big day ahead and need advice!

[MayComyn]

Hello all, and happy new year. As part of my (somewhat enormous) list of resolutions i pledged to register at a GP and finally confront my eating issues. As I've said in a previous post, I go through daily binge purge cycles, often being sick more than once in one day. I'm surprised that I haven't had more severe complications by now (this has been the case on and off since I was 21 but has worsened since I started to live alone) but my saliva glands have swollen and now I often have lumps around my jaw line. It sounds ridiculous but it's taken something this superficial to push me over the edge - I've been trying to stop for abut a year and each time, even when I eat a healthy stirfry, I lose control of the 'off button' and keep going. Never ending guilt! So, on tthe 25th I'm going to my new GP. Any advice on how to broach the subject? Hardly an ideal topic for a first appointment but if I don't grasp the nettle now i never will.

[njam]

HI

I was reading in the first steps out of eating disorders book that it can be a good idea to write a letter to you gp, send it to them before the appointment and then they can read it before and you have got it out there sort of thing, takes the pressure off saying everything you want to say at the appointment.

hope that helps some how

njam

[crazycrossstitcher]

writing a letter sounds really good advice. I tend to write a list of what I want to say - as I always find if I don't I come out having not actually asked any of the questions I want anwers to!! Be honest - I took the ABC booklet with me and gave it to the GP so he could understand what an ED actually was - hope your GP is more knowledgeable!

It takes a real step of faith to do what you are doing - so good on you.

I found structured meal plans - set times for eating - and planned activities either side of the meals helped control my binges - also arranged to ring a friend just to chat mindlessly should I feel a binge approaching - both things seemed to distract me from the guilt I felt eating - which I think took my finger off the control switch ie eating blocked out the guilt.

Will be thinking and praying for you on 25th

[MayComyn]

Thank you so much guys I really appreciate this! It's going to be a tough one as in the same appointment i need to ask for birth control.......which is of course an oral pill. I think it's going to be quite hard to explain that my habits have formed in a way that means I'm somehow able to control the urge in the morning when i take my pill, but that the evenings are a completely different story. I'm going to need to change my evening routine and eat with friends more i think - living alone doesn't help. What's frustrating is the fact that one recognises the need to change but lacks the willpower or strength to follow through. This is why professional help is so necessary. Hope my new GP will recognise this and give me a good contact.

[fadedlizard]

Hi May,

Just to let you know I'll be thinking of you and praying that all goes well for you tomorrow.

I know it's so hard to broach these subjects and I am guilty of playing everything down and telling medical professionals as little as i can get away with but try to be brave and don't hold back. Use your list and try to tell her everything, let her know how bad it really is. Emphasis that you are now in a place where you are ready to be helped so you need access to all the services she has at her disposal.

Your habits do not sound odd to me. I can control my purging in the mornings. It's in the evening when I've come home from wk that I slip into the routine of bingng and vomitting. I have even taken to eating my main meal at lunchtime when i know I will be distracted by work and won't feel so compelled to purge. At the moment I am working hard to deal with the underlying issues of depression and anxiety which I believe triggered my disorder in the first place. It's a work in progress but I haven't been sick since November although my eating is still v erratic. I really need this to be a turing point for me. I turned forty this year and I do not want to live like this any longer.

Please post again soon and let us know how you get on.

Love

Lizard.x

[MayComyn]

Hello Ms Lizard,

thank you so much for your kind words they make a tremendous difference. The meeting with the GP was very short indeed, with only 10 minutes to A)get my prescription and be measured/weighed etc and B)broach the subject! But he has asked me to come in again on Saturday morning for a proper consultation and has given me a sort of score sheet for depression/anxiety. Which is a bit odd and impersonal but pretty much what can be expected by a very stretched and under resourced NHS! I'm so clear in my own mind that this is the right time to deal with things, and it's an opportunity not to be missed, so will reinforce this when i speak on Saturday and try to push for the maximum access to professional help. I never use the healthcare system and after 10 years of working and paying taxes I feel entitled to make a fuss and come to terms with the severity of my problem! Thanks again for your support and I'll give you another update next week. Great to hear too of your own positive story and the fact that you're making progress, well done! xx