He loves me….he loves me not. Oh well, I knew that anyway. What else would I expect I’m a woman with Tourette’s syndrome I don’t seem to attract many men, I tend to repel them. If I did receive a Valentine’s gift next week I’d be amazed, astounded, even if I received a generic gift like the one in the picture. If I did receive a similar gift firstly I’d be knocked sideways by shock and then secondly be suspicious with regards to his motives.
I first got the idea for this particular post after reading a thread on a group for people with Autism and Asperger’s where they were discussing their sexuality. Sometimes I wish I could just switch my libido off for a sad case like me being asexual would be a good option; unfortunately I’m heterosexual, plain old heterosexual. I’m attracted to men (certain men), I enjoy sex with men (no men)…..when was that, I could count the number of times I’ve had sex in the last two years on one hand. Yes, just one normal hand.
It’s most likely to be my TS that puts off the men, the men who do approach me fall into these categories.
• The man with beer goggles. This man is so drunk he doesn’t notice my coprolalia let alone any other tics. Smells bad, not nice.
• The “Wow, you’ve got Tourette’s guy”. This man will stand there for about 10 mins basically blathering on about “wow, it must be soooo cool to have Tourette’s, you can swear at cops!” Idiot. Despite telling him a few truths about life with TS he still thinks it’s amusing, also he is difficult to shake off despite him thinking that when you tell him to go forth and multiply that it’s funny and not realising that you actually MEAN IT!
• The “that’s interesting” guy. It does get tiring when people you have just met just want to talk about your TS. He’s well meaning, and it’s not really his fault, it’s just his way of initiating a conversation. If everybody he met started talking about his brown hair to him he’s probably get a bit bored.
• The “I bet you talk dirty in bed” guy. This guy seems to be quite into the idea that a bit coprolalia might happen in his bedroom – I don’t think so. Probably a close mate of the second man on the list.
I did try a bit of internet dating last year, but I’m a bit wary now, the first I think was just curious and wanted another notch to his bedpost – I think he was thinking along the lines of the last guy on the list but kept his thoughts to himself. Also being an educated man with a good job wouldn’t have let such a sleazy cliché come out from his mouth. I doubt very much if he’d introduce me to his friends and family, probably would be very wary about being seen in public with me. When you have coprolalia is quite hard not to get noticed. The second, (bless his little cotton socks) was just clueless, (a plus and a minus) the plus being that he didn’t talk about it when we first met, the minus being that he wasn’t really aware of some of the problems I face, “shall we go to the cinema?”. I think that this was a cultural thing as he was a post graduate student from overseas.
There are also the financial implications of being a female ticcer, my employment prospects aren’t looking to good at the moment, so currently I just tend to move in circles with people with similar prospects, so we’re all skint together.
Maybe, I should just go to the Ann Summers shop?
