Not even Friday!

[DrunkJam_UK]

I missed last Friday cos I don't want to clog up the feed!

Also because DH had pneumonia last week.

Luckily, he's doing better today, and is allowed to travel with us on holiday next week.

My sister is not looking likely to get through her experience.

I am feeling generally overwhelmed. I keep waking in the early hours in case I have missed my mum texting or calling with news. I also keep worrying about not being available to help more. AND even though I have resolved not to cancel trips (because we as a household family) know we are short of time to make memories too, and the kids NEED to get away from illness and cancer and have some fun. But I already feel guilty for putting them first.

ANYWAY.

How's everyone else? J got a completely clean bill of health from the Cardiac consultant on Monday (so his collapsed lung seems to be just entirely spontaneous, but we'll see his lung specialist in November to check everything) M went on her first EVER sleepover with a friend, and has come home desperate to get a kitten.

[Ghounds]

I'm so very sorry about your sister, your distress and anxiety about her must be constantly on your mind and no wonder you can't sleep.

I speak as a lifelong insomniac and know how draining this can be and how you wake up more tired than when you went to bed ....

Good news that DH has recovered from his pneumonia in time for your holiday and that J has had the all clear too.

M was very brave to stay away overnight, always a big thing for a youngster. Sounds as if she had a great time, as for a kitten who would end up looking after it??? I think I can guess 😀.

Much the same here. Mother had a biopsy on her back muscle to try to stage her lung cancer (it's been there three months and already spread). Should get the results by this time next week and they will let her know if they can offer any treatment or if it's palliative care only.

I feel incredibly guilty that I'm shielding and cannot attend with her.

Not that she wants me there but that's not the point .....

I know anyone reading this here will understand.

[DrunkJam_UK in reply to Ghounds]

Thank you for your kind words. I hope your Mother get's as good news as possible.

You are right, good re pneumonia (it always scares me as he always gets so ill and refuses to admit illness.)

M was VERY brave indeed, I am hoping this bodes well for the holiday. (and she is not getting a kitten)

Also very good news re J, yes

I understand your guilt, but, I am here to tell you that you are also allowed to care for yourself and your health is important. YOU are important.

[Ghounds in reply to DrunkJam_UK]

Thank you so much. My mother is unusually positive and accepting of whatever the outcome will be which is something.

I remember the only time I stayed away from home without my parents was with my mother's parents. I was meant to stay a week but only lasted about three days.....I was in absolute disgrace. Their house was Victorian, dark and rather scary and even though we visited every week being there overnight was just too much.

[2003UK]

Gosh it must have been a great shock for you all when OH got pneumonia and I bet apart from fear and caring in the back of your mind was your holiday coming up. But he has made a miraculous recovery taking all his health challenges into accountYour mind and emotions must also be with your sister and you are completely powerless.

However I am so glad that you have resolved to go on your family holiday, you all need it 100%.

Hopefully the holiday will make M's overwhelming desire for a kitten wane.

I am sure that you must be so, so overwhelmed especially if you are not sleeping well. I find if I do not sleep everything is just too much for me to cope with.

All's well here except trivially I am without a fridge and I am using 2 cool bags (cool being the operative word) My brie cheese is running everywhere. Luckily I also have a small freezer, so I am rotating ice bags like a military operation.

I have to say my son was absolutely wonderful and came round after work and managed to remove the old, very heavy, fridge off it's plinth and got it onto the kitchen floor and then removed the plinth around the fitted cupboards. Why do builders leave so much rubbish where it cannot be seen? Anyway it was no mean feat and he ended up a trifle dusty and cobwebby.

John Lewis delivers my new one on Monday, then we have to get an electrician to wire it in.

I shall stop this now otherwise you will still be reading this whilst you are packing.

Have the most wonderful family holiday you so, so deserve it.

[DrunkJam_UK in reply to 2003UK]

Oh my goodness! now is not the time to be without a fridge!Good job to your son! I hope it's all fixed as soon as possible!

Yeah, it's all exhausting, I am trying to pack right now, but, of course, no one else knows where anything is, and has no idea that they are supposed to know what they need for themselves on holiday!

M doesn't want to go at all. Because she is anxious about travelling.

My sister has palliative care at home. (I know palliative means 'not with intent to cure' and y'all are used to that - A lot of DH care is palliative, of course, but, hers is more geared to end of life)

My DAD has also just been diagnosed with cancer, they are doing spread and staging info at the moment.

Which is a disaster, becuase my mother has high care needs, and with my sister living there as well, a LOT of helping and support has fallen to my brother, who is being awesome.

I just feel horrible. I CAN'T help, because, DH is ill, my kids are the youngest, and I don't drive. But, I feel worse, becuase I am jus going on holiday!

I am also struggling with health anxiety (although if I dismiss every seemingly minor thing as anxiety, I might miss something important.

I really feel like this holiday is at the worst time, I don't really want to go either.