My partner, the love of my life had an AVM rupture and bleed. The bleed was large and they operated to remove a clot that formed along with removing the AVM. The AVM was in the right hand side motor cortex and after it was removed there were stroke like symptoms in the area. His brain swelled and they had to remove part of his skull to reduce pressure. The pressure made the damage spread. An MRI yesterday shows a lot of damage to the midbrain and the thalumus. The rest of his brain stem is okay and he opens his eyes on his own etc. The doctors called me in to tell me they want to end life support because they say there is no hope of any quality of life as the damage is to an area that all the rest of the brain activity has to pass through to get to the body. My soul mate can move his eyes from side to side, cough, move his right arm so that his elbow is bent and when I have held his hand he has squeezed it and also tapped me 4 times perfectly with his index finger. While I hold his hand he has stroked the back of it with the tips of his finger and has moved his fingers when my hair brushed through them. He jumps at loud noises and fell asleep to me stroking his head for 20 minutes, something he has always asked me to do. They want to withdraw the ventilator to end his life and if he keeps breathing they want to start end of life care and not use antibiotics if he catches a chest infection.
Please could someone advise. I am desperate and do not know what to do. I do not want to drag his suffering out, but I am scared that the doctors could just be too negative about it. What if he could miraculously pull through. They say they believe he is not conscious and never will be based on the area that is damaged, but what if my partner defies the odds? Does anyone have experience of that part of the brain being damaged?? I’m scared if I agree to ending life support I could be robbing him of the beautiful future we always planned and that I do desperatley. need. He’s only 30. Am I being cruel or am I nieve to listen to the neuro surgeons every word? Please help, I am running out of time.
