Space Cowboy

Space Cowboy

I’ve got the “stupids” good and proper, I’m not sure if I’m coming or going, and situations that have come about due to the stupids are becoming more prevalent. Now I haven’t got the best memory in the world, but as I live with somebody who well, doesn’t really make much effort in the helping me remember things department that’s left to me with the aid of my diary and my Spongebob Squarepants calendar, but the stupids have indeed taken over. For those not in the know “the stupids” are a nasty side effect from taking too many crazy meds, as I take a yummy cocktail of Carbarmazipine, Flupentixol, Venlaflaxine and often cocodamol the lights are on but nobody’s home. I have an excuse for some of things that have happened recently but ‘im indoors has been completely away with the fairies and that’s of his own choosing, yesterday he decided to cut his hair, a normal person would go to a hairdresser, a tight a*** would ask his girlfriend (I would have been happy to do this) but no, he cut it whilst tied back with wire cutters, a friend tried to sort out the mess after falling about laughing but still he looks like a washed up raver minus the tie-dye, day-glo and whistle. I have cut men’s hair before, quite successfully with a head of curly hair that stays put and clippers, but not on Dougal’s look-alike gone wrong.

Back to my own stupids, here they are, some of them I may have mentioned before.

1.Walking out of the village shop with a bright yellow plastic basket after forgetting to pay for my shopping. (Oh dear) Luckily I remembered. I also know there is a camera outside the shop so the shopkeeper can see which adults are being hassled the kids to buy fags and booze.

2.Putting items into my handbag in Home bargains. If I was going to shoplift I’d go somewhere a bit classier, Selfridges for example. I hate shoplifters; it’s quite petty and pointless so by choice Selfridges is safe I’m not intentionally going to shoplift. I realized I had the item by the time I got to the till and paid for it fair and square. I sometimes tic “SHOPLIFTER” when around shop security staff. Not big and not clever, certainly not recommended.

3.Forgetting to see my psychiatrist. The appointment was put back, this kind of upset my karma, and hands up, I forgot. That was last week, I realized this on Saturday, today I’ve been trying to get in touch with my CPN to try and rectify this almighty f***-up. Just a bit worried as neither my CPN nor my psychiatrist’s secretary have been in touch to see if I’m ok. The answer no, I’m suffering from the stupids.

4.The Argos fiasco, if you’re not from the UK, here’s a little explanation into the world of Argos.

Basically I went in with the aim of buying a pair of underbed storage boxes with wheels (that’s important bit, the wheels) for £19.99, so I filled in my little slip of paper and thought “wow, bargain, it’s been reduced to £14.99” paid up and waited for them to arrive, scared off a small child with my tics, I guess if I was 4 and had to sit next to the shouty woman I’d be scared, joked with her mum “bless her, I’d be scared of me if I was her” just to break the ice and put them at ease, and wehey, my numbers up, I inspect the boxes, but no wheels, I figure out the problem, I’ve ordered the wrong boxes. (What a dufus) they check to see if they have them, no. I have to go to the city centre Argos to get them. More time wasted when I should be cleaning in preparation for our annual house inspection. Luckily I wasn’t alone and had a friend with me so this experience wasn’t so bad but as I live with somebody who lives on another planet I usually have to deal with this stuff on my own.

Currently the lovely picture by a young ticcer from Oop North at the top of this blog post perfectly describes the inside of my head, full of pretty bubbles. By the way he’s becoming an excellent photographer; the picture above is from series extreme close-ups of various objects. So in the words of Rolf Harris “can you see what it is?” So I’m off to do some cleaning but before I go just to let you know I’ve just arranged the next meeting for us folk in the Midlands on the 22nd of September, feel free to get in touch for more info. facebook.com/events/5048210...

I did apparently see the Prodigy live at some all-nighter at a nightclub in Colchester but I can’t remember, I can’t remember the name of the club either but I went there a lot after going attending chamber orchestra rehearsals. So if you know the name of the big nightclub on Colchester High Street please let me know.

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  • It was called the Cooleseum or the Hippodrome or something.