💬 Discussion Topic: Are your mental health needs being met by your clinician or healthcare provider?

[AnnaHU]

Have been to a clinician or healthcare provider for mental health support? What need(s) do you feel were not met during this visit? We would like to understand your experience if you feel comfortable sharing.

[Bassetmommer]

Absolutely not. As I headed towards dialysis, which in itself is terrifying, I was met with a nonchalant attitude from my Nephrologist. She even said that it was something that some people prefer over transplant. I cannot imagine that being the choice. When I spoke with the company before I went into dialysis, they made it sound so easy and almost pleasant instead of really saying the truth about the commitment, the impact on your life and your family.

I think that for those who head into a lifelong treatment, such as dialysis, that mental health needs to be addressed much better.

[focused1 in reply to Bassetmommer]

Thanks for this Bassetmommer as what you have written is exactly how my friend and some of the patients she has met along her long journey have said . It isn't reassuring to say ' you are not on your own ' as nothing seems to change . I appreciate you selflessly mentioning family as we sometimes feel helpless and feel we need support too which is thin on the ground . You are spot on with your observations about mental health and the reverse of this is that when you are mentally ill then physical symptoms can be overlooked too . My sister who still sees a psychiatrist bi annually went to her GP with stomach pains which were virtually ignored until an emergency ambulance had to be booked resulting in a lengthy hospital stay , a stoma fitted and 14 weeks in a neuro centre learning how to walk and coordinate daily tasks following a multitude of other issues including an induced coma following sepsis .

Her consultant praised her determination as though she was patting a dog on the head and suggested that the worst was over . Over - with a stoma ? I really don't think so .

[LaceyLady]

The past 4 years of unexpected health issues and the negligent death of my autistic/ mentally ill brother last year in hospital’ are’ has taken a lot from me mentally. Looking for help from NHS would be a waste of time and I’d still be waiting. I’ve been paying to see a counsellor since 2021.

[LaceyLady in reply to LaceyLady]

As a Complementary Therapist of 26 yrs I CARED for my patients deeply. We are discredited and mocked by the so called medical experts, sadly I have never met any who I felt care from, it is the society we live in. I feel at 66 they just want us to go away and drop off.

[focused1 in reply to LaceyLady]

I can't fault the NHS when you actually get the treatment but the waiting lists are unacceptable not just for the wait but how ill you are when you get the appointment and the staff then have to pick up the pieces of very complex issues . Sadly many won't stay with the NHS and that career for life seems much better in another country where you are paid more or even some nursing homes pay better wages for qualified nurses as my friends daughter only stuck it out 10 months after qualifying on an NHS ward before moving away for better pay and hours in a nursing home with perks and no travel / paying to park .

[Teaching]

My answer is No. I have my therapist to talk to about the way I feel only during our sessions. I cherish some of the advice I get from her but other than that, nothing else is done for me. I research and do some of the things to help myself.

[CashMoney in reply to Teaching]

I agree- w/o my therapist on a weekly, I'd be really WHACKED- my therapist does more for me than my psychiatrist (who is only good for med refills). It's my therapist who listens to the poor pitiful me, week after week- my ups, my downs, the few joyous times I experience,+ the never ending search for that glorious, happy magical answer that will cure my emotions, giving me peace+happiness. Yeah, hats off to those who deserve the BIG PAY- the THERAPISTS. Thank God for them, to be sure!🙏👍

[focused1 in reply to CashMoney]

I found having to pay for a therapist a real insult after the hash of things my sister endured and the private therapists in our area earn a generous hourly rate . I think they only say what you want to hear and mirror the advice given to my sister by her friends but she will listen more to someone she pays £49 an hour for .

[LaceyLady in reply to focused1]

Therapists have to pay for their own training. As A Complementary Therapist ie several different modalities, I paid a lot and had to take exams which I needed to get a good pass. How much per hour would you work for ? I never recouped the costs of my self funded training. Counsellors do not give you answers but help you to find your answers. Also this therapists have costs, electric, gas etc etc

[focused1 in reply to LaceyLady]

Anyone who goes to University arguably pays for their pathway into work as many employers only advertise for graduates and working from home isn’t really factored into any salary as the advantage is zero travel costs and time but I would gladly work for £49 per hour which would cover my costs generously working a 4 hour day . I realise like many valued jobs you have to train but most adults don’t get any free courses or training anymore .

[LaceyLady in reply to focused1]

You object to paying £49 an hour for a therapist, if you went to a private dr or consultant you’d pay double or treble that for only 30 minutes if you’re lucky.

