Funny stories

[MichaelJ8]

I ask you guys to share funny stories here.

[Luisa22]

I have a story. One day I woke up and my belly wasn't that great, but nothing serious. Just under par. I went to the toilet and did #2 and felt somewhat better, then decided to cheer myself up by going for a 3 mile walk on a long lane which goes round in a loop.

Half way round this loop I feel my guts start to misbehave. Nothing serious....yet , just an uneasy rumbly feeling.

I weighed up my options. Keep going and have to duck into a hedge at some point? (no wiping materials with me !!) I have learned NEVER to use Dock leaves or grass because there are biting insects on them.

I chose the safer option and decided to cut across fields and make a shortcut home just to be on the safe side, and hopefully make it to my bathroom.

Half way across this first field (there were three) I suddenly spotted a herd of Bullocks. OMG!

Not only was I going to probably have to go al-fresco, but I was either going to be trampled to death or have Bullocks watching me poop.

So I ran.

Now running....for me....age 70 with IBS-D, is not a good idea. But survival comes first and so I did it. I made it to the second field....more Bullocks!!

Did the same thing again until I was sure I'd die of a heart attack.

Got home, dashed to the bathroom, sat down.....

And let out a very genteel fart (only.)

Problem solved. No more distressed gut.

If only I'd known. I would have just kept walking minus Bullocks.

[xjrs in reply to Luisa22]

That is so funny Luisa22 . You should do stand up :-).

[merve1 in reply to Luisa22]

You did right - never trust a fart!

[Luisa22 in reply to merve1]

Haha! Never trust a fart....so true. I remember that from an old movie, and I am sure it was "As Good As It Gets" with Jack Nicholson? When I first heard that I laughed a LOT, but had no idea what it meant...until my gut got older...