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My husband wouldn't agree to talk to anyone, he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong

I am afraid that any love we had is now lost,there is no contact or comfort,I knew sex would be a no no for a while but never dreamt all contact would go.im not even sure any more that I want him after being rejected ,all I want is omfort and a cuddle .will we ever get back to normal .

2 Replies

Sorry you are having to go through this.

Your husband will be going through many different emotions

From being frightened angry and many others. Being a typical man

Who does not want to show any emotions , the anger he feels wil be taken

Out on the person closest to him, as he cannot take it out on the cancer for obvious reasons.

The garden will be his way of taking his mind off things, and one thing less for you to

Worry about if anything happens to him. I can assure you his feelings will be as sting for you as they ever were, but in a mans warped mind pushing you away will make it easier for you if anything does happen to him, and by what you are saying its working.

But pleae don't give up on him, you have got to get him to open up, try sitting down with a few drinks if you drink, it's surprising how it loosens people up.

If he will not speak to anyone, you speak to his Macmillan nurse on your own

And explain what's happening they will give you some advice on what to do. Bring it up at his next appointment don't tell him you are going to, he may get angry at the time, but it will be

Worth it in the end.

I don't know what stage your husband is, but if he is going through treatment that in itself

Is added pressure, because it does make you feel really crap.

Cancer as I am sure you are aware is a very difficult journey, not only

For the patient, but more so for the family involved. While you say that you are not sure you want him anymore in your post, I think you probably do or you would not have written your post, you will get through this, I have been there, it's not easy but cancer isn't.

Good luck and very best wishes


I do not wish to be un supportive, and i really do wish you the best but I'm confused.

Are you saying he won't go to the doctor? Or that he won't look for emotional help?

If it's the latter, maybe for him, like me, there is no such thing. Talking and sharing for some people is only hurt full and damaging. If he is worried about cancer and all that comes with it he may not be up for shouldering both burdens and I can see why.

For this reason I have no in case of emergency people and have had to give up jobs that insisted on them. When I had my scare I didn't tell anyone, and if anyone worked it out, I wouldn't have talked to them about it.

I hope this is of help. And all works out well.