Worries

[MelSupportAdmin-Ire]

What's your biggest worry at the moment about your Melanoma diagnosis

[Stage4mom]

I'm worried about how this is affecting my family, my son got pulled out of class by a guidance counsellor she wanted to know if the reason he was struggling with grades was because of my cancer. Was he worried about me? he told me he had to say yes because she would think he was lousy if he wasn't worried about me!! He's struggling because of the workload. It was only them that decided it had to be me. I'm actually doing great and now regretting my decision to tell the school about my illness over two years ago. They have never contacted me about any of these concerns, he was discussed at a meeting and they decided it was because of me he was struggling so this counsellor took it upon themselves to "chat" to him without even speaking to me about it I'm so pissed off right now not everything is about melanoma so why do people try to make it so if they took the time to speak to those involved this could have been avoided, now he is worried about me because of what was said to him

[MelSupportAdmin-Ire Administrator in reply to Stage4mom]

I'm really sorry to hear you had a negative experience with your sons school when you reach out and communicate you naturally hope it will be a two way deal. Have you contacted them to resolve the situation

[AnneMJ in reply to Stage4mom]

What a frustrating experience, at your sons expense. I'm suspecting that this could have to do with some people not being able to face people who have cancer. I have read the ICS's booklet called Lost for Words. It really is an eye opener. Here's the link. cancer.ie/sites/default/fil...

It might help. It's amazing how frightened people can be about talking to people like 'us! Maybe, this guidance counsellor (or whoever else was involved in the plan) thought they were doing the right thing by not including (worrying) you? Though, it really was the wrong move where your son was involved. It might be an idea to check out the booklet and to go visit the principal yourself, and explain how you would like future issues to be dealt with. They would probably appreciate it. I am a teacher myself, though a primary teacher. It might also be an idea to include your son in the chats, seeing as he appears to be worrying about you in all this too. You sound like a great mum and very motivated. Maybe try to remember that nobody set out to upset either of you. They just ended up messing up badly. Obviously, the school is not used to dealing with this kind of situation. You'd be helping the by giving them a better perspective.... all that said, I could be completely wrong! I hope things have improved for you both. Sorry for ranting Xxxx

[Stage4mom in reply to AnneMJ]

I eventually got a return phone call and an apology it still feels hurtful though what that teacher did but the school at least seem to be more focused on my son now so hopefully he will get the actual attention and help needs

[AnneMJ in reply to Stage4mom]

That's something at least. I hope your son has some peace of mind about it now. Im presuming you contacted them ... Well done you 😊