Hi ladies.... Congratulations to all the new mummies around... And hello to everyone to who I have spoken to before... Sorry I havent been in touch, just far too much on my plate... I've just been "hiding away" from everything and everywhere in the hop ethat the problems will just go away.... They dont tho!
The clock is really ticking now!!! Soon my baby will be here. Sooner than that I will be stopping work and I have just found out that I will not be paid Maternity Leave from work. I am in a huge huge struggle as it is right now, let alone if I stop work and have absoluty no income at all. I am really worried and stressed about it all. I am starting to panic about labour. How is it going to be? Will everything go alright? Can I do it?
And I am very very worried about my financial stability!!!! Does anyone know what are the requirements to be allowed Maternity Allowance from the government? For what I have been finding online, if you have not worked at least 26 weeks of your pregnancy you are not allowed it. I have worked. But does anyone know what happens if you have been working as a freenlancer? I guess that will be considered a self employed, right? But if you are not registered as self employed yet? Will I not get anything? Am I still in time to register myself as self employed? As I am already in the 11 weeks before due date period.
Please help ladies!!! Any advice would be so so welcome. Anyone with similar experiences...
Thank you all and God bless you and your LO's.... xx
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Cris85
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If you are registered self employed then you are entitled to maternity allowance, but if you haven't registered then I'm not sure whether you'd be eligible. It's worth checking out though. There's more info at gov.uk/maternity-allowance or you should be able to talk to someone at your local job centre about it.
The key thing, if I remember right, is whether you've been paying in your National Insurance contributions over a certain period of time.
Unfortunately I am not registered as self employed as I didn't realise I was self employed. Though the company was sorting all of that... but just learnt that they have me down as self employed.... Now I have been left in this muddle!!!
I wonder if I am still in time to register as self employed for this financial year?! But then again I dont have any paperwork to present...
I am so confused!!! And so upset!!! Having to be in this position now!!! It's just not fair! How will I be able to support my baby on my own without any income whatsoever?!
Anyway my darling, how far are you? I'm due in March... so upset that I havent been able to relax and enjoy my pregnancy! And I really hope that I am not passing on my stress and sadness to my LO. It's not fair!
Wish you all the best hon and again, thank you for trying to help.
x
Hey hun. It seems to be one thing after another for you as scoffcat said, perhaps you should go to the jobcentre and sit down with someone and get some individual advice. I hope this gets resolved for you.
Try not to worry about the labour. You can do it. You will be absolutely fine. It went far from smoothly for me, but I'm over it and baby is here and healthy and we are happy so you can overcome any difficulties too. Hopefully, you'll have a nice straightforward delivery and can start your new family with your partner on a positive note.
I have many financial issues which make things difficult at this time but I like to think that everything can be worked out and I know that my boy certainly isn't doing without. You will find ways to live that will accommodate your new arrival. Remember lots of bargains to be had on the internet and second hand baby stuff. Car boot sales are also good for bargains too hun.
Please stay strong and positive. You are doing so well xx
Unfortunately things are a lot more complicated than that (I have sent you a detailed message)... I am just stuck agaisnt the wall... not knowing which way to go at all. It just feels like whichever way I look... there is no way out.
Deep down I hope and I know there will be a solution for everything and things will work out eventually... but right now its doesnt look like that at all. And I really need to get this sorted. I will just have to deal with the consequences afterwards but Im sure it will be a big weight of my shoulders, once I speak to someone about this and once it gets going.
Hon, regarding labour. I hope you are right. I hope God gives me a straight forward delivery... to be fair...in the middle of all that I have got going on right now... I havent really put much thought into it...but as the weeks move up...that thought is creeping into my mind.... the pain.... the all thing... how will I react? who will be there for me? who do I want there?
Not to mention I haven't got much for my baby yet. Yes, you are right about bargains and second hand bits.... all I have so far is 2nd hand clothes. But I am starting to get anxious about getting a cot bed, the travel system (push chair and car chair), nappies and a few newborn baby bits.... I feel that these are the essentials! The rest I am sure I will get by. I will just have to play by hear...get things as I need maybe. Although it would be nice to grab some bargains now with the sales but I am absoluty pennyless. Have been living on £10-£20 week for the past 4 weeks... there is nothing spare...
