Am I suppose to be feeling like this??

I found out I was pregnant with n.o2 in march this year and then in may the worst happened I lost the baby then I found out I was pregnant again in sept but was not excited at all was more scared cause of what happened in may then last month my nan died and a week after her funeral my mum od and now I'm just not in the mood for my lil boys firtst haircut on tue or his first birthday on the 16th (which would also be the due date for the baby I lost) and I'm not in the mood for mine and the boyfriends anniversary on 21st or for the boyfriends birthday on 23rd or xmas and new year I'm just feeling so low and not excited about anything is this normal?

6 Replies

  • Hi, you've been through an awful lot this year, so no wonder you are eeling down - a birth, and a lot of tragic circustnaces, any one of which would affect you. So, I think that you are feeling fairly normal. But, that doesn't meant that you shoudn't speak with either yuor midwife, health visitor or gp to get some help with this, as they may be able to suggest ways of dealing with everything - and this doesn't meanyou are a bad um, ore that you area very good mum becuase you know your not feeling fantastic and are trying to do something about it.

  • I agree with have been through Soooo much and your still trying to process it all. Hope you feel better soon.


  • I agree with Flowergirl. You have had so much to deal with it's no wonder you feel low but acknowledging that there is a problem means that you're a step closer to sorting it. You must talk to someone. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't know so well. Try you GP ir health visitor. I think it is important that you talk to your boyfriend as he needs to offer emotional as well as practical support so that you can work in getting through this. I googled and found this website:

    Perhaps you can use this as a starting point? Try not to feel bad about not feeling excited. You are still a brilliant mum because you have organised these things in spite of feeling so low. I hope you do speak to someone and feel more like yourself soon. Xxx

  • You poor thing. Given everything you've been through, what you're feeling is completely normal. I hope you are getting good support.

  • Hi, you have been through an awful lot in this past year and considering how young you are I think you're coping amazingly. xx

    I'm so sorry for your losses.. your baby and your nan, and also you probably don't have the same help and support from your mum if she's grieving the loss of her mum. I know what it's like to have a parent od as I went through this as a child so can relate a little bit. Maybe u and your mum can be there for each other? Also your partner probably wants to help all he can so try to talk to him about how u feel. Try not to feel pressurised into doing what u think you ought to do in terms of anniversaries, Xmas etc. Society has a lot to answer for, placing social expectations on us all... I don't think anyone would feel like celebrating (Xmas etc) in your situation.

    I think we can become overloaded with different emotions at times in our lives and you have got a lot of very sad life events to deal with at the moment, together with unfortunate coincidences in dates. It's like we just go into emotion-shut-down mode, which is probably why you're not excited about your little ones birthday on the 16th and Xmas etc.. The feelings and love u have for your baby and baby-on-the-way are still there, they are just being swamped by all the other emotion.

    What matters is that you look after yourself, your baby and your baby-on-the-way. Involve your partner so that he can help and support you. Maybe you could go to see your GP or health visitor together, who would be able to signpost u in the right direction in terms of help, advice, support, counselling etc. There's a lot of help out there from lots of different agencies and groups, don't struggle on. There's also lots of ladies on this forum who are here to offer advice and support.

    Remember... It takes a stronger person to ask for help xx

  • Thanks ladies sorry for the really late reply I went to my gp and I feel a lot better in myself now thank you xx

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