Anyone new to tinnitus and decides to research it, will soon learn that it’s a common condition, that many people habituate to without too much of a problem and are able to carry on with their life, doing everything that they want to. In time they will often regard it as something minor that might occasionally be noticeable in quiet surroundings. In some ways I agree with this because in its simplest form, tinnitus for a lot of people is just that. Something that can easily be managed and is probably rarely talked about unless the subject comes up during a conversation, with a person that’s having some difficulty coping with it.
Therefore, it shouldn’t come as a surprise when someone who has it mild or moderate casually dismisses it saying: “I have been there, found it troublesome at first but got used to it and eventually learned to ignore it and you will too. There are plenty medical conditions that are much worse”. Such a statement is insensitive and understandably, one might regret having mentioning it when according to some, they should be thanking their lucky stars they don’t have a serious disability or terminal illness. The doctors, books and online information all say a similar thing. People adjust to it in time so this must be true, and indeed it is. However, rarely can something be so easily categorized and pigeonholed into saying one size fits all because it doesn’t. I believe this is particularly true for tinnitus.
Anyone that has habituated within the first six months, perhaps longer and believes what they have gone through will be the same for everyone else is mistaken, because this certainly is not the case. It is surprising how quickly some people forget and often play down the severity of this condition because trouble and strife is no longer at their door. I am often contacted by people that have expressed this, after been told by others that have habituated. I have read posts, in forums from people with this belief that should really know better especially when giving advice to those in distress. Whilst it’s good to embrace positivity and to project it, I think showing sensitivity and understanding to one’s circumstances is vital, when they are clearly going through a difficult time.
The truth is, tinnitus comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. When it is loud and intrusive, it can be very debilitating and is an entirely different condition from when it is mild or moderate. This can affect a person’s mental well being considerably. Each day can bring a different experience as it can feel like the person is riding an emotional roller coaster. Unless someone has been affected by tinnitus in this way, it can be difficult to understand and even harder for a person that’s never experienced tinnitus. It is one of the reasons so many people say, they feel let down and disappointed after seeing their ENT doctor. He or She doesn’t understand tinnitus and what I’m going through is a typical comment.
To be fair to ENT doctors, I have always said they are not tinnitus experts. They are physicians and know all about the anatomy of the ear and are able to treat it medically or surgically and I believe the majority of them do this well. In most situations, if there is no underlying medically problem causing the tinnitus and it is unable to be treated medically or surgically, the patient will usually be referred to a Hearing Therapist or Audiologist for tinnitus management. Often these health professionals have the condition and were either born with it or acquired it at some time in their life.
It is here, that one will usually get the help and understanding they need and treatments available. I believe when tinnitus is severe and intrusive and this level of intensity is sustained, it is comparable to any acute medical condition, simply because of what it is able to do to a person’s state of mind. Under these circumstances a person can do something irrational that they wouldn’t normally do if there were not in such a distressed state and there lies the paradox. Hopefully, before a person’s situation reaches to such a state, they will be able to get the help they need.
Thank you Michael, Excellent, always considered and informative. Others cannot begin to understand how intrusive T affects someone, any more than I can I understand , say, a person with cancer. Angela xx
I first started with T maybe 10yrs ago and as in Michael's (excellent) post, it was an issue at the start but I soon got used to it and it didn't cause any difficulties whatsoever in day to day living. I don't recall ever coming across anyone else who had the condition, so I didn't downplay it but with the benefit of hindsight, I was naïve in the extreme in my assessment of my situation as 'I have permanent tinnitus'. It genuinely never occurred to me that it might get worse - I know better now!! The last 6mths have been difficult, to put it mildly, as my whistling friend has taken up permanent residence in my head and likes to make sure I don't forget about him. I'm trying to manage on a day by day basis in the hope that habituation will be possible for me, but I'm struggling to maintain that hope in the face of this daily torture.
Sorry to hear your tinnitus has got worse. If the tinnitus was originally caused by loud noise and it has got worse, the usual reason is further exposure to loud noise/sounds. Do you listen to music through headphones or attend places where loud music is played?
I think my T was originally caused by noise exposure - too many gigs & clubs in my younger days without a moment's thought to hearing protection. Those habits fell by the wayside, just as I got older rather than through any concern for my hearing, but I still didn't really give it much consideration - as I said in my earlier post, I just assumed I have tinnitus, it's no big deal. How wrong was I? Since it has got worse, I'm obviously a lot more aware and careful about protecting my hearing, but it's too little too late unfortunately.
I think my deterioration is due to my job - I work in a call centre and spent 3/4mths in a really noisy office with very quiet phones, so I was frequently straining to hear what clients were saying on the phone.
I am still going through the initial struggle of dealing with this affliction, but lots of people manage to cope with it, so there should be no reason why I can't. I've just got to avoid doing anything daft until I can get to that point.
I totally agree with you Michael. I was totally distraught for the first six months of my tinnitus - in a really bad way. Then I found a few things to help me - hearing aids, counselling, BTA, our local support group, forum, and most of all success stories - they gave me hope.
Now two and a half years later I have learned to live with it. Some days it gets me down but mostly now I just get on with my life.
I always say that unless you have experienced something you cannot criticise. We would have to walk in that person`s shoes to know what they are going through.
To everyone on here who is suffering at the moment - never give up hope.
An excellent post and one that all of us truly appreciate as it really brings home the two sides of the T story. People don't understand what we go through - and habituation can take years, 16 in my case. You compare it to cancer - and of course I cannot compare, but if a cancer patient had to suffer for 16 years with a constant daily pain, I am sure the medical fraternity would be doing their utmost to get them the best "pain relief" to help them manage their condition. Ironically, my mother had cancer and died very young. She never spoke about it, as she lived in fear of doctors and believed in a "cure thyself" mentality. She battled through very day on her own as we didn't know she was ill - the pain she learnt to cope with until the very end.
We are all on a "life path" of one kind or another. Maybe the T life path makes us more patient and understanding as a community. It would be a very different world if we could all understand each others pain.
Thank you for your kind comments. Thanks for writing such a poignant post and all of it true. I am sorry to hear about the way your mother passed. Perhaps things might have been a little easier on her and the family if she opened up but everyone has their way. My mother also died of cancer and was a very independent and private person right up until the end. We were very close and I was one of the few people that she'd open up to. Not surprisingly I have a lot of her ways so people tell me.
Tinnitus can be a very debilitating condition when it is severe. Unfortunately, one has to experience this to know.
Oh how true, I'm nearly 7 months with it and not a second of relief and the volume is so loud I'm surprised I haven't jumped off a bridge, like everyone affected I just want it to stop or just reduce in volume oh and just one nights sleep, I won't make old bones that's for sure!
Hi jojo, I felt like that during the first 6 months. It will get better. Love, Angela xx. Look after your general health and try to do things you would normally have done before T. A healthy body and mind helps to fight it.
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