Anyway hon, enough of me and my problems... I am really really pleased for you that you are fully recovered from your labour and that your little prince is doing well... might God bless you with a wonderfull 2014, filled with health, peace, love and comfort.
You poor thing, what a horrible situation. Talk to someone and get some proper advice. Job centre, or there's a helpline on the web link I gave. It's horrible that you've been left to sort all this out yourself, but you should be able to sort it out.
Hey Hun. Sorry to hear your having such a stressful time sorting this out! As the other ladies have suggested try arranging an appointment at the job centre but it might also be worth getting an appointment with your local citizens advice bureau as they can tell you also what to do and what possible benefits you'd be entitled to instead.
Please try not to panic, everything will slot into place. And as for buying baby stuff, make a list of what's priority e.g Moses basket, pram, clothes etc. I'm due on the 8th and still don't have a cot yet as little one will be in a Moses basket first
Good luck with it all and I truely hope everything gets sorted for you xx
As others have suggested try & speak to someone regarding your situation. Has the company you have been working for paying ur national insurance (should tell u on wage slip) because if they have they can't have u down as being self employed & for them to be paying ur tax. As far as I'm aware (& I could be wrong) I thought everyone was entitled to maternity pay whether it's from the company u work for or the government. Try & find out if ur also entitled to working tax credit & child tax credits. Hope everything works out for you. Ps I'm also due in march & can't wait to meet my lo xxx
Thank you ladies: EmBee and Mom2be for your replies.
I had an appointment booked with local CAB but it got cancelled. I am now awaiting to hear from them once they are back to work.
I think I have stressed too much over loads of things going on in my life right now and enough is enough! I shall not stress anymore. I went for a nice walk earlier today and returned to my searches online a couple of hours ago, I think I might have found a solution. Well at least I have calmed down and realised I just have to face the music and see what they can help be with. Surely there will be some help out there for me.
EmBee, yes you are right I have to get the basic important things first. But you know how it is...first time mum... you are on the dark about everything! I fear that I wont know exacly everything that is needed, fear that I will not know how to look after my LO, not to mention that I am terrified about labour...
So far I have bought a few clothes (2nd hand), a chest of drawers where I have put all the baby clothes and a moses basket and my clothes for night at hospital. Not sure if I need to get a little mattress for the moses basket? It just feels to me that it could do with something extra padded... need to get little bed sheets and staff.... A friend of mine said I can have her cot bed but she hasnt mentioned it recently...so I feel bad...if she doesn't say it again I might just have to buy my own and I have seen that the bed sets are very expensive.
What else do you recomment I need to get?
Im thinking travel set (buggie+car seat), termometer for room temperature, bath set. What else do you think? How much clothing for first few weeks do I need? I really want to breast feed but might need to get little milks just in case. Also, should I be wearing special support bras? What do you put in your hospital bag: 2 couple of newborn vests? what about buttoms? I have one of them snowy style all in one things which is nice to bring the baby home in. nappies, which ones do I get? sudocream, wipes, what other creams or any products should I always carry with me? maternity towels and breast pads... what else ladies?!
Mom2Be, thank you again for your support...
I am sure things will work out eventually.... as I said, I guess its cause it has just been too too much for the past 3 years or so, this one thing I would like to go smoothly... I guess I am just not coping very well... But I have calmed down. I will have to go and get the necessary forms and apply for whatever I might be entitled to and let them decide. I am sure there will be some sort of help out there for me.
What due date have they given you? mine is 11/march. Are you still working?
Have you got everything sorted for LO's arrival? Is it first child? Do you know if its boy or girl? Where abouts to you live?
Yea get a mattress for the basket if you feel it needs more padding you can get sheets cheap enough in Argos. Try and forget the cotbed for now as baby can stay in Moses basket for a few months, so you could perhaps just put abit of money back each week and buy one later on. Gumtree is worth having a look on, people are always trying to get rid of their baby stuff for a decent price.
Pram and car seat is essential. As for nappies, I got all of mine on amazon (pampers) as they do the big boxes for like £7-£8 but I've heard that morrisons, tescos and aldis own brands are very good and are a decent price also!
