Home birth, whats your views and how have your partners reacted to your plans?

[belle143]

Im currently 37weeks and just booked for a home birth. My son was born early and i had a very stressful monitored birth with him which wasn't what i wanted or had planned but was needed at the time to make sure he was ok and well. The only problem is my new partner is getting really upset as he feels you shouldn't have babies outside of a hospital! and hes making it very difficult for me. Has anyone else thought about the birth and also how has your partner reacted?

[Hidden]

I can't have a home birth because of complications in my pregnancies so I would rather be at hosp because of this...but hospital can be quite clinical for a lot of people so having it at home in your familiar environment must be nice just not for me, I have a hectic household so that time in hospital with just the baby is good bonding time for me

[Hidden]

You have to do what makes you happy it's an important time and you have experienced a hospital birth so you know you def want a home birth so stick with it, you can always go to hosp if the midwives are concerned at all, they are with you every step of the way, hope he comes round for you! X

[belle143 in reply to Hidden]

seems to have come round, i think hes worried about a problem happening where i'm worried about the actual birth! just a case of waiting for baby now i guess!.

[Hidden]

You have to do what makes you happy it's an important time and you have experienced a hospital birth so you know you def want a home birth so stick with it, you can always go to hosp if the midwives are concerned at all, they are with you every step of the way, hope he comes round for you! X

[Hidden]

Don't know why that has copied it so many times sorry!

[Blue321]

Dear Belle, I congratulate you on choosing a setting that you feel will make you safe and comfortable for your birth. Birth is a natural process that every mammal on earth does and if you are having a healthy and normal pregnancy there is no reason that you cannot have a successful birth at home. You will greatly benefit from a partner who supports you and has no doubt and every confidence in you and your choices. You will greatly benefit from their support on the day. In fact, it could be a deciding factor.

Should everything be ok, I'll be having my boy at home. I feel safe at home, only four streets away from the maternity hospital. Every mammal has the ability to slow or stop the birth if frightened, I feel this is less likely to happen if I am at home. All being well, my close friends (a doula and a midwife) will be there to assist me and my man and the midwives.

My lovely man was really scared by the idea at first. Why can't we be normal? he said. He was scared about what can go wrong and felt comforted by all the technology at the hospital. I said we have plenty of time to decide and that his views were very important. I said even if we went through with the home birth idea, we could change our minds any time. I emailed him some carefully chosen info, in little chunks, some sites, some relevant statistics and left books lying around, sometimes with the page open. I joked that I just envisaged the tea and toast he would make me in our kitchen afterwards. I said that he would have a better, more useful role at home because he knew where everything was like towels etc. We had dinner with some people he likes very much who birthed their second baby at home. They brought it up and in a lovely way. So, go figure, he's coming round to the idea, realising the most important thing is him and me and a healthy baby and the most statistically significant route to do this without intervention is by staying at home, even though most people do go to hospital.

[belle143 in reply to Blue321]

Thank you for sharing your experience of trying to get your partner to think about the home birth, i did try last night with things i have found and he has started to see it may be ok! bless i love that he just wants everything right and if theres a problem at hospital it can be sorted straight away. so he has accepted defeat in a way and has started to help prep the rooms!

[Blue321 in reply to belle143]

No worries! some people are really good if they have tasks - gives you two a chance to talk about issues too - there's a one off documentary on ITV on Thurs night about home birthing x ps partner's still uncomfortable with it, but he'll come round I'm sure xx

[Taylorsmummy]

Hey, just wanted to add, I've had 2 home births, my first wasn't planned but I was dealing with things well so I put off going to hospital and in the end it was too late, the midwives came and told me I was fully dilated. It was more relaxed than I expect a hospital birth to be (never had one though so I'm just guessing!!) and it was lovely to get in my own bed after and settle down with baby.

Second time home birth was planned but again I was coping ok and left it too late to call their midwife so me and hubby did it with the help of a 999 operator.

I would say its important to do it wherever you feel more comfortable. The more relaxed you are hopefully the easier the birth should be. If there's no medical reason why you shouldn't then go for it. It's a lovely experience xx

[belle143 in reply to Taylorsmummy]

thank you, my sister in law had 2 of her 3 at home and said it was so much more relaxed, i had such a rushed labour with my first, with no information and no birth plan that i'm wanting to relax this time around! i am also very open minded if i need hospital then im there! just hoping it will be nice and straight forward.

Very impressed hubby and you delivered baby no 2! might not mention this to mine tho!

[Blue321 in reply to Taylorsmummy]

Hope that's me too!!! xx

[Taylorsmummy]

Also the midwives are very good and at the first sign that things aren't going to plan they will whisk you away to hospital, x

[ritz21]

I am contemplating that too. My husband seem to have no problem about it as my mom in law delivered all of her 3 babies at home - so my husband thinks its pretty natural.

I was lately not very happy with the idea of lying down and delivering - as I think that is very un-natural.

[belle143 in reply to ritz21]

yes me too i want to try out different positions and try to use gravity to help! i spoke to my homebirth team and we are going to try to stay upright or at least kneel just been recommended to plastic sheet the floor!

[Emilylouise-]

Hi I had one of my baby's at home best thing I ever did I was so relaxed and comfortable

I have very quick labour do it just felt right I'm planning to have baby number 5 at home as long as the consultant doesn't find a reason that I can't my oh was the same he was worried too but after our son was born he said it was easier and he noticed I was a lot more calmer whilst giving birth