[focused1 in reply to LaceyLady]

I couldn't afford any of them . I had to wait 17 months for NHS - deemed urgent surgery as haven't the spare cash . I feel that I had a tough upbringing that may heavily influence my thoughts about paying for therapeutic help . Its always good to have choice if you have the money though. I believe a Dr and a consultant trains intensely for many years so I can understand their charges .

[LaceyLady in reply to focused1]

So did I, we didn’t have money either. Cost me a lot of money and time, hard work to study for my therapies while bringing up my kids single handed. Not all therapists are lacking in qualifications.

I look at it as ‘how much is your time worth’ before judging another’s fees.

[DandyButch]

Following hashimoto's hypothyroidism diagnosis and standard NICE guidelines treatment, which did not work for me, in fact made my health deteriorate, and after many, many visits to GP, I eventually self-referred to local mental health team. A few months later, while still on the waiting list, I felt so desperate, I attempted to take my own life and ended up in hospital for two weeks. Even the hospital were less than understanding about my health deterioration and consequent despair.

Cut a long story short, it took 17 months before I was given talking therapy.

Whilst this is aimed at the mental health of the patient and the need for the patient to proactively improve their own mental health, there is no correlation between mental health and physical health. The two are not considered to be directly related. This is absurd.

After 3 years, I am still not fully, adequately, medicated for my hashimoto's hypothyroidism,

having to wait many months between endocrinology appointments and medication adjustments. I have found this forum to be excellent in supporting me. My mental health, and physical health are still not good, however, they are very, very, very slowly improving.

The mental health section of the NHS, like many other departments, is inadequate for demand. This, in itself, causes deeper and longer recovery. This is compounded by the government, making the decision to get people who are sick due to disability or depression back to work. If only!!! They haven't got a clue, but by this action they could exacerbate the already debilitating illness. Been there, done that.

Like every medical issue, the quicker treatment is given, the better the recovery and outcome.

It is a shame the NHS and government are ultimately only interested in cost management.

[CashMoney in reply to DandyButch]

I'm sorry to hear of ur desperation+ur attempt on ur life ...I'm glad u were not successful. I, too, know the pain, desperation and the false belief that if only someone would LISTEN. Ididn't have ANYONE-PERIOD- not to listen, not to spend time with- I was stuck w/me myself+I, + I didn't like it...still don't. Uc,I'm a "caretaker", so to speak. Started when I was in the 3rd grade+my mother got sick. Since she had written off her family+ran off her then husband, I was her only option. So id stay home from school+take care of mom, on her sick days(epilepsy -grandmal seizures where she fitted /flopped around so bad, she would end up w/a bleeding deep cut somewhere on her body (usually her face). But best I recall, that's when it all began- me, always taking care of others, their needs, their wants. ( OmG!!! I've just had a HUGE revelation, why I always think that bending over backwards for someone will make them love me!!!! Wow....) Anyway, at 57 years old, w/3 suicide attempts(1 of those 3 being a successful doa, of which they brought me back after some mins of being dead- 95% chance of never waking up- in a comma, on life support- my blood sugars so out of wack (zyprexa+neurontin of) they said if I did wake up, I'd be a complete, paralyzed vegetable. Now, can u explain to me, how, by using my own personal example that my mental state at that time(wanting to die, causing me to purposely od), had nothing to do w/my physical health ,( being in a coma, w/ no chance of survival)? Now I'm under of what the NHS is, cuz I reside in the States. But here we have DFS- DIVISION OF FAMILY SUPPORT. Believe me, I am not siding w/them, but I do want to state that they deal w/literally 100s of thousands of people A DAY, across our country. I'll bet collective ely, MILLIONS, on a daily basis. DFS is some of the 1st in line when it comes to cutting state aid+jobs here, leaving a ratio of 1caseworker, per 100-125 cases. Yeah, +TONS of paperwork. As mental health patients, we want ACTION, +we want it RIGHT NOW-directly afterwards, we want RESULTS THAT WILL BE A MAGICAL PERSONAL PERM FIX/SOLUTION-+we don't want to be slapped/a big bill for it either. The system over here sucks-alot of times, LIFE SUCKS. got to try to find balance -geez, I wish I could listen to my own advice. Hope ur getting it all taken care of. Tomorrow is a new day, +this is YOUR life. U decide-cuz everyone else will only mess you up, worse than you do! God bless~LL

[DandyButch in reply to CashMoney]

Hi CashMoney, your story sounds so difficult and yes, whilst the NHS is dire, even more so now, I am glad we do not have the USA health service. Seems to me it is only for those with employment health insurance, or wealthy people. We are in the 21st century for goodness sake. Where has human compassion gone?I too cared for my mother when she was older. The last four years she was paralysed from the neck down following a neck operation which damaged nerves. She was alright in the head thankfully. I cared for her at home, and whilst she was in hospital!!!! Hospital care sucks here. As does the hospital food.