As for a bath set, I'm just getting a bath seat that you put in the bath as they soon outgrow the baby baths and you have 2 hands free to bathe your little one, or you could just use the sink (many of my friends have done that)
And for the hospital bag pack 2-3 vests and sleep suits, going home outfit, blanket etc. and just make sure you have lots of vests and babygrows for first weeks if babys life as they go through a lot of them (so I keep getting told!) primarks good for packs of those items
Sorry for the looooong reply. It'll all work out one way or another x
Glad u have had time to try & "clear ur head" a wee bit. I'm due 15th march & expecting a girl. It's my 2nd but there will be an age gap of nearly 10yrs between the two. Still getting round to sorting things out but luckily I still have a few items left from the 1st time like Moses basket & cot, just need to get new mattresses. Hopefully sorting out a pram 2moro or later this week. I'm still working & plan to finish up 7th march all going well. I'm in glasgow/South Lanarkshire area. Where abouts are u? As u said things will dirt themselves out. Do u know what ur having? As for your friend, she may have forgotten that she said to you about cot, u could always get a brochure from mothercare & ask "her opinion" on what she recommends & it might jog her memory. Xxx
Hey...theres a lot of things I bought tht we dont use like a bath seat because we get in the bath with our baby and bathe him tht way. Dnt worry about a thermometer for now.. I wud say tht wud b for when baby is in iwn room. For baby for hospital take 4 baby vests and sleepsuits...I get a lot of my baby clothing frm supermarkets. I get nappies and wipes online frm amazon only because I was bought so many pampers tht I didnt want to change but I kno asda nappies r gd. When u bring baby home u need car seat. U can get milk if u want...I also bought tht but my son wudnt take a bottle so another thing I didnt need..u can buy ready to go bottles in shops. Make sure u hav loads of sanitary towels and loads of old big knickers. hope it all works out for u xx
Thank you again ladies.... I think I've got the right idea... I'll get there! and I'm sure I'll be left with a few odd things that I will never use!
Thank you for amazon advice for pampers. I didn't know!
Another thing I wanted to ask... I would like to breast feed my LO, as I believe its a great connection between us and the baby. Also is meant to be really good for the LO! Whats your opinion about breast feeding ladies? And should I be wearing special bras?
Mom2Be ohhh thats lovely. We will be giving birth to our LO's around same time! Im having a girl and its my first one. Im in North London!
Are you going for a normal birth? Im having a normal birth if all goes to plan. Although I have not yet discussed anything with anyone. I have midwife appointment Tue 7/jan when I will be 31 weeks. See if she will talk about that. Also got 3 antenatal classes booked in jan.
Im also thinking to work until around 15th Feb as I need the money...
Once again ladies...thank you for all your help. And hope it all goes well for everyone.
That's great ur having a wee girl as well. Like u I'm hoping all goes to plan & I can have a natural birth, I'm just going to go with the flow, no point on having my heart set on something & plans change so as said will c what happens & when. I've not discussed with midwife yet either & next appoint will be when I'm 32 weeks. I don't get to do anti natal classes cause I have a child already. Even although nearly 10 yrs between them I asked if anything had changed & got told "money & staff shortages". That's me told then! Lol xxx I'm working up as close as I can because I know I will be bored sitting around the house waiting for something to happen & with my job I can & I will be surrounded by people & it's closer to hospital if I need it. Good luck to you & hope all works out & can't wait to get further updates as our due date approaches xxx
I bf my son and hes 16 eeeks tomorrow. .its convenient and cheap and yes its a gd way to bond so if u can then its great. I wud get some nursing bras but wait until bit nearer the time as when ur milk comes in ur boobs get big but yeh nursing bras r easier to feed with. Places like m and s..Debenhams do them or even try ebay. X
Google income support and it should bring up the gov. Number and they can give u some advice. .. if u are not Working then u are entitled to benefits even if u have been Working previously... if u are renting u may be able to get housing benefit and if u are entitled to income support then u can get a £500 maternity grant one off payment for ur first child...I hope u get it sorted all the best x
Hi Cris85, apologies that I haven't replied earlier, and also if I repeat things already in replies you've already received, there's a lot of good advice here, and a lot of sympathy too, which I'm sure is a huge comfort. Scoffcat has given you the website for claiming maternity allowance, (you need your MATB1 form from your midwife/doctor) which you can do anytime after 26 weeks so you're fine on that score. As you've worked out, it's the bit about being registered as self-employed before you claim that throws a spanner in the works, you will need to fill in a form to register that you are now self-employed, which you can also find through the HMRC website, although the following link may help: online.hmrc.gov.uk/registra... It's confusing as it refers to registering a new business, which seems different to registering yourself self employed, but it's basically the same thing. The telephone number you need to discuss this with someone directly is 08000556688 (which of course is nowhere to be found on the website, or maybe I'm blind), you will need your national insurance number to hand. Before you call you may want to consider a few things, how long have you being working for the company (you may, I hate to say, owe some national insurance contributions (which I understand you can pay in arrears to ensure your payments are up to date, thus entitling you to the same level of assistance that you would have been originally) and income tax, although from what I've read there's every chance that you're under the taxable threshold anyway). Also, have you been receiving wage slips, if you have then it sounds like the company is trying it on, if they were classing you as self-employed they should have been asking for invoices. I would definitely get any help you can from CAB as they are confidential, also, they may know of charities that might be able to help you. A quick search has come up with home-start.org.uk/ I don't know if they can help, also, there are children's centres across the country, although your little one isn't here yet it's worth seeing what they offer: gov.uk/find-sure-start-chil...
