Advice please

[0721]

Hi Everyone

I would like to ask some questions.

How can l stop my ED child to stop cutting his food into tiny pieces. Because he is checking for pieces of fat. Also he drops food on the table, under the table. How can l stop him?

Or would he give up this habit eventually during the recovery.

Could somebody advise me.

Thanks

[lattemilly]

Hi

This is very common in ED's. Try to remember that you are the adult and still hold the authority. In the beginning of my eating disorder treatment (even though it was inpatient) this scared me as I was still young enough to know the adults made the rules.

Try to put some rules in place like'We will sit down together until you have finished your meal not matter how long it takes' and be sure to get across that you are there to help him not punish him. Assure him that whatever you cook him will not have fat in it but as he is still young try to not let him take advantage of what foods he will and will not eat, because the eating disorder (not him) is very manipulative and secretive and will do whatever it takes to get out of eating and avoid calories. Also as he is still growing he needs all the vital nutrients. Maybe try 'If you don't eat your meal/drop it on the floor you wont be able to go out to play/see your friends. I don't want you to get poorly and faint'. And also let him know that you can see what he is doing and that you're not blind, make him know that you know what he is doing but not in an over bearing way because then the eating disorder will result to more secretive ways. Sit down and talk to him about his reasons for doing that and see if he will talk about it, although be prepared that he might not open up and it will take time. Remember to remind him that you are there to support him and you love him not matter what.

As for the cutting up food in to small pieces, I'm afraid I haven't got the answer as I still struggle with it myself. I hope this helped even just a little bit.

[0721 in reply to lattemilly]

Thank you for answering my questions Lattemilly.

He is 16 years old. He will be out of hospital soon.

When he came home for his short weekend, he was still eating his food the same style which is looking for fat in perfectly good chicken curry. When l say him there is no fat in there he gets cross and pushes his plate away. I can’t replace the food he is dropping. I have tried it and he refused to eat. I can’t force him much as he is almost 17 this May.

Also he doesn’t like to talk about the illness. He doesn’t like to talk about it. I can’t say it’s not you it’s your illness. He says no it’s me. I don’t think he separated the illness yet. But he knows he has got AN.

I am hoping this cutting habit will fade away during his recovery. Am l right?

[wisegai]

Hi,

Yes the whole 'hiding food' behaviour is incredibly common and something that I did much of! If he leaves food on the table or floor replace it, so make sure that you keep some leftovers in the kitchen because this way he knows that he won't be able to get away with it.

As for cutting up his food, my advice would be that you cut his food for him and then take away his knife. And make it very clear why you are doing it so that he looks to change

Hope that helps x

[crazycrossstitcher]

ED habits are extremely hard to break - and its takes a great deal of help and support so I do hope you are getting professional advice and you are all receiving support and counselling. My habits have gradually abated - but it has taken an effort and I had to challenge myself quiet hard - may be gentle encouragement over one small habit and a great deal of praise for achieving even the slightest change? ABC might have some good advice so do give them a call.

[0721 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Yes we have got some support. He is in the hospital at the moment. All I need is some advice from the people have got experience of ED.

Thank you so much for the advice.