Hello ... Hello ... Hello ....
Is there anybody out there????
Since the format of the site changed over everyone seems to have gone really quiet.
I know I'm not posting much at the moment but I do call in regularly and it really helps to know you're all out there.
So this is a shout out ~ if you log in can you please stop by to say "Hi" ~ just so we know we're still here.
Really hope everyone is ok.
Love,
Lizard.xxx
Hi
Yes, I'm still here. I agree the site has been quite quiet. Is that because it is the holiday season or the effect of the hot weather.
I seem to be in the depths of despair but that's more to do with surrounding issues rather than my eating disorder. It is hard not to give into the temptations of the ED though. I feel useless and worthless - possibly the outcomes of failing sight and chronic pain.
I just want out at the moment but I have a loving family so I wouldn't go through with such thoughts.
Where is the church when you need them?
How
Hi Annie,
Lovely to hear from you.
I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a difficult time. Do you have support? Have you had counselling to deal with your failing vision? That sounds like something huge that you should be supported through.
My depression is quite bad at the moment too. Life doesn't seem worth living. I cannot see a positive way out of my circumstances and I'm totally overwhelmed.
I have been to the doctor who is monitoring me and talking about involving the Crisis Team which I don't want as I'm trying hard to hold on to my job. I'm so much better there than at home.
Ironically my bulimia is dormant at the moment. I'm eating very badly, no meals just loads of junk but apart from that I'm not too bad. I don't think I have the energy to be bulimic at the moment.
I don't know what the answer is. I laughed when I read your comment about church. I've had exactly the same thoughts about mine. I can't really blame them. They have never known I was ill. I've never known how to join the church as a community, even though that is what I want more than anything. I just turn up for the service and slink away afterwards. Today I didn't even do that. I haven't been for two weeks. Church makes me feel such a failure and I couldn't cope with anything else.
Hope you're ok.
Love,
Lizard.xxx
Hi Lizard,
Sorry about the delay in my response - I haven't had much private access to the computer so didn't want to read sensitive stuff.
Your words have helped. It is comforting to realise that I'm not alone either in my depression and in thoughts/feelings about the church.
I haven't told many people about my anorexia but it is probably fairly obvious. I find so many of the activities involve food in some way. As so many people in my church are overweight I find seeing them eat triggering. Also I think most people are fearful about saying the wrong thing so they just don't feel able to come and talk with me. Then I can't go out safely and I don't want to ask others to put themselves out and fetch me.
I think you are right. Being at work is much better than languishing at home. I wish you all the best with that.
with my best wishes
Annie
hi i am here, hate counselling i am only going because my family wanted me to, at this moment in time i don't want to recover from bulimia
Hi Piglet11, unfortunately you can only recover if you want to - no matter how much everyone else wants you to get better. I know I was there but after a month I hit the pace I needed to, to realise that I wanted to get better how ever you have taken the first step in the fact that you are saying that you don't want to recover from bulimia, I couldn't even say anorexia until a few weeks ago and I've been in recovery since December!
I hope you get better soon
Take care
Tori xx
Hi, I've only been on this site a little while and I'm totally lost with it! I can't seem to read posts and questions!
Hope everyone is doing okay!
Tori x
Binge Eating Disorder. 
Being stuck in foreign body ..
Dying
Anorexia Nervosa-My JourneyTo Recovery