If You Were There

If You Were There

If you were there, with me earlier in the week you’d know that my brain wasn’t quite working the way it should be and a major component of my last blog post went missing. Apart from Monday being the day of Remembrance for those that have died due to the tragedy that is the Work Capability Assessment I’d also heard the news that my village now has it’s very own food bank for 2 days a week, well shared with Bedworth, I can think of two individuals who would have welcomed a food bank in Bedworth, I’ve probably mentioned the couple before, the Mullins, their benefits withdrawn they lived in one room of their house and kept their veg (from a food bank in Coventry city centre – a rather long walk away) in the shed. Unfortunately the couple died. You can read more about their hand to mouth existence on the following Channel 4 news article:

channel4.com/news/police-in...

I feel quite shaken by the fact that there are people on my doorstep that are in need of a food bank, I’m only two housing benefit payments away from being homeless (that’s tent dwelling rather than B&B).

This weather is beginning to get to me, although (I feel like such a spoilt brat here) my house has a fairly new boiler and gas central heating ( I’ve lived without, the joys of being a student) our lounge gas fire was condemned last summer, we asked over and over in preparation for the winter and nothing, still nothing. I don’t know if you’re like me when the temperature drops the tics start to go overboard, particularly around my face with some extra coprolalia thrown in for good measure, despite walking around Lidl trying to bag some grocery bargains my vocal tics (thanks to somebody who will remain nameless, she knows who she is) has added to the festive tics “I’m a Christmas donkey” and “Santa doesn’t exist!” my singing talents (I’ve only ever sung if I’ve had too – “you WILL sing 2nd soprano in Carmina Burana”. “Ok”) “Deck the halls with t**s and f*****s”. This hasn’t happened a while, occasionally I’d burst into a crimp, I'm cold, my facing is all twisty, twisty, squint, squit. ( I feel a crimp coming on)

urbandictionary.com/define.... but that was about it tic-singing wise.

Something else I thought I might share with you was this vital document, I’m not sure when these rises will take place but I’m sure we’ve all started to get wise and figure out ways to make the budget go further considering the bad potato and wheat harvest. The field of corn that was growing nearby (not sure if they were for human or animal consumption I never got around to trying some) was harvested very late due to the poor summer. But here you are, benefit rates for 2013 - data.parliament.uk/Deposite...

Another thing that has become apparent over the last few days is the Job Centre Plus’s website, I’m sure anybody who has had the “pleasure” of having to sign on and search the DWP’s job website will have come across some gems, those temping agencies that sign you up, send you to work, deduct from you pay money to pay for your safety boots, day-glo vest, transport, etc…etc…leave you with very little and then you feel good about your new job and then the work mysteriously dries up and amounts to nothing as does the contents of your bank account, I’ve come across some that would make you smile. Have you ever fancied being a magician? A nightclub photographer? An escort? An Avon lady? These jobs aren’t going to pay the rent, unless you live in a matchbox or have a partner with a job. Jobs aside people have been having problems logging into the website and if they’re lucky enough to get in whatever criteria they search for no matches come up. It’s also come apparent that the jobs that are being advertised aren’t vetted, (I found the magician and escort jobs at my local Job Centre Plus, and maybe I could combine them? With coprolalia I would definitely have a unique selling point). It’s become apparent that some unscrupulous people have been phishing for personal details via online job applications, I bet some are wondering who would fall for such a scam, but believe you me when you’ve been on the dole for a while you start to get a bit desperate and apply for almost anything. Pot wash on a cruise ship in Thailand? YES! Quick, quick, where’s my passport? Bank details (???!!!) Yeah sure….here they are….cross fingers Thailand here I come!

Anyway, think warm, here are some warm thoughts.

1 Reply

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  • Hmm... I wonder what dirty minded little lady might have given you the deck the halls tic... ;)

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