anoraks were hideous.
Somebody I don’t know very well or have just been introduced to. Basically with these people there seems to be a fascination with their name, and now is not the time or the place to shout out their name. Lately I’ve been doing a short course on E-commerce, one of the tutors, lets call him Mike starts the session …”MIKE” …”what is it?”, “nothing, that was just a tic, please ignore me”. A little later…”MIKE” you get the picture, this could try the patience of a saint let alone getting on the nerves of a lapsed agnostic Catholic who frequently calls out to people. I’m finding this tic quite bothersome, one day I feel I might be answered by “Shut up and go away!”.
