Praying for our healthy rainbow

I'll be 15 weeks pregnant on Thursday. We have 2 Angel babies through 2 separate miscarriages previous to this pregnancy. Although we're out the 'danger zone' and we've heard our babies beat the other day, I still have the fear that we might lose this baby.

I know the fear is normal but I've been getting migraines which the doctor has said is tension headaches through stress. I've suffered with depression and anxiety since the loss of our babies. I'm just wondering if anyone has been in a similar position and has any advice on how they got through it x

24 Replies

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  • I had a miscarriage after IVF and now I’m 22 weeks pregnant. Although I have started to relax slightly I keep having bouts of fear that I’m not going to get to the end of this pregnancy. I wish I didn’t feel that way and could enjoy the whole pregnancy.

    Don’t know what any good advice is as I can’t relax fully myself but I suppose we just have to stay positive and believe it is our time.

    Maybe when you get to your 20 week scan it might help. Have you got any other scans booked before 20 weeks? Xx

  • I'm the same! I've relaxed a bit but still get waves of doubt and worry. I feel awful not being able to enjoy the pregnancy as much as I would like to.

    I've booked a private scan on the 21st to find out the sex for my fiance's birthday so only gotta wait 11 days. As excited as I am, I just dread they'll say them awful words to us.

    Glad to hear everything is well with you and your baby! :) xx

  • Aw I did a private scan too and I was also dreading it coz I had also invited my dad and sister along so was scared that if it’s bad news they were gonna be there too.

    I don’t think we are ever going to relax and won’t even when they are born as that brings a whole loads of new worries.

    Hope your scan goes well xx

  • I'm afraid it doesn't get any easier lmao, even at 30 weeks I still worried :) it does get easier but I still wiped and checked for blood every time I went to toilet xx

  • Brill 😂. I've relaxed a bit since we've had the 13 week scan but I just feel awful for not being able to enjoy the pregnancy as much as I'd like to. I've tried consciously not to check as much but I still find myself doing it.

    Nice to hear everything is going well with your pregnancy :) xx

  • I've had my little one she's 7 months old now, but when I was pregnant I had a lot of bleeding, I had sacks that kept getting popped it was a lot of blood that literally looked like my waters had broken it was so heavy, so not all bleeding in pregnancy is as uncommon 9/10 people experience it at some point during pregnancy, take your time eat well, and enjoy it, anxiety is bad for baby, being scared of miscarriage is totally normal and is everything was fine at scan then you will be fine :) try and enjoy it as much as possible

  • I'm trying hun. Thank you x

  • Congratulations! Lovely news and yes past 13 weeks so that's so positive! I had two miscarriages in past year and I'm now 29 weeks plus 2!

    We are so excited but can't help but feel anxious. Just saying my prayers and trying to stay calm cos that's what's best for my baby. We now have worry that she's small but being monitored and just hope all goes well

    Good luck x

  • That's lovely to hear you're doing well! Just trying to put my feet up and relax really! Im sure everything will be fine! Thank you :) x

  • I haven't had any miscarriages and my heart goes out to you. But I still have horrible anxiety about this pregnancy that comes and goes. It is an IVF pregnancy after many, many years of heartbreak as we unsuccessfully tried to get pregnant. I have had some bleeding in this pregnancy too which hasn't helped! I've got my 20-week scan in exactly a week and am terrified that I'll get bad news. This probably isn't helpful because I've got no tips on how to control the anxiety - I certainly haven't been able to! But I wanted to let you know you aren't alone in feeling worried. I am just hoping it will get progressively easier. In the meantime I'm trying to keep myself busy and do some fun things to take my mind off it X

  • Praying for you hun! It has been helpful. It's good to know other people are feeling how I'm feeling and it helps getting it off your chest too!

    I'm trying to keep busy but I'm at that stage where I'm just so exhausted all I want to do is rest after work 😂! Will have to start going out on my days off for nice walks somewhere with our dog, give us all a change of scenery!

    We just have to pray luck is on our side and our babies will be fine and healthy :) xx

  • I think us, rainbow mums will never ever have a nice, stress-free pregnancies. Women who didn't go through loss can't fully understand the fear, the constant thought at the back of our minds... Mine will stay there until I actually see my baby girl here with us in Feb... Wish your pregnancy was successful xxx

  • My friend is a couple of weeks in front of me and she's concerned about losing fter being there when we lost our angels and she tried to help me but with her not having gone through it even she knows she could never fully understand.

    We're due beginning of April so just have to keep praying I guess! All the best with your baby girl! It'll all be worth it! Xx

  • I told my friend just to be with me when I lost mine, talk to me about everyday things and when I feel like telling her about my feelings just listen. Good luck with yours :)

  • Hi,

    I’ve suffered 2 miscarriages and am now 17w4d. It’s such a hard time and I totally understand how you feel. We’ve had 2 scans which showed everything is fine but it’s still hard not to worry.

    When I’m feeling really low I try to remind myself that as far as I know I’m currently pregnant and that is amazing! And to remind myself that whatever happens is out of my control so to try and enjoy it as much as possible.

    Some days are better than others, but just breathe and keep as calm as possible. You tube has some pregnancy meditation videos that might help, or another trick is to allow yourself 15 mins a day to worry, out of that time of the thoughts creep in just remind yourself that’s for worry time and try and put to the back of your mind. Easier said than done I know!

    Good luck, I’m hopeful everything will work out for you.

    Sian

  • Hi Sian,

    Thank you so much for replying! I am trying to remind myself everything is okay at the moment but with still having a bit of anxiety, once the thought comes into my head, I let it escalate or one day I'll get stomach cramps n be fine, the next I'll get them and I'm convinced something bad is going happening. Maybe that 15 minute worry time will actually help! Definitely going to try it!

    My midwife did suggest meditation to try and relax me. I am constantly trying to remind myself stress is no good for the baby but like you said some days are better than others n on bad days, I get so worked up I get a tension headache for 12 hours or so.

    Will definitely try both your suggestions hun.

    Glad to hear everything is okay with you and your baby :).

    Thank you!

    Charlotte x

  • I have never miscarried but our baby had an enlarged heart and was missing the valve In his liver that controlled his blood supply for the whole nine months. He was delivered by c-section and it was touch and go for abit. My son is now 12 weeks old and as strong as an ox.

    Keep praying and hoping my love. Good will happen

  • So glad he's doing well! Thanks hun x

  • Any updates on your situation are you okay xx

  • I'm not doing too bad hun. We have our private scan this Saturday so hopefully I'll be able to relax more then. Thank you for asking :). Hope everything is well with you! X

  • Ohh thats good news has the bleeding stopped? Me and little one are great thank you x

  • I haven't had bleeding with this pregnancy hun. I've been a bit concerned recently as I've been ill and after 2 weeks of feeling fine with no symptoms, I had period pain and nausea. Been for an appointment with our midwife today and she said baby is absolutely fine :)! So I'm trying to relax a bit now!

    Glad everything is well with you! Xx

  • Ohh yes apologies was a different poster haha, glad everything is going well keep up the good work :)

  • Just wanted to thank everyone for their comments. We had a private scan at 16+2. Baby is doing well and is healthy. We also found out that we're having a baby boy! Keeping on praying for our son and hoping he'll be born healthy <3

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