I have had anorexia for the past 13 years...

[Lau_12345]

I have had anorexia for the past 13 years... I first got it aged 15 (do not know how it started) and lost 3 st (9st to 6st) - over the past 10 years I have been around 7-8st. Last year I "re-lapsed" and went to 6st stone... At the moment I am just under 7st and I am trying to lose weight again...

The past 13 years, I have had no "life"... EVERYTHING has been taken over and controlled by this illness.

I don't have any friends. I don't enjoy anything (I have just been to Florida and hated it - everything was beyond my control and out of my routine)... I don't leave the house other than for work...

Work is a huge issue - constant stress and having to eat in front of people every day is an absolute nightmare...

I can't do anything on my days off as it is controlled around eating at certain times.

I rarely see my family.

I absolutely hate everything about myself.

I have been thinking more and more lately about ending my life because I handle the rest of my life being this way...

Does anyone else know some of what I am feeling? Is anyone's else's day like this?

My life is excatly the same every single day, certain meals @ certain times, constant worrying.

[Agora1]

My dear Lau, unfortunately I do understand what your life is like. Not personally but through my 26y.o. daughter. Everything you experience is the same for her. She has no life, no friends. Just hopes that it will be different tomorrow but she is unwilling to change. My heart breaks because it is such a sad and lonely life. My heart goes out to you. I'm glad that you reached out for support, if only my daughter would. I wish you all the best in turning this nightmare around. My love to you xx

[Lau_12345 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your reply... If your daughter ever wants to chat, I'd be happy too... I don't know anyone who is going thru this so it may help us both. Lau

[Agora1 in reply to Lau_12345]

How sweet of you Lau. I certainly will ask her. She doesn't know anyone either going through this. Stay strong dear. xx

[lori716]

It will get better, I promise!!! Try to keep busy and seek out the happy in you!!! Regiments are wonderful, but when they become problematic and stressful, one must gently reassess. Firstly get up and out of the house and do what you like to do!!! Interact!!! Play with a puppy, go to the park and listen to the birds sing or the toddlers splash around in the pool, volunteer. Interact!!! Don't shut yourself out of real day living!!! The eating disorder and there is usually an underlying cause. In my case, the more I got out,

[Hidden]

I know how you feel iv suffered with anorexia since being age 18 it's got gradually worse as the years have gone by, I'm 24 at end of this month and I'm now at the worst stages of the disorder, i now suffer from heart problems and I'm at risk now of being admitted but still I can't stop I just don't know how to 😞

[Lau_12345 in reply to Hidden]

Sorry for the late reply and thanks for your reply... Sorry to hear of your problems... I have osteoporosis at the aged of 28... Who knows what other damage has been done from 13 years! Please anytime you want to talk, I would be happy to listen - it's good to know it's not just me going through this (tho I wouldn't wish it on anyone) x

[rainey999]

I hear what you are saying, my daughter, 33 is exactly where you are. She has asked for inpatient treatment, but so far has been waiting for 9 weeks for a bed to become available.

Ask for help, you cannot do this alone but believe - you are a good person, you do deserve to have a life, your eating disorder is not your best friend - it won't be easy - but there is a life to live !! xx

[Lau_12345 in reply to rainey999]

There is so little help out there - I recently (after 13 years) went to some sort of "therapy/talking" and it was no help at all - all she did was make me talk about how rubbish my life was! Doctors don't really know what to do - I hope your daughter is okay x