I'm new here! Advice for obsession when trying to conceive?

[AliciaVillalba]

Dear friends,

My husband are trying to conceive. This is our 6th cycle and I am currently in the two-week wait. I am writing because I am having a bit of a struggle coping with it. I know it is still early and I know stress can delay it even more, but I find myself thinking about this all the time, even at night (although I sleep well), so I am currently in a bit of a vicious circle. Also, my colleagues at work are pregnant or just had their babies, so I feel I am surrounded by this all the time, with no ease of mind.. I went to the GP last month and he said there was nothing to worry about and we should keep trying and stay relaxed (I know I am doing the opposite...).

So I am writing here in case you could share with me some advice to stop this obsession and break the circle? Also, to cope with jealousy from colleagues?

Thank you very much and best of luck for your conception, pregnancy and babies!

[Hidden]

When we were trying I kept as active as possible - went to the gym or classes like yoga/pilates for relaxation every day or other day. The tww is really hard every month. I was a bit of a basket case. 🤪

I found I could work through a lot of my frustrations when I exercised a lot and was beneficial for my general health too!

When looking at pregnant colleagues/friends I don't really have any advice apart from saying to yourself - 'that will be me soon!' 😀 6 months is not long at all to be trying - but know time drags in those tww's.

Xxx

[AliciaVillalba in reply to Hidden]

Thanks a lot for your quick reply. I have also joined yoga lessons. I will try to keep as busy as possible, as you suggest. Thank you very much again!

xx

[jessyjessy572]

I completely understand how do you feel as we are in the same position, it feels like our life is set from period to ovulation and from ovulation to period ( two weeks of a eating game).

I know everyone is different by for me starting charting my BBT, and all other possible things makes it things easier as it feels that I can learn my body better and be a little more in control. Also using Kindara app with the forum helped as you can get advise from others in similar situation.

I know this isn’t for everyone as had a friend who tried that as well but it didn’t work for her as it stressed her even more.

I know that there are people who are trying for years but this doesn’t change that every unsuccessful month feels like lifetime.

Wish you all the best and hopefully this month is your month!!!!

[AliciaVillalba in reply to jessyjessy572]

Thank you! I am using the Flo app, but I want to leave it a bit behind to try to focus on other parts of my life, I just don't want this to cover everything

I know it is distressful, and what makes me even more anxious is that this stress can affect it! So as I said it is a vicious cycle...

Thanks a lot again and best wishes for you too!

[Shaky27 in reply to AliciaVillalba]

Hey.

I know the feeling we have been doing this way for my second child.. trying calculating obsession bla-bla-bla during 10 months 😑 and didn’t work... so we gave up the idea of baby and I started doing certification for dance teacher... and guess what!!! I succeed to my exam started my first class a month later and discover that I was pregnant !!!

So now for baby 3 , we decided not to focus, I removed my IUD, have fun during night whatever the date is (ovulation or not) and just live... the only thing I did is taking vitamines to help to f pregnant every morning... after a month bingo.. I’m now 7 weeks pregnant.

So please don’t focus don’t calculate as you tried this way and it didn’t work... try a different way... just enjoy life (I know easy to say) and focus on your couple - love complicity romantic moments etc... it will come will be even more better.

Positive vibes to you Alicia (that’s my famous second child name btw ) lol

Xoxoxo

[AliciaVillalba in reply to Shaky27]

Thank you!

Your post was really positive and you recommend me doing exactly what the GP said: go home and have fun with your husband! It's just that it's a bit difficult but I will take your advice.

Thanks again and congratulations for your 3 babies And give Alicia a great hug!!

xoxoxo

[Shaky27 in reply to AliciaVillalba]

Awww thanks for alicia. I’m happy you feel a bit positiv. You can do it : live every second and keep faith. Wish you both all the best 😘😘

[a1234567]

Hi darling, I’ve felt everything you described. The worst thing for me was other people’s pregnancies. Luckily it happened for me after four years ttc and I’m now holding my little boy.

At this stage it’s still very early so try to stick to the NHS guidelines re what to eat and drink, how often to have sex, folic acid etc. If it doesn’t happen within a year then you should visit your GP. You should visit your GP earlier if you are over 35 or you think you or your husband might have a condition that prevents you from getting pregnant.

Regarding those jealousy feelings, the only thing that helped me was to do things that I really enjoyed and say to myself it will happen to me very soon. There was a time after my second IVF and miscarriage that I kept saying to myself that even if I don’t get pregnant, I will live life to the fullest. Enjoy life because we only live once 😉.

[oliviarae27]

I am currently in the exact same situation with regards to ladies around you being pregnant. I am on the netmums forum and reading & speaking to other ladies is helping me get through the wait and remain sane. I am also doing my house up so this is a distraction, try finding hobbies or meeting with friends (that aren't pregnant!) I also find speaking to my partner about my worries and what I'm thinking at night helps because often he is feeling the same, but also wants to make me feel better.

Your time will come, sending you baby dust. xxx