This week was a tough one, someone at work posted my status with rather explicit pictures of me on a staff notice board at work. I work in a hospital with over 3,500 staff so it really was upsetting. Despite the fact I’m not infectious and have been undetectable for at least 5 years, they don’t know that do they? Stigma is still rife!
I’ve decided to proceed to a formal investigation and the police will be involved.
I believe my ex did it as we just completed on the transfer of our house and he was really upset about it.
I’ve decided that I’m a strong person and his actions do not define me, I will proceed and maybe if I’m further outed I’ll use it to help battle stigma.
HIV has a face, my face, I’m poz and that is not something I am ashamed of!!!
Be strong my friends.
Written by
Chrissuffolk
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Obviously there are the workplace processesses that MUST be followed and sincerely urge that you see it to its full and final conclusion - many don't unfortunately. Ex or otherwise, whoever did that is scum. Part of the detritus that floats around in the gay scenes around the world - full of woe about how they have been treated throughout life and always ready to hurt with an insiders view of what will cause the greatest hurt. Outing someones HIV status, even in our modern world of U=U, is low and distasteful.
On my 34 year journey, the stigma has not changed. People would lead you to believe that it has...but those on the receiving end, myself included, beg to differ. I was recently told by a Millennial friend, after mentioning my status in a conversation (about health) with not a jot of irony in his voice, 'PrEP will mean no more moaning old HIV men, talking about people dropping like flies, over and over again!' He was also under the impression that if we had all taken our tablets when we should - it would have been all sorted by now.
Hopefully the NHS will do their thing. Although, in light of the current domestic political climate, doing the right thing - and conduct a swift investigation.
I'm with you! If you need anyone to chat to about it .... SOLIDARITY SISTA!
Unfortunately I doubt there's anything much the Police can do about this . If your ex is a health care professional I'm sure there would be a case for disciplinary action against him , but other than that I can't see what action could be taken . At least working in a large organisation like NHS there's a degree of anonymity , as most people will have no idea who you are . Those who do know you will most likely talk about it for a while and then it will be forgotten , hopefully .
Chris, I was diagnosed around 2001. Growing up isolated in rural parts, my adoptive family said “we don’t have people like you around here”. I had already fled to London / globally, not having fitted in, so this was the last straw. We all seek connection and validation. No one asks for humiliation and worse. Sending my wishes, and happy you are actively confronting being HIV outed. The solidarity for us people is out there. Warm regards, Mark
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