Some background I’m 39 with epilepsy. After 2 rounds of ivf we got a bfp and currently 10 weeks. Since we’ve told my in-laws they have gone on about private maternity care as my DH sisters both went private, over 16 years ago and it wasn’t as expensive then. I feel it would be a waste as you have your baby in nhs anyway and we used a lot of our savings on ivf and any we have will be needed for after the birth. My own family haven’t questioned private care none of my siblings had and all the children were healthy.
However, I did have a problem with seeing a midwife in the community. She appointment was stopped while I was there as I’m hoping to give birth in a different trust due to them having a specialist antenatal clinic for people with epilepsy. I think because of epilepsy and ivf it’s a high risk pregnancy though I’ve been fine so far 🤞My MIL continues to talk about private care and I keep telling her it’s the same doctors you see in the nhs as in private. Her main thing is that you have a doctor at delivery and appointments. If you’re high risk would you not have a doctor at delivery and see dr at appointments anyway? What are your thoughts?
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Babytwinkle
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Hi,I was high risk pregnancy, for different reasons.
I didn’t go private.
But I didn’t have doctors at appointments. Nor did I have a doctor there for delivery - but they were around when I needed one in an emergency situation. But I had to wait until they were ready before they could access me to determine it was an emergency situation.
Would I consider going private next time… No I don’t think so. My baby entered the world safely and is perfect.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I didn’t know that they weren’t present at appointments. I was against it but I’ve not had my booking appointment as I was sent away so will have to wait to see
I’m currently pregnant with my second ivf miracle and this time around I decided to hire a private midwife. I had an positive birth experience in my NHS hospital with my daughter in 2020 but I didn’t have the best experience with my antenatal/postnatal care, mostly due to covid but I found that nothing had really improved this time (my 16 week appointment took 8 minutes from walking in the door to walking out).
I decided after that appointment to look into a private midwife and honestly it’s been worth every penny. She’s amazing, comes to my house for all my appointments and spends an hour or two with me, I feel so much more empowered this time around having her support and guidance. I will be giving birth in the same hospital as I had my daughter, under NHS care, my midwife I’ve just booked for antenatal and postnatal support xx
You will be consultant led rather than midwife led, so aside from your normal anti natal appointments you should see a consultant at some point. I’ve been fortunate that all my pregnancies have been low risk, but my first birth was an induction so consultants were around to assist if needed. With my 3rd baby, even though my delivery went smoothly, i did run into complications and my goodness they were so on it. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, no matter what the issue the nhs can be absolutely fantastic. I can’t fault any of the care I received in all 3 of my pregnancies.
What you describe with regards to your booking appointment is similar here. My town is located within equal distance of 2 hospitals, the community midwives are based at one, but if you choose the other hospital for delivery then you get sent there for your anti natal care x
I have had two high risk pregnancies and both were delivered through my local NHS hospital, both my babies are here and healthy. My births were relatively uncomplicated and I felt very well looked after! I don't think there is any need to "go private" unless you had a lot of disposible income! X
Thank you all for sharing and taking the time to respond. You’ve reassured me in that going with the nhs is the right thing to do and there’s no need for private care.
I had a high risk pregnancy so was scanned and had consultant appointment every 4 weeks after my 20 week scan. Apart from the waiting around for the appointment well past the scheduled time I have to say their care was excellent on the nhs BUT the community midwives were rubbish so I’m glad I went consultant led tbh. I looked into private health care and checked if any of it was included on my health insurance through my work (but it wasn’t) so like you I decided it wasn’t worth the money and I would rather spend that on baby (especially after spending ££ on IVF to conceive). I did have both baby doctors and doctor for me at the moment of birth but that only because they were about to use forceps but I insisted on one last push which baby came flying out at once from 😂 so the baby doctors left when that happened saying congratulations and they wouldn’t be needed. The doctor for me stayed to do my stitches and chat but I think that’s because my waters had been broken for over 24 hours that she was involved so don’t think she would have been there for all high risk labours.
The one thing afterwards that made me wish I could have privately funded was the postnatal ward after birth- I just felt the midwifes were so busy, so rushed and the place was full (6 mothers and babies to a room) I never got one single wink of sleep for the 3-4 days I had to stay in and no help with trying to breast feed for the first time (despite asking for it). I have no idea if you can give birth in a private hospital and have your own room or share with only a few people for a reasonable amount of money but I would defo like to do that. If. It and it’s the same place yoj give birth at anyway I don’t think I would spend the money tbh. Either way it’s your choice and you or your other half should defo ask the MIL to politely butt out! Xxx
Thank you for sharing and glad the dr wasn’t needed for the baby. When my sister and some cousins had their babies the hospital use to have private rooms for after that were the same price as hotel room though you couldn’t book in advance it was only if available at time but unfortunately they don’t do it anymore. MIL is too much at the minute!
Not in a position myself to afford private healthcare so not something I’ve ever even considered, but not saying that I wouldn’t consider it if I could afford it. I will say that my community midwives have been great individually but I haven’t seen the same one each time so I would say the continuation of care I have received has been appalling at sometimes this has left me upset and frustrated if there’s been issues at my appointments.
I also don’t have any pre existing conditions like yourself so that’s something for you to consider.
