First post

[isla123]

I have been pondering whether or not to join a page like this for a long time but I really want to change and who knows, this could help. I am bulimic. It feels weird saying that as I don't like to even admit it to myself. I have been for over two and a half years now. My family do not know, I don't feel I could ever tell them, I couldn't risk breaking my grandmothers heart if she ever found out. My sisters get angry because they say I am like a closed book but I fear If I started talking about my feelings then the despair I feel would just overwhelm me. I am self destructive, erratic and anxious. I really want to start recovering, I want to be around food and not have my mind going at a million miles an hour, I just want to feel at peace with myself. I want to be better. I am bulimic, and I am so tired of it.

[Hidden]

I'm glad that you felt able to write this post. I agree it is hard to admit an eating disorder even to ourselves. It is even harder to say to others.

Do you feel able to talk with your GP to see whether professional help would assist you? If you don't feel able to do that at this stage then Anorexia Bulimia Care produce a number of helpful booklets as well as there being a sufferers' phone line.

You aren't on your own. I can identify with what you are saying. There are many of us joining you on the journey to recovery. It isn't easy but it is possible.

I'm thinking and praying for you

[isla123]

I have been once last year, to be fully honest with you the GP I seen was really unhelpful. She was completely insensitive and made me feel as if I were being judged for having this struggle. I would like to go back and see another GP but I'm just scared the same thing happens again. My now ex boyfriend was the one who got me to go last year, maybe it was because I wasn't ready and couldn't fully open up to my problem that it didn't go well but it's really phased me, it's such a big thing for me to open up about my feelings in general, so telling the GP again, frightens the life out of me. Have you used the helpline and if so did you find it helpful? Thank you so much for responding to me, it is really nice to know I am not alone in this.