Since my last blog post I have been told that I am 100% definitely moving to Bedford. While I am happy that things are going well with the move, I am also very scared because I hate change. I have had two relatively tic free weeks... because the first week I was poorly with sinusitis, and the second week some kind of stomach bug/stress induced gut problem! My tics always relax a little when I am ill but as I expected, they are returning about three times as bad now. My coprolalia had pretty much disappeared at one point then one morning I woke up and shouted 'F**K' really loud. So loud that I nearly scared myself out of bed! Since the single f word, it has been going all out again. I am also a masochistic, dog obsessive sex fiend with a thing about setting light to Fiat Puntos apparently. It is interesting what my Tourettes comes up with about me because it is usually the complete opposite to the truth!
Later today, after horse riding (hopefully no copro on the poor horse!), I will be going to my new house to meet the other people I will be living with in just a month and a bit's time! It seems so soon! I am very nervous about it because I have an annoying habit of never fitting in anywhere so I am scared that they will all think I am scary because I am loud! I think Ralph is more excited than me about moving though because he knows that I will have more money. At the moment I pay the care company I am with over £200 a month which takes a large chunk of my benefits away. When I move, the room will be paid for with housing benefits so my main benefits will go towards things I need like food, clothes and rabbit food! So how does this work out well for Ralph? Well I have worked out that once I have about £400 saved for him and a spare £400 on top of that (for vet fees), I can get him a little doe! Before anyone panics (as loads have), Ralph has had the 'snip' and I will be adopting the doe from the animal shelter I work at so she should have had the 'snip' as well. I really can't deal with a whole litter of rabbit kittens on top of everything else! Ralph will also benefit because I will be able to afford the 11ftx5ft run that the shelter require for adoptions. Ralph will love the extra space!
I am sure that the other residents will be brilliant because they are all fairly independent, all have Aspergers like me and are apparently, good at coming to mutual agreements about things which bother them. The team leader says they are very good at coming to compromises which is something that has been very difficult at my current home because most of the others are unaware of what compromise means. I've only recently learnt the skill of compromise after about 12+ years of controlling my entire family to do things the way I want them to be. The worst thing (well according to my brother) was that I wouldn't let anyone listen to music in the house unless they had headphones on. Nowadays I am much more relaxed about other people's music and I have more coping mechanisms for when I am not so relaxed. Wireless headphones have proved to be my friends, plus a large stereo from Tesco which has a cassette player so I can listen to Phantom of the Opera on repeat over and over again! I might start using my headphones for that when I move. They are quite tolerant of it here but my new housemates might not be quite so welcoming when they realise I can listen to four different cast recordings one after another!
Anyway I have to go get my jodhpurs on and get ready for horse riding. I may or may not update this blog about how tonight goes. I am hoping that I will be too happy to think about updating it but there is also a possibility that the majority of this evening will be spent on my bed with a book making train noises... That's how I calm myself down...
Tourettes not just a tic disorder
Motor tics in a 9 year old