I'm busy doing nothing - could PMR/GCA be telling us we need to let ourselves do less?

[PMRpro]

This is a link to an article in the Guardian

theguardian.com/lifeandstyl...

Reading it today I was struck by the idea we do talk about quite often that maybe developing an autoimmune chronic illness is a message to our bodies to take some down-time. And that actually - properly doing nothing can be very restorative.

Maybe we need more of it ...

[Bcol]

I think that is very definitely a good idea. In my humble opinion one of the worst things that successive administrations/governments/employers have forced on people in recent years is cutting the workforce and then expecting the remaing staff/workers to complete the same amount or more of work that was achieved before. I'm a quite sure that has led to workforce burnout, dissatisfaction with work and mental and physical stress, which in the long term is no good no anyone, employers and their workers or the country.

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer]

Sometimes it takes a traumatic life event for someone to realise that they need to step back and reprioritise.

This comment is very true... happened twice in our married life .

First - When my late hubby had his triple bypass in1996 - after a couple of heart attacks late 1995 and 1996.

It was touch and go whether he would actually make it through the night - he was in Kings College [me in Dorset] so my son sat with him all night, doing all he could to keep him alive... talking, praying [in his own way]. I hared up the next day [well as fast as the train would take me] - he was still in a precarious state, but still here.

He continued to make slow, but steady progress and was home in just over a week...but still quite fragile. Pleased to say he did recover from bypass but not to full health. We had another 17 years together... but a slower pace [and certain things we had planned for our retirement had to be shelved]. Unfortunately I had to continue work for another 11 of those years.

Second - you know the full story - but again a re-evaluation of life. .. and yes perhaps I hadn't fully learnt the lessons the first time around [but sometimes you are in a position where you cannot step back, especially if a carer].

Now I can, and have.. and intend to continue to do so.

[Pixix in reply to DorsetLady]

You’ve cracked it, I think, but I’m sorry to hear how you all suffered with your husband being so sick. Those days/weeks/months must have been very hard. S x

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to Pixix]

Thank you, it was. But reading stories on here, one family of many in similar situation.

[Pixix in reply to DorsetLady]

Oh yes, you’re right. S x

[Kendrew]

That article really resonated with me. After I was medically retired, I felt this urgency to keep busy.... I felt I must be active, focused & with purpose. It was exhausting in every conceivable way.

Over time, I've learnt to understand the value of what I call, an 'opt out' day. A day when my hubby is in the office and I plan absolutely nothing for that day. I do nothing that involves driving, texting, housework, entertaining, etc, and simply choose to do whatever gives me a feeling of peace, rest, tranquility and hopefully, restoration.

It's also time to ponder, contemplate & even daydream. I love it, but it's taken me a while to not feel guilty for doing nothing.

[Grammy80 in reply to Kendrew]

Over time, I've learnt to understand the value of what I call, an 'opt out' day.

So true and it has served me well. One day per week, I go to art classes, 9-2, and my second day is crocheting from 1:30-3:00 with a group. All the other days are zero, which allows me to space appointments (doc or hair), Zoom, or 'do nothing.' ...especially now that I drive myself, as well as the fact that my husband's dementia is noticeably progressing. Opting out is my 'patience pill.' He is on Aricept now, and it seems to keep him fairly even. I'm thankful I have this latitude. Another big help is sometimes saying 'No' or 'I can't' with no guilt whatsoever.💞

[Kendrew in reply to Grammy80]

That used to be the most difficult thing......saying no!

People are inclined to say, "Oh! Come on....one night/one drink/one trip/one piece of cake won't hurt.." ...or whatever it is, but I now stick to my guns and if they take offence, then they're not understanding my circumstances and not really acting as I'd hope a friend would do.

I always say now, " You don't have to understand my decisions, but I do ask that you respect them."

[Grammy80 in reply to Kendrew]

Those two little letters are often hard to say....but if they take offense, they have a problem. Better them than you, I say.🤣😂💞