Oh man. Here we go again!

[TexasLawman]

The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”

“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, “OK. Go ahead.”

Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”

The auditor thinks a moment and says, “It’s a bet.”

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”

The auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

“Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

“Are you OK?” the auditor asks.

“Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it.”

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador]

Ha! Good one! Tell me, is it raining in Texas?

[TexasLawman in reply to carolek572]

It will be tomorrow. That’s what the weatherman says, but it’s Texas and that means it’s likely to change.

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador in reply to TexasLawman]

I wish that I were a weather'man'. Being wrong so many times, and still be employed!

[TexasLawman in reply to carolek572]

I’d like to be the weatherman in San Diego. A 6 figure salary and your on air for 5 seconds. Here is how it would work:

Let’s go to Jim for the weather. Jim, what’s the weather like?

Well Tom, it’s nice. Back to you.

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador in reply to TexasLawman]

[NXNWsupportgroup in reply to TexasLawman]

If you don't like the weather in Texas...wait a few minutes. But, whatever you do, do not trust what the weatherman tells you!

[Hidden]

Awesome! LOL

[jimeka]

I have heard that before but it still made me laugh, thank you 😊

[2littletime]

That was a good one...I'll wear the smile the rest of the day..😁

[TexasLawman in reply to 2littletime]

I’m glad! Mission accomplished.

[leking1]

You made me laugh again! Have a great day! Linda

[janetb1968]

What a fab grandad - he is well funny xxxxx 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻❤️

[rjoneslaw]

That’s a good one. I’m going to have to share that

[rjoneslaw in reply to rjoneslaw]

If you can put out funny jokes like this and the other post that have been hilarious I can tell you this your podcast when you get it up and running will be a hit.

I would also say someone will catch hold of it and spot light it in mainstream media or however they pickup things

[IFwczs]

Fantastic, made my day again! Thank you!

[mrsmike9]

Oh, too funny!!!

[Texandyroe]

🤪😂🤣

[twooldcrows]

wow that is great would of been great to be there during all of this....ahhahhhha...good one ...keep them coming ...

[Peruzzot]

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[pamgarner]

[Sweetheartonvdayl]

Haha Haha. Soo funny LOL 😂