Obviously I had to do everything for her 24/7. Yes it was extremely hard work, especially as I was in my late 50s at the time.

No-one understands how hard it is unless they have done it themselves for longer than 2 weeks.

I'm sorry to learn of your attempts on your life, but I understand how low one can go. I agree that I wish I had someone who would help me. I do have my family, who have been good, but it is difficult for them to understand and impossible to share the bad thoughts with them.

I hope you are able to listen to your own advice. Write it down, and read it often. Only think of positive things. Chuck out the negatives. Try to do something nice for yourself each day.

Best wishes from across the pond. Xx

[curly-quavers]

I dont get help from anyone. Doctors dont do anything, just give you the meds then move on to the next person. Apart from Mind who are always full when you try get appointments I dont know of anyone else that supports you. That is why I was looking for help before on line and health unlocked came up. I have been here for over a year and do get some things off my chest, which does help. Since the depression, I have now anxiety and panic attacks, so my meds were changed over 6 months ago and I have adjusted them to what helps the most. Because things were left too long it seems I am stuck like this just plodding along from day to day, not thinking too much of the past nor the future. So no help and nobody in the health system cares.🙄🤪

[focused1 in reply to curly-quavers]

The only thing that helps my sister is to keep active and busy . It is still a huge effort for her to attend anything . Luckily now aged 70 she doesn't have the stress of her younger - get back to work issues . It wasn't just the get back to work but the sheer lack of support . No one understood her anxiety of travelling to a job , being eased sensibly into 1 hour then 2 hours work instead of unrealistically expect someone trying to attempt couch to 5k overnight .

Government needs support workers - not to hold hands but fully support a get back to work programme with transport, help and not an instant get off benefits threat then it takes months to reapply then your courage is back to zero and your mentally health is sky high awful as you are in debt as your reward . I feel if you are occupied and being valued with a wage you feel more 'normal ' , accepted by society and there is that encouragement that you are getting back to the life you want but I can't see a harsh brutal regime helping anyone.

[faucet]

I would say no, but not for lack of trying. I have had TRD/anxiety since 2016 and have tried 17 different medications, CBT, Psychotherapy and TMS. I have had very little relief from all of the efforts. The anxiety is somewhat controllable with Adavan but that wears off after a while and Doctors don't like prescribing higher doses. I just don't think the answer is there yet for most with TRD. There are Mushrooms and Ketamine but they are not legally available in most places yet. I keep hoping there will be a breakthrough in the future for all who suffer from this terrible illness.

[Kit10]

No.

And, as Faucet said, not for want of trying. I have had the run-around, everyone refers me on to someone else. Sometimes they do an assessment first. I have been assessed to death. The only place the buck stops is with me.

When I woke up in Intensive Care, traumatised, someone to talk to about it was one of the first things I asked for. Nearly 3 years later I'm still waiting.

People say things about - "asking for help is the hardest part." That's not true. Asking is easy, it's getting it that's hard, nearly impossible.

I'll stick to talking to my 🧸!

[Adlon57]

No! As I am now officially termed "terminally ill" I am practically put on a 'shelf', my mental health has never been dealt with, probably due to being in Northern Ireland, where the NHS is on permanent backshelf mode, remember Politics first, health practically an after thought! Over my life I have always been put into looking my physical health, due to my colourful medical history! I live/survive on my own have done for twenty years, but NEVER been asked how my various health conditions, could affect me mentally? Too late for me but always feel someone in a 'similar' position could be much better provided for, good luck in this province you will need as much as possible!👍

[Adlon57 in reply to Adlon57]

I am getting near the end now, developed a urinary infection from Jardiance [for high sugar in my liver] also getting PSA checked by an embarrassing east European nurse in my local health centre, by the time I get through to 'particular' authorities, if I ever do, bladder gone to hell now, IF I HAD EVER BEEN CHECKED IN THE FIRST PLACE, MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY😤😤 its been like that my whole life [I hate this stupid little province, never fitted in anywhere] no aftercare, except a bright light, this local health centre, but the rotten health system in Northern Ireland, rotten to the core! Maybe I am the exception, but probably by new year, just another forgotten figure, my whole life a complete waste of time!

