no motivation and feeling useless

[FibroWorrier]

ok ... So quick background .. I bought a house. A house that needs renovating. My wife is amazing and does everything.

i can't help but feel useless and a waste of space. It's getting so bad that I am actually starting to wonder why she is even with me. What do I bring to the table? Nothing.

but I have no motivation to do anything when I get home from work all I want to do is sleep. how can I change that?

[LeighBlyth]

Have you talked to your wife about how you feel? It doesn't sound like you are lacking motivation (if you were, you wouldn't feel so bad about not doing things). Relationships should be about sharing and support. Both ways. Maybe you can't do the physical work, but I doubt your wife married you just for that!

The physical effects of fibro are hard enough to deal with (the pain, the fatigue, the weird sensations), the mental effects are worse over time.

I used to feel useless, lazy ... I wanted to do stuff, but I just didn't have the energy. I was depressed, I blamed myself for not trying harder, but I just didn't have the physical strength. I had to rest. Realising it wasn't "me" that was the problem, it was my body, was a big step forward for me.

Are you working full time?

What kind of quality of sleep to do you get?

[Gulfstream_Maggie in reply to LeighBlyth]

I completely empathise with you ❤️ this.

After a very acrimonious divorce and long wait for the settlement, I find myself in a similar position.

My current partner is both understanding and supportive, but I continue to feel guilty.

All I can say is talk your feelings through with your wife. Take each day as it comes and don't overdo things on your good day. Plan small, achievable goals and be damned how long it takes.

It'll be done when it gets done!

All the best for your labours.

[FibroWorrier in reply to LeighBlyth]

Thank you for this ... I am working full time sometimes 60hrs a week when my body lets me. I have insomnia and also PTSD so I am lucky if I get 3 hours but this has been the case for many years.

My partner is great she has always been very supportive and she says she doesn't see me as disabled. But sometimes that also doesn't help because I feel I cant achieve her goals

Thank you for listening