I would maybe sit down with your husband and have a chat about if you are happy with NHS then if so you could maybe sit his parents down and say… we’ve decided we are happy with NHS care, we have spent a lot of money on IVF and feel we do not need to spend more on healthcare, but if you want me to have it you are welcome to pay for it.
See what that say to that? Hopefully they’ll either pay for it (if you are comfortable then going private) or they’ll at least leave you alone as you’ve made your decision and they won’t mention it anymore.
I went private for all my care and couldn’t recommend it more. I had consistent access to my consultant and midwives, the care I received was amazing and my delivery perfect. The aftercare so far has also been great! Xx
I had a high risk pregancy and got seen in a special antenatal clinic by 2 consultants as well as normal midwife appts. I got seen a lot. It was quite intense towards the end. In hospital for my induction it was mainly midwives but the consultant popped in once a day. I ended up with an c section which was done by my antenatal care consultant which was nice but could have just been done by whoever was on call.
My personal option as someone who works in health care is to save your money. If you do choose to go private do not have the birth in a private hospital.
Good luck with your decision. Remember it's your body, your money and your choice.
Hi Babytwinkle, I think you should go private given your situation and your age. I know it costs a lot but you will be in better hands and will not regret it. I’m 39 with BP and gave birth to my healthy baby 5 weeks ago. I went private as the midwives in the NHS were not able to assess my high risk pregnancy, were not responsive when I needed them and I have never seen the NHS doctor once during my pregnancy, which made me feel worried. When I decided to go private, I had 24 access to an obstetrician on the phone and had appointments with her at 28 weeks, 32, 36, and my baby was born at 38+ 5 by c-section. The doctor was also very efficient during my postpartum period as I had complications with my BP. Now all is controlled and I have another check at 6 weeks. i would say going private is worth every penny and lowers the risks of having a traumatic birth or traumatic postpartum as your doctor will be experienced enough to anticipate everything. Good luck
I had a high risk pregnancy with allged consultant-led care- I had one telephone appointment with an obstetrician, everything else was done by midwives. I think it depends why you’re high risk as to how involved doctors are. Xx
Thanks. The clinic is specifically for epilepsy and is run by an obstetrician and my own consultant and epilepsy nurse. It seems good but I’d want access to midwives in community as the hospital is almost 2 hours away- when the time comes plan to stay with parents nearby. Some good points have been raised so I’ll write them down ask at appointment.
Inwas high risk for all 3 of my babies, for different reasons. I had no trouble at all with the NHS. They made more 'fuss' that I considered necessary (obviously they're the experts, but I mean to say that I felt extremely well monitored throughout the pregnancies). There was no dr.or consultant as standard in the midwife appointments but seperate consultant appointments were scheduled throughout and I had no trouble getting a callback from the consultant the one time I requested it. When it came to the birth I was introduced to the consultants and drs on duty on my arrival to labour ward and again at each shift change when they cam to check on me and my notes and they appeared at the bedside without delay whenever the midwives alerted them to any change in my status. For 2 of the 3 they were there for the final stage of labour and for the 3rd they made the call and recommended I consent to an emergency section, which I did without question. All the care I have had from the NHS during all 3 pregnancies and births has been exceptional. I honestly cant praise them enough. That said, I imagine it differs from trust to trust and hospital to hospital so I'd recommend getting stories from those who have experienced the services you plan to use. Overall though, I agree with your though process - if its 90% the same anyway and money doesn't grow on trees it seems.an unnecessary expense. But most importantly, go with what you are comfortable with and not what your mother in law wants, unless you have a good reason for wanting to placate her and shes going to pay for it!
I was high risk because I had gestational diabetes in both my pregnancies. I was with the NHS for both pregnancies and can't fault the care I had a diabetes nurse, consultant and obstetrician.
I saw them every three weeks in a clinic or had calls with them, I also had an app to log my blood sugars and request call backs if I needed help.
I found my community midwife a bit redundant, because they only really test your urine and do your blood pressure, which I was having done at the diabetes clinics.
I went through a lot of my birth preferences with my obstetrician, so even my birth plan with my midwife was pretty much decided before I saw her.
If you're going to be under a specialist epilepsy team, maybe you could hold off going private until you see what the care they're giving you is like.
Maybe you could spend the money on a Doula or something instead that they can still help you with the pregnancy and birth but not go full on private?
I had a low risk pregnancy but a high risk delivery and a paediatrician was present at the end of labour to check the baby as soon as he was born. There was also an obstetrician on the ward and she examined me and could be called back into the delivery room should anything go wrong. I felt safe the whole time and I don't know if anything would have been different if I went private.I think I felt I had little support in a postnatal ward though. I mean both baby and I were checked on regularly and I could call for help at any time, so we definitely felt safe, but as a first time mum with no parter to support me due to strict COVID measures I felt left alone with little idea of how to take care of my baby. But now that things relaxed this part should be better. But one thing I would have done differently is I'd book a private session with a lactation consultant (around 150-250 pounds) because I received so much conflicting information about breastfeeding which didn't go smoothly at first. And if I had the money I'd definitely book a doula.
But in general the care I received on NHS was good, I even got my own room free of charge and I spent over a week in hospital.
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