I really hope you find some solutions, I've found the staff at HMRC pretty helpful and understanding, although they really don't understand how intimidating all the bureaucracy is for those of us trying to fathom it out, it's terrifying talking to them as you worry that you may land yourself in trouble. I feel for you immensely with the whole living on a very short shoestring thing and am blessed that for me life improved before the consideration of family came along. And that as this is my 2nd child on it's way I already had an inkling about the whole self-employment/MA scenario.
Thank you very much ladies for all your advices and support. It is indeed as Cowgirl7 said "huge comfort"!
Mom2be, I havent discussed any birth plan with anyone either. Actually I have only been seen by midwife twice. Apart from 4 other times at hospital (first time-introduction/bounty pack, etc; second time for the 13 week scan; 3rd time for the 20 week scan then recently 28 weeks cause im a resus neg so had to get Anti D injection).
My next appointment is tuesday (31 weeks)... OMG time has flown pass me!!! I am having this visions about labour now... Im scared!
Ceribean, thanks for the tip. I will probably look up online on ebay for maternity bras. My boobs were always so small and no shape, not firm! I don't want to imagine how they will be after baby! They have grown a little bit but not much at all. Do they grow more towards the end of the pregnancy? Or after you give birth? I heard something about we should wear wired/booster/padded bras?! Should I not wear them from now? Cause to be honest I have not been able to buy any clothes at all for myself. Im just wearing the bigger knickers that I've got; my bras are always padded (cause as I said: got no boobs!) been leaving in leggings and my looser tops, which are not quite doing the job any more.Did buy a couple of weeks ago a second hand pair of maternity jeans, they were falling off at the time. Haven't tried them these days.
Babymother and Cowgirl7 thank you so much for all the tips. I have been doing by braining online constantly searching for all these things. I wish I was comfortable enough not to have to ask for any help.
I went job centre on Monday and rang up requesting Maternity Allowance forms, which surprisingly came quite quick considering New Year's. Spend hours last night filling it in, reading every single question, searching, double checking, I posted it this morning. Fingers crossed my lovely ladies. But I really dont know as I have no pay slips to provide. Not sure they will accept as I have been working. But we will see. Hopefully!
A friend was kind enough to print off to me the sure start maternity grant and the ESA forms. I think I will try filling them in as well over the weekend. I guess I have to try everything. The Tax Credit forms aparently can not be obtained online, so I have to go job centre again and ring up to request.
I am just trying to stay calm and positive! Its a new year. What will be will be and I will have to make sure I try everything that I can to provide comfort and stability to me baby.
God bless you all lovely mummies and babies...and bumps xxx
My boobs didn't grow throughout pregnancy but like a few days after my son arrived my boobs were like melons with all the milk. I wore my normal underwired bras throughout pregnancy then now I just hav nursing bras xx
I'm lacking in the breasticle department too! Was a small but pert B, then during pregnancy went to a C, then When I was breastfeeding went up to a D!! Then when I stopped I gradually went back to a B still fairly pert though considering the increase!! Xx
I'm in the same situation (almost!) - I have an unpaid job, was working towards being self employed and earning money and now...well, I'm back to square one financially! I haven't paid last year's National Insurance either and trying not to worry.
