I don't know what to do

I'm a 16 year old girl. Last year I lost a lot of weight leaving me underweight, I was taken to the doctors and nothing happened, because it was quick "weight loss", my gp wanted to work out my Bmi so she asked me my weight and I lied. I told her I was 6lbs heavier than I was. So nothing happened, so I continued restricting and obsessively exercising for another 2 months, then I started to eat more and I lost more weight. I decided that I should try and gain weight or recover to reassure my friends, and I put on so much weigh it was disgusting. This summer I bought my first pack of laxatives, and I guess it was one of the best things I've done, I hate the feeling of being full but most of all I hate the fat that covers my body. So September 2015 I decided I was going to do something about it. It's now Novemebr and I'm going crazy my mom took the batteries out of the scales and I'm freaking out I've weighed myself everyday for the past 3 months, in the last 4 weeks I had lost 10lbs and it's really stressing me out, I can't stand myself. Everyone around me, my family, believe it's self inflicted and I'm making problems for myself but I don't know what to do, I'm the problem and breaks me inside because I didn't choose this problem. I haven't eaten lunch at school properly for over two weeks because I just throw it out, I hate the feeling of being full or my clothes clinging to me. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm falling into an even worse place then last year. My friend says I'm sick and I need help but I'm scared, I feel like I'm not thin enough or ill enough to have an eating disorder, but I'm governed by endless rules in my head and consequences, and I don't want to lose control.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

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Hi Heather9 Just read your post, wow you have a lot going on. Start with your GP, get a physical and ask for a referral to a counselor / therapist to discuss your concerns on body image. It can help getting a different perspective on your concerns. Definitely talk to your School counsellor, they might be able to help? People can only help if they are aware that you are struggling. Chin up! You can go on the recovery road! Give yourself a goal, eg: "when I'm 17 I will look back at this time as a 'near miss/close call' as I will be in control of All of my thoughts and subsequent actions."

Your friends sound lovely and caring, so does your family too, theyll help you, but you have to be completely honest with them.

Please, please start getting help now.

[ABC- Partner Talk ED]

Dear Heather,

It is hard when not eating well to think rationally about your weight and size.

I would encourage you to think about your health and get some emotional and physical support as soon as possible. Chest pains, fatigue, depression, fainting and low mood are often associated symptoms with disordered eating. As the other reply suggests it is very important to receive medical monitoring by your GP to ensure you health is protected.

I would also recommend a little pocket book of ours called "First Steps out of Eating Disorders" by Dr Kate Middleton and Jane Smith, published by Lion Hudson which will help you consider a number of things from the wealth of input from those who have recovered from eating disorders. You can find it on the 'shop' accessed via the home page of our website

anorexiabulimiacare.org.uk.

At ABC we provide support via email or telephone , and our lines are open from Mon-Fri 9-5pm on 03000 11 12 13 so please free to call us if you need extra support or guidance.