My Post-Partum Journey | People of He... - HealthUnlocked La...

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My Post-Partum Journey | People of HealthUnlocked - Meet Emily (Part 2)

MarketingHU
MarketingHU

For those of you who remember Emily's story of a couple of weeks ago, you'd like this one. Emily writes a follow up of her journey with Post-Partum depression - her story is a true inspiration that we can all overcome anything, with the right support. Can you relate? Tell us in the comments below. 💕

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"Hello again. As I’m writing this, I’m amazed at how fast the last year and a half went. My beautiful daughter is going to be eighteen months just next month. And we are having a lot of fun.

The last article I wrote was about my initial week as I was admitted to the hospital for Postpartum Psychosis, and mostly about how people reacted or responded to my unusual behavior. I’m happy to report my relationships with my family members are good and strong. I feel less shame; but I do admit sometimes it creeps up on me.

I remember thinking during my daughter’s baptism in May: These people supported me through the thick and thin. I was struggling back then, and they were there to help me up. You’ve probably heard the saying It takes a village to raise a child. Well, I have known now that it takes at least half that village to help the mom.

Honestly, sometimes I say to myself I just lived through possibly the worst-case mental episode anyone could have, and I survived! I know that sounds dramatic, but it’s true. What’s one of the worst things, mentally? Feeling like you don’t know what is going on. At least that’s how I would define it.

But you get through it, you wake up and feel a little better than the day before and consider that progress and a good sign that things will look up.

Something I don’t talk to anyone about is when you’re weaned off the medications. This can happen gradually, but it can feel like there’s abrupt shifts to your mentality. I was weaned off Depakote and halidol. And let me tell you – I was MUCH more awake and myself after that! But, I admit it was probably needed to stabilize myself. It takes COURAGE, though, to say to yourself I’m getting better. I won’t relapse. I remember my Aunt on my dad’s side exclaiming “Well what if it doesn’t work!” Ye of little faith, I say.

Life with my baby girl has been rewarding. But anyone that went through PP knows it takes time. There’s a lot of inner healing that is needed. I sometimes get all Journalism-ey and want to do an investigative report ratting out Palos Hospital’s unit for how they treated me. They actually added to my confusion.

You want those early days with your baby back! That precious time. And sometimes you blame everyone, and anyone. I even wrote a yelp review about how my OB/Gynecologist didn’t visit me or follow up properly, which led or at least contributed to my hospital stay a week later.

Sadly, you don’t get that particular early time back, because you were unwell. Whether family members should have not tried to self medicate you at home or not with xanax; whether you were breastfeeding or not; whether you saw your doctor and he didn’t question anything, it is done. Whether you have a mental disorder or not, it is done. Whether your aunt urges you to apply for disability when you don’t; whether your husband asks you to fill out FMLA, and you do, it is done.

You can’t undo it; but you can grow from it. The way I’m choosing to grow is to educate. THIS WHOLE THING could have been prevented with vigilance. And women don’t have to feel shame alone! They don’t have to cope alone or try and find fault within themselves. This isn’t my fault, nor my husband’s. And that truth has given me so much comfort.

But getting back to my recovery. One of the things I remember doing is ordering my favorite eyeshadow from Sephora online. I ordered two sets of Amethyst Obsession, which I applied after months of not wearing any makeup. Best purchase ever. I also ordered Jewel, the singer’s book of poems, A Night Without Armor. I also went to the dentist to get one of my front teeth polished. I had a brown spot from not brushing at the hospital. It was expensive, but man did I feel like a model afterward! I started to smile in my selfies. I started getting in a routine with my baby. At six months we felt perfectly in sync. And I still feel that way a year and a half later. You have to take care of yourself too.

I wondered how her first Birthday would be. Would I dote on the good times or would I still think of the traumatic time? I thought of the good times, and how thankful I am for her, and took the bad time in stride. It was a sense of great accomplishment! We kept the party small, thankfully. I enjoyed it very much, and I believe so did everyone else! Happy First Birthday to my daughter and to many more birthdays!!

- Emily"

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Emily has given us consent to share her story.

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Stories on HealthUnlocked have an incredible way of raising awareness around certain conditions and wellbeing needs, as well as inspiring people who might be in the same situation as you. Would you like to share your health journey? Email communications@healthunlocked.com to learn more.

15 Replies
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we all deal with it in different ways ...so glad you found your way back with good thoughts....my daughter helped her girlfriend thru it and all is okay and the boys are all grown up now....love and much happiness .....take care and enjoy her ....

Thank you dear! I will 💗

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to EmilySue

Hi

You have been so strong to have coped with all this and you are a lovely too. Take care and stay safe. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx 😘

EmilySue
EmilySue
in reply to Hidden

Thank you so much Lynne!! 😘😘🤗🤗

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to EmilySue

You are very welcome. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx 😘

Bless you .. thank you for sharing and well done xx

Thank you very much. I feel very grateful for my recovery.

Dear LeilahHU, You endured an extremely rough time in your life and came out on the other side. I admire your strength! My best to you and enjoy your beautiful little girl! ;o)

Thank you <3 My husband and I are enjoying her very much! Especially now we are home more. Hope you are doing well too <3

Thankyou. Thankyou. This is such a beautiful sharing of such a traumatic dark time in your life .but so very hope inspiring and beautiful account of your recovery May Godbless x you and your beautiful precious daughter. I cried reading this but ended up smiling with love and joy for you.

Aww thank you for reading and sharing your reaction!! It was a dark, uncertain time, but my husband and I are so much stronger because of it. It also taught me to trust that my family has got my back, and also what is truly important. Thank you again <3<3<3

I am so happy you have come through it all Godbless x and keep smiling take care x ❤️❤️❤️🌸

Very inspiring to read this update, and wishing you and your lovely daughter the best, Emily.

Zest :-)

God Bless You .Stay strong and be yourself.You and your family have a wonderful life .Poppy Storey

Wow, I didn't read the first part of your story, but it sounds harrowing. Well, you have had the strength of mind, and I use that phrase purposely to get back on track, and even more - to forge a relationship and a bond with your daughter and that's amazing.

I'm sure you have difficult times ahead, bringing up children isn't easy, but many moments of joy too. Enjoy them :)

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