[LaceyLady in reply to Adlon57]

I am sorry to read your experiences Adlon57 ❤️‍🩹 Sending you healing from Berkshire. And hugs 💗

[Adlon57 in reply to LaceyLady]

Thanks LaceyLady just had good news about my PC put off check now for every 6 months, diabetes suspect going that way, BUT my £500 winter 'bonus' sent to my defunct account [three years ago?🙄😒] this place??😤😤🤐

[LaceyLady in reply to Adlon57]

You can help yourself to not get dire betes as bad by eating low carb & higher protein. I gain this ailment 6-7 wks after covid booster😡 I’m now borderline by controlling carbs and 1 pill.

Did you get the money? 🤞🏻

[Adlon57 in reply to LaceyLady]

I formed my own diet, qualified cook, my PC was misdiagnosed due to a very rare condition Schwannomatosis NF3 benign tumours near the prostate gland, I am now back on metformin for diabetes 2, if I lose a few pounds [1 stone](am lowest in seven years🤗) I should be okay? Sorted out winter bonus [very long winded😤] Still terminal with broken skull and rib cage structure, cannot do anything about that?🥴

[LaceyLady in reply to Adlon57]

💗🙏🏼

I’m a healer and Complementary Therapist 26yrs, I use strong Neodymium magnets to help the body repair itself. LOT of good results with husband and my own body ailments. But cancer I think can damage bone renewal. But never say never 👊🏻

[Adlon57 in reply to LaceyLady]

My brother in law and myself both recently had brushes with PC, he is on the 1 year inspection, I'm on 6 months, but I've learnt never be too optimistic with cancer 👌

[Adlon57 in reply to LaceyLady]

Another phase done, a book, true crime, which I have been writing since 2009, finally came to an end, found a wee bit of relevant information, which nicely blends both the main characters, the "gruesome twosome", nothing worth watching as usual over Xmas, so doing something useful, [occasional film, and making a pig of myself], hopefully ready for new year for my ghost-writer to inspect👌

[FrenchRonin]

My needs weren’t met by my GP especially after my burnout which is why once we had that same understanding that it wasn’t working and that the help he could provide me with hypnotics and anti anxiety medicine wasn’t really appropriate, I asked, and he provided a referral with a brief history so I could be covered by insurance (and social security) once I found a psychiatrist that was more familiar with my specific issues and after a few calls to choose the right practitioner for me it went well.

The only non mental health specialists provider I got that were a satisfying choice for my mental health issues were the youth medical center I went to way younger as they have an integrated service with different physical and mental health specialities available for different issues younger patients could have from DV, runaway and homeless teens, sexual health and so on.

[focused1]

My mental health issues have been mainly triggered by my sister being seriously mentally ill and learning that the only way to get attention is to overdose x 3 this year - then this gets her a bed in a psychiatric ward . Whilst she is in I feel calmer and weirdly safe . She isn't rushed out but when at home she feels isolated and the promised aftercare / home visits are great but only last about 10 days due to staff shortages then I am recorded as her next of kin . I have never been given any support or invited to any meetings . I acknowledge that confidentiality has to be accounted for but that amazingly goes out of the door when I get 24/7 phone calls asking if I have a key for her house or can I bring her daily items to the ward. I feel that staff being able to communicate with carers and almost insisting that the next of kin knows what they are dealing with would help us all . I have been offered sleeping tablets but I have to work and drive into work without being drowsy . I am now being encouraged to move house , sell up , go to a cheaper coastal area and enjoy a retirement or part time work on the money left but her unpredictable behaviour makes me feel tense , trapped . It isn't just about the patient but the people picking up the pieces .

[Hidden]

No. All of my doctors, GPs and consultants are only interested in the physical side of my health. I had 12 wks hospitalisation this year and two pleurodesis which I found out later I was not expected to survive. Nobody has spoken to me at all about the feelings that this has left me with. Finally, after 72 years of being on top of my condition it is worsening now. All my medics say to me is ' you do realise this is the home straight now'. I believe that they do not know what to say because they have no training in it but nobody has given access to someone who can support me. For the first time in my life I am worn out with the struggle have no confidence, am in constant pain as a result of the hospitalisation and frightenef about the future. All on my own

[BarrySimpson]

No, but I do not think there is much that could help in my case. In January 2013 I had an accident causing a spinal injury, paralysis from the base of my neck down, spasticity (muscle contractions and spasms) and double incontinence. I feel that medical practitioners are probably aware that my mental damage is almost as bad as the physical damage but can not do anything about either. I feel that mental counselling would only be useful in cases where there is a more hopeful way of looking at the situation than has been seen by the patient. In my case there isn't. No one has a clue how to repair spinal injuries and I have no chance of getting better.