As far as I know, you should be entitled to something called a 'Sure start grant' (I think it's called that), of £500 if your N.I. contributions are up to date.
Personally, I've tried looking on the Government website and I couldn't find any useful information! If you can, try and arrange a meeting with the Citizen's Advice Bureau. When you phone to arrange an appointment, make sure they understand that your matter is urgent, that you will be giving birth soon and that the unnecessary stress of waiting is not good for you or the baby.
As for the 'essentials' - there are a lot of great secondhand bits and bobs out there - on Ebay/Gumtree you could look at buying a travel system or stroller secondhand, but buy a new compatible car seat. Same with bed frames (secondhand) and mattresses (new). There's some good little bargains online.
Also Check out Ebay - there is a seller called NURERYSAVINGS, Basically, they buy surplus/unwanted stock from major retailers such as Mothercare and sell them at a discount. Check their shop and listings for more info.
Kiddicare also has a cracking deal on cots and mattresses (buy a cot/cotbed and get a mattress half price), as well as an online code (valid until Monday), which adds an extra 15% discount.
I'm not due until June, so still got some time ahead - I've been told that I'll get a certificate at my 24 week appointment which I will need for applying for maternity leave, etc. I figured I'd start enquiring then (as I said, I've looked at websites and felt very confused afterwards!).
thank you Apple-Tea... It did work! NurserySavings has got some nice deals. Is the staff all new and in good working order? Why do they sell it so cheap?
You still have a bit of time to sort those odd things out. Hopefully you will be just fine.
I have got the sure start maternity grant forms (although I think you have to be on some sort of benefits to be entitled to it) and also got ESA forms (for what I found out because I am not actually looking for a job at the moment I can't claim Job Seekers Allowance, but I should be able to claim Employment And Support Allowance instead, but I think this is only if I am not entitled to Maternity Allowance). I am keeping my fingers crossed for the best as I think Maternity Allowance is a bit more that ESA. Lets see what they decide.
Keep in touch hun... You still have a while to go... Me... before I realise I will be in labour! I am really scared now. I find myself having visions and thoughts about labour. I keep asking myself how am I going to do it? How am I going to be brave enough to deal with the pain and go through it?!
At the moment I am trying to keep my mind busy with other things...a couple of friends suggested a baby shower... I think it would be nice...if anything a good excuse to get my friends together... whom I dont get to see much at all!
I had a few ideas how I would like to do it. By the way, ladies... I wonder if any of you could help me on this one... I was thinking to do as little gifts (favors to give out at the end of the party) mini flower pots (my friend has given me some cute little square pink pots that she used to freeze baby food).
So the idea is to put one little flower in each little cointainer. If possible attached a little ribbon accross them. My problem now is... I dont know what flower to use?! Anyone has any idea? A short small pretty indivudal flower (I would prefer white flower). I am thinking to do it for around 15 Feb. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
From what I read about the sellers - they take stock which has been returned to retailers. They've not been returned because they're faulty or unsafe - it tends to be that they're an unwanted item, that sort of thing. The grading on their listings mention that each item is safety checked before selling, too!
As for labour - make sure you've discussed as much as possible with your midwife and birthing partner. Try not to focus on 'horror stories' and take advantage of Birthing classes. Remember the outcome, too If our Mothers and Grandmothers could do it, I'm sure we can!!
Am I right in thinking your baby is due in March? If so, March's birth flower is the daffodil/narcissus. So, a little bulb would add a personal touch! Xx
Yes, hun I am due in March. If I do do a baby shower I will probably due around 17th-23th Feb. I would like to plant something that would actually be flowering by the time I had it out to people. I will look into daffodil/narcisses. Thanks
As for labour I have not discussed anything yet with anyone. I dont seem to ever have the same midwive. Im interested in seeing how it will be the rest of the remaing weeks. Are we supposed to be seen more often until the end of the pregnancy?! I wonder.
Also I dont have a birthing partner. My very good friend has said that she would love to be there for me, which I was very touched. I didnt think no one would ever say that to me.
But unfortunately... I dont know if she will be able to be there, as she lives a little far from me and its not something we can plan...it can be any day...any time. she might be at work or watever... I hope she can be there as I have no one to give me streght and support.
Good luck and god bless your situation. How about try a work from home job to bring some income in. Congratulations on the pregnancy don’t stress out not good for the pregnancy
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