Pre-teen stealing

[Stargazer86]

My pre-teen daughter seems to have a habit of taking things that belong to other people. This has been a long standing worry with peers and occurs once every few months. Items taken are of no significant value however understandably this causes upset and distress to those that are victim to losing their items. This has been apparent since she was around 7 years old and started with key rings, fidgets, lip balms, highlighters etc. We have always been open to discussing this with her and we feel it is an impulsive behaviour rather than a pre-mediated incident. We try to help her understand the consequences but we do not seem to be getting through to her that this is serious, could have a significant impact on her, her relationships and at worst criminality if it continues as she gets older. Does anyone have an advice on how to approach this differently?

[Mum35]

Hello,

It might be worth talking to your GP to get some advice about accessing appropriate support in children’s mental health care. I know that sounds scary and extreme but Kleptomania (compulsive stealing disorder) can be a sign of Impulsive and Compulsive Disorders and anxiety. They might be able to help recognise triggers and how to help the child control their impulses.

Hope this helps

[MrsHello Community Ambassador]

Hi, how have things been? it can be really difficult to manage behaviours like stealing when they become persistent and problematic. I remember with my own older teens, that especially when they got to that pre teen stage it got even more tricky - feelings seem to get really big, really quickly.

It sounds like you have been trying for a while to deal with the stealing which is so positive. Like the previous reply said, it may be that asking for help from someone would be a good next step . You could ring the Just one Norfolk number (0300 300 0123) to talk to someone and ask for support on next steps. This would be a good way for you talk through your worries and help you explore a little what’s happening. You could also ask your daughter’s school teacher to see if the problem occurs in school and share any concerns you have.

I know that the Just one Norfolk website has a lot of helpful information on emotional health in young people. It may be that by first talking it through with someone they can help you with your next steps in helping your daughter😊.