[MimiSpree in reply to BarrySimpson]

You can text me anytime you need a caring ear. I don't have any advice or answers, but I recognize the need to be acknowledged and understood by a caring listener. You are an articulate writer, so I'm sure you have much to share. I wish life didn't have to be so freaking hard!

[BarrySimpson in reply to MimiSpree]

Thank you. Barry.

[lowtech]

NO in my experience - it's just medication, or a second-rate NHS one-size-fits-all counselling service which follows a tick-box analysis. Every mental health situation differs in its background and triggers and, often, much deeper inner-work is just not available.

[Adlon57 in reply to lowtech]

Exactly the same, "give them a couple of pain killers!", mental side🤐

[MimiSpree]

How sad that most of us answer "No!" to this question. Especially since we are bombarded with commercials and news stories about how concerned we are as a society about mental health. But God forbid if you need mental health care, finding something affordable. I think mental health counseling should be provided for anyone on disability. I know I need it, but living on $1,100 a month doesn't allow for such a luxury.

My personal experiences have had one "well-meaning" commonality: They all assume I struggle with impending my death. I don't. I struggle with adapting to the changes, or illness upgrades I like to call them, in my day-to-day life. It's the bread and butter of getting through a day with deteriorating recall, mobility, and anxiety depression with which I need help.

[LaceyLady]

just a reminder there is The Samaritans who you can talk to, hopefully 💗🙏🏼

[mrskiki]

On diagnosis with hypothyroidism one symptom I asked about was the recent increased anxiety and stress, however gp told me I was wrong, that was only with hyperthyroidism. So it’s basically ignored.

[jokeja]

no my sons mental health was a problem before his brain injury and now they say he don’t have mental health issues but he is always telling me he would have rather died than have to deal with all these problems he has now got after the brain injury, he is 24 and was 20 at the time of his brain injury which was caused by a fall/jump from a fourth floor window. He lives now in an elderly care home, as there is no where in Portsmouth for him to go. All the support he had in rehab is gone he is now physically and mentally disabled.

[ltyrrell]

No not at all , I think there is a better understanding of mental health these days but not enough trained professionals to help them . I feel very let down by mental health services

[Blueshirt]

I am in the UK. Mental healthcare support is close to being second to none; so close in fact that it seems like none. When I first tried suicide in 1994 I got pretty good support that saved my life. It remained good until about 2010. Since then I have given up wasting my doctor's time. I will be dead soon so will be one less NHS patient

[Hidden]

No

The GP made a referral to psychiatry in April 2022 . I got a letter saying to call cmht if needed. I did, once. The person I spoke with spent a long time looking for the , told me I’d been referred to a Dr but I could chat with her and call any time I want a chat.

I don’t want to chat.

I pay for private therapy. All that’s available in the trust is 6 cbt sessions. That’s not appropriate for complex trauma.

The reason for the referral is that my GP tried various antidepressants with me without improvement and said he couldn’t change me into any other ones without a psychiatrist doing the prescription.

Then I got epilepsy. Which has been awful. Which has been traumatic and resulted in numerous emergency hospital admissions. The last one happened when my previous therapist called an ambulance and I had 12 tonic clonic seizures in her office. She cared for me in the hours awaiting an ambulance . She’s my previous therapist now because it felt so traumatic to go back to her office

I now see a different private therapist . She is brilliant, too and I hope history doesn’t repeat where my flee response goes into overdrive, should a similar situation arise re epilepsy.

I had 2 psych assessments one in the neurology ward (I have no memory of it ) and one was organised immediately by my neurologist. I was diagnosed with post ictal psychosis which is awful.

I know this is a bit /very jumbled and long.

It’s really sad to see such a lot of other people’s experiences of not being helped, too.

[Charlysangel]

definitely not. I was forcibly put on Venlaflaxine and now cannot wean off the drug without terrible debilitating side effects. Staying on the drug slowed cognition and movement down and coming off the drug according to Dr’s guidelines placed me in Hospital and damaged my CNS. All this time I’m told by my psychiatrist to not come off the drug or that I’ll relapse.

Whenever I call or email the psychiatrist he never responds. I only get to see him every 3 months and feel he doesn’t really understand my needs. I also feel misdiagnosed in the first place .

Peri menopause went very wrong and was very traumatic.