ED s

[mysmugcat]

Hi I am new here.

Pretty fed up. Was anorexic and depressed at school. Still depressed, on meds and can overeat like tonight hate the nights.

[Agora1]

Hi mysmugcat, Welcome to HealthUnlocked ED forum. I am sorry for what you are going through. I only know about ED through my 27y.o. daughter. But there are many experts on this forum who I'm sure will be contacting you shortly. People who are going through the same thing you are. People who truly understand and care. My heart goes out to you dear.

Please watch for your replies. x

[crazycrossstitcher]

What a sad and lonely place you sound to be in - and I know the feeling about nights and the dread of the "food in the cupboard". Would you be able to talk to your GP about or a counsellor about your problems - you are not alone and GPs are much more informed about EDs - I know from experience they don't go away on their own - and they take control without you realising - I certainly thought I could get better myself - I was in control - but I wasn't - so do seek some help.

[mysmugcat]

Thank you both I am 44. I have had a lot of counselling by may have more. Sometimes I think you need a specialist. I appreciate your words.

[Agora1 in reply to mysmugcat]

Defintely mysmugcat, My daughter's doctors only monitor her blood tests. They don't have the time to spend with her. Depending where you live, there should be professionals available who specialize in EDs.

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Hi agora. I have never had any proper help either and the doctors really are a bit dense on the subject! Ive had anorexia since i was 9, now 42 . Told i was too young for help at 9, too ill for help at 21 ( weighed 4 stone 9 ) and now too old for help! Had 2 heart attacks thru low weight and oestioarthritis, raynauds disease and the list goes on. I just cant get my head around the fact that its no concern to them. Yet put an alcoholic in front of them and they are top priority. Yes they need help but so do we. Wish you all the luck in the world, i really do x

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

dinkyshell, that's so sad. Too young, too ill, too old?? You are absolutely correct, that there seems to be more help for the alcoholic. Really that was the way anxiety and depression were dealt with many years ago. People didn't talk about it so you either lived with it or were institutionalized. Now more and more is being said openly about mental disorders. EDs are a worldwide problem but they don't seem to be on the ball yet. I am so sorry that it's like this. I want to help my daughter but without her willing to, my hands are tied. I wish you well. x

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Its a hard one for not only the anorexic but also the people that care for them. It is very sad and i hope one day something is done to help anorexics and all other eating disorders. I have come to realize tho that i need to put up and shut up! I do however hope that ur daughter will get the help she needs and deserves. A lot of anorexia is physchological but noone is the same. What i do know tho is that it needs to be taken a lot more seriously than it is. We are not seeking attention like some people say, we are hurting badly and things got out of control. Your mind doesnt work properly when underweight. I wish your daughter all the best and hope she does get help. Please stick by her. I was locked in my bedroom with a 4 litre bottle of water, no food and dad said " when i come back in in 10 days you should be dead" please be kind and love your daughter, which im certain you do otherwise you wouldnt be on here. All the best

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Oh my goodness, how heartbreaking. My daughter was a foster child who came with a lot of baggage which I feel is attributing to her ED. I was told by my therapist that her problem is so deep that gives her some kind of control over her life. It is hard on me but am ashamed to complain, so I have therapy and working on getting over my agoraphobia and anxiety so I may be able to continue helping her. Thank you for sharing a painful part of your life. I may not know what it feels like but my heart goes out to you. x

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I'll tell you one thing for nothing, your daughter is very lucky to have you as her mum. God, ur not weak and it shows by your your words and how your getting help for your daughter. Im also aggraphobic , very lonely and lost. I live alone with my cat ( be lost without her ) but thats how i feel safe at the moment after my husband broke my back! Learnt to walk again but wont go out. Personally i have had an awful lot of abuse in my life and always blamed myself and fealt like crap for it, thought i deserved it. I didnt. Your daughter probably just needs needs to feel loved, be loved and know that she isnt in the way, she probably needs to feel like she belongs somewhere. I dont know how old your daughter is or how long she has been in your care and maybe just a sitdown with her and telling her you love her and that you're there for her may help. She may also be scared of moving foster carers again. I dont know or not being in the system when she turns 16. I really dont know, wish i was a mind reader and wave a magic wand for you both. You also need help for your aggraphobia. Its not nice panicking everytime you put ur coat on to go to the shop to get sum milk to just end up shaking so much and being physically sick at the thought of going out so convince yourself you love black tea!! Lol till ur online shop can get to you. Seriously tho, not nice for either of you, you both need help in your own right and deserve help, you included hun. As i said before i really hope you can get as much help as possible. Oh one thing i forgot to ask, does your daughters social worker know about this or ever mentioned that ur daughter is so thin? ( you havent said how thin she is so i presuming she looks too thin, if not i apologize) all the best and take care x

[mysmugcat in reply to Agora1]

Bless you I am also fostered and adopted.

[mysmugcat in reply to Hidden]

I am so sorry. I had neglect Hidden

[doggie2 in reply to Hidden]

That is just how I feel not much help for ED. I have had anorexia since the age of 19 now 56 and having a bad time at the moment.

[Hidden in reply to doggie2]

Hi. Yes its hard to be heard when you're past a certain age and also for males who have an eating disorder too, it is actually a lot harder for them to be taken seriously. On the bright side tho we are both still alive after over 30 yrs of it! Not a nice way to live at all tho. I wish you all the best. Dont give up tho and take care

[mysmugcat in reply to Hidden]

Tyvm wishing you the best.

[mysmugcat in reply to doggie2]

Sorry for my late reply. I'm sorry you are not feeling good. Pm me anytime.

[Hidden in reply to mysmugcat]

Hi im 42 and had anorexia since i was 9 and still struggling. I never go out because of past experiences etc. And im pretty much a loner at the mo but thats thru my choice, well it was! I drove people away. Is there any chance we could chat but not public?. If not i wish you all the best. Take care

[mysmugcat in reply to Hidden]

Yes great, ty