Why do I feel so down??

[missklt]

Hi everyone. I had my little girl 22 weeks ago and just lately I have been feeling down and have no confidence

[tazmania]

having a baby can really turn your life upside down and requires a major adjustment, especially if it is your first, but also for any subsequent children. Maybe at the beginning you were so busy struggling through that you didn't necessarily feel so down, however now that time has gone on and the initial flush has passed these feelings can come flooding in. Lack of sleep, post-pregnancy body, worries about whether you're doing things right, spending all day with a baby ... I think all these things can play a part. House maybe being upside down, etc. If you've been feeling this way for a little while then maybe make an appointment with doc so that they can assess where you're at. In the meantime try to make sure you're reaching out for any support you have around you - friends, family, other mums, health visitor, baby groups, here, etc ... don't have to tell them you're feeling down if you don't want to, could just arrange to talk/hang out and do 'normal' things. Hope this helps, don't let it get worse xx

[missklt in reply to tazmania]

Thank you. I'm off to a baby group tomorrow but lost all confidence so if I have to courage I'm the morning I will be going xx

[tazmania in reply to missklt]

hope you made it out this morning! If not, try again next time! Is there any particular concern on your mind that you think could be knocking your confidence?

[Thirdtimelucky]

Hi misskit, I had smilar feelings after having my little girl, the whole socialising

and aquantices thing was all new to me, I was afraid about how others would view me, but I had no doubts about how I wanted my daughter to be raised, I told myself I'm not doing this for me I'm doing it for her, and I'm going to look like a confident mummy infront of her so she jumps right in, it worked, even though i walked home a bit teary eyed a couple of times thinking I haven't made friends swapped numbers yet. And now I've never been so busy, I know it's scary, and being a new mum can be overwhelming at times and you have had to make so many changes in your life ( plus lack of sleep) Dosen't help. But it's always worth speek ing to your Gp, health visitor, or other health official about how you feel. But you also may be surprised about how many other mums have experienced the blues too xxx go get em tomorrow

[NCTcharity]

You may be suffering from postnatal depression or the baby blues, here's our information: nct.org.uk/parenting/postna.... We also have a helpline: 0300 330 0700 for practical and emotional support.

[Hotdiggitydog]

I had the baby blues quite badly when I had my son. I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything and like you had no confidence. I was also upset all the time and constantly believed I couldn't do it. I was ill when he was born and for ages after which didn't help and we were separated for most of the 1st week of his life as he was ill too and I struggled to bond with him. I found it really helpful to talk to everyone about all of my feelings....poor them lol....and when I thought he was old enough, I forced myself to go to a baby group which did help and I met some people who felt the same....although I didn't make any lasting friendships from it but it was nice to have the adult chat and something else that took the focus off just the baby. It is such an overwhelming time. Hope you managed to get to your group x

[Hidden]

It's good that you can acknowledge how you're feeling. 'Baby Blues' is quite common, due to all the hormones bouncing about, coupled with tiredness. However, don't dismiss your feelings as 'feeling hormonal'. If you can, talk to your Health Visitor and GP. Are you breastfeeding? I don't know if it's suitable if you are, but St Johns Wort is a good herbal remedy for if you're feeling down (can't be taken with certain contraceptive pills though), it takes the edge off low moods.

Having a baby can be quite lonely at times, which doesn't help if you're feeling down. It's easy to say 'go and find groups in your area', but it's also quite daunting in terms of going out and meeting people you don't know. I was in the same boat, but I can honestly say that the initial feeling of anxiety is short term only - there's a lot of people feeling the same and it's worth it in the long run! Maybe you could get in touch with your local Surestart children's centre and see what activities they have? Also, if you're on Facebook, try searching for parent groups in your area, I've just joined one and as well as offering advice, there are often posts about meeting up, etc.

And remember, be kind to yourself. You're doing an amazing job X

[missklt]

Thank u everyone x

[mysticmamma]

theres always so much to do with a baby which can be overwhelming at times, just carry on doing a great job ,and do force yourself out to toddler groups its for your own good and your baby will like it too,Things can change with a outingit breaks up the routine and you will feel better.Try to make life easier for your self and treat yourself when you can bringing up baby isnt all roses and you should treat yourself to things too.are you breast feeding, what things upset you?