Feeling guilty about my ED

[riisikasa]

I am trying to recover from my eating disorder, but I still obsess over calories. I am trying not to, but I tend to talk a lot about calories and eating "healthy" when I am around my friends. I do not want them to get unhealthily fixated on counting calories and that leading to restricting. For example, when shopping for food with my friends, I might pick up a product and say "I would love to eat this tonight", but then I might put it back and say that it has too many calories and I won't have it because of that.

I feel so guilty because I have noticed them sometimes saying things such as "this has over 500 calories per 100g, maybe I won't have this" or "this meal must've been over 800 calories". Sometimes they've been joking or just saying those things without really meaning anything, but the last thing I want is them to develop eating disorders. Having an eating disorder was an absolute hell and I am still struggling, and I do not want my friends to copy any of my sick behaviour.

I'd like to know if this feeling is common, and is there anything I can do...

[crazycrossstitcher]

As a long term ED sufferer I know how you feel - are you getting any counselling/support to help you in recovery - I too struggle with not counting calories - but it is something I'm really trying to work on - and not to look automatically at the calorie count on every packet before I buy (don't always practice what I preach!!!) - but it is becoming the way of society unfortunately today - being hammered at us from the media all the time - but your friends looking at calories doesn't mean they are developing EDs - and I know it is a sensitive issue for me to - having calories highlighted by someone else - especially if - as I'm recovering - I know my body needs the higher calorie foods and my basket contains cake - there's contains diet yoghurt - it is recognising we are all different with different needs and that just because a friend is buying a low calorie product - they might be having a cream cake later - so concentrate on your needs and your recovery - and if you are not receiving help - ask your GP for a referral as it is treatment to deal with the issues that surround the ED that lead to real recovery and freedom.