It's all over

[Hap2260]

My husband lost his fight yesterday it was a fight he never CD have won still can't believe he is gone how do I start to carry on

[Magpuss]

I'm so sorry for your loss. i wish I could say something that would help but all I can do is offer sympathy and just a tiny bit of advice. All you have to do for the moment is get from one end of the day to the other, don't think about how, just try and stick to plodding through things as and when you can. It will be 14 yrs in March since my husband died but I haven't forgot how things felt 'to me' at that time, and I'm still here in spite of having had oesophageal cancer since then. Nothing can ever take away the good years that you shared, just give yourself time to grieve and be patient with yourself. God bless xx

[PhysioD]

Very sad news Elizabeth. You have my sincere sympathy and my heart goes out to you. One day at a time for now but I’m thinking you may benefit from bereavement counselling in time. But just for now I am very sad to hear your news. It’s been awful for you and I send you a sincere hug. Keep talking on here to let me know how you are getting on. It will all be a haze at first but as time goes on, just know I’m always here to listen. Dawn xxx

[PhysioD]

Further to my last message, I couldn’t remember the name but there is a charity called Cruse who I believe will be able to help you in your feelings of grief. It’s a process and you are right at the start. Always a listening ear here. Dawn xxx

[Hap2260 in reply to PhysioD]

Thank you for your message I will look at the cruise website it's just so painful my heart hurts so much I know it wd have been so cruel to have wanted him to still be here he had been tru enough my four children will be here for me as they have been all throughout this last year x

[PhysioD in reply to Hap2260]

I feel your pain. I understand. Xxxx

[Tlynn89]

So sorry for your loss. Nothing I can say can take the pain away but I hope that grace and love surrounds you every day and that you gain strength to take each day at face value until you can balance a new normal. Know that you did everything you could and he is free from pain now, knowing he was loved so dearly. Many blessings and hugs to you always.

[Karjade]

I am so sorry. Love and hugs xxxx

[patkele]

So very sorry to hear of your loss.

I lost my husband 5 years ago at 56 within 5 months of initial diagnosis and my experience is that it is literally just taking one day at a time at first. There are no expectations - just do what you can each day and that is good enough.

I think it is good to talk and in time you may feel like bereavement counselling is for you. I accessed counselling through the hospice and this helped me enormously. After a while I felt strong enough to return to work - a job I really love, which has been good for me.

It is not the life we planned, we just have to find a different one and know that our loved ones will always be with us.

Take care,

Pat x

[Hap2260 in reply to patkele]

Thanks so much for your reply it really made sense i will take time i have a wee grandson who was born when my husband was diagnosed so he is now a year old and he does make me smile it was good to hear the life you planned became a different i am hoping this will be the same for me I know it's really early days but your reply was just what I needed to hear thanks so much xxx

[patkele in reply to Hap2260]

It is very hard to think about the future now I know, but you will get through these difficult days and your little Grandson will brighten up your days I'm sure.

Take care,

Pat x

[timmey25]

I am so so sorry my mum has just passed away too diagnosed 21/12/2018 passed away 18/01/2019 it's so hard the thing that's is getting me through it is friends and family there is no more suffering now he was so young too I really feel for you

[Hap2260 in reply to timmey25]

So sorry for you loss it's such a hard time and such a horrible cancer so glad you family and friends are their to support you sending you lots of love xx

[hunsdon]

I am so sorry for your loss, take time to grieve and one day at a time my heart is with you 🙏❤️

[Paulbrighton]

I’m, really sorry to hear of your terrible loss. Know that he is not suffering now. I have had all the treatments then secondary tumour as well as many of the other problems people have with this disease. It’s awful and stressful and seems never-ending. My partner and I are going through things that only people who have suffered through it like you can understand. At least that suffering has ended for him. I am sending you lots of love and wishing that you find a way to live with your loss, as people seem to do. For now it’s just one day at a time I guess, the way that so many of us have to live whilst the rest of the world seems to rush on with their lives oblivious.

Love Paul.

[Hap2260 in reply to Paulbrighton]

Thanks for your reply it is such a awful cancer my husband had so many treatments but never lost hope I am so sorry that you and your partner are going through the same things he is now free of pain and I know it would have been selfish to have carried on but I just miss him so much .He played darts for Scotland and got to the last 8 of the world championships in his younger days we are expecting his funeral to be a large one so we are only having family flowers so donations can be made to Eespegeoul cancer as we had never heard of it before he got it so hopefully some money might be raised. Take care of yourself sending you lots of love Elizabeth xx

[slobjohnb]

I think the caring and considerate replies from this group are heartwarming and you know they are sincere. It certainly helps to share, it has helped me a lot.

[Andishine]

So sorry to hear this. Just one day at a time and with lots of love and support you will get through this.Im sure there are lots of lovely memories for you to cherish.Sending love and hugs.xx

[luluw]

I am so sorry. You must miss him so much. Sending sincere hugs.

Lou xxxx

[Oceanbubble]

So sorry to hear your news. Have a look at thegoodgrieftrust.org, it could be helpful.

[PhysioD]

Just thinking of you. Hope you are ok... I know you’re not but you know what I mean. Dawn xxx

[Hap2260]

Thanks so much for all your lovely replies they are a help just to let you know at my husbands funeral we managed to collect £1370 ochre which is a charity that raises awareness of this horrible cancer and hopefully patients can be diagnosed earlier which means that they will have a better chance of fighting it . Xxx