Hope you're all having a great start to 2020 so far. I'm pleased to get started with the People of HealthUnlocked series again as, just in case you didn't know this, it is all of YOU that make this platform great. Thank you for being here. This week, I'd like to introduce you to Emily, a beautiful new mum with a story that many of you might relate to. Comment below if you've ever felt similar at any point in your life. <3
"Postpartum Psychosis is the worst. I have Bipolar Disorder, so I feel I have liberty to say this. I have had a couple manic episodes, but nothing can compare to the despair and embarrassment felt after PP.
I just saw my Psychiatrist and confronted him about why I wasn’t sent to the hospital sooner. I was released from the hospital five days after giving birth. I told my husband a couple times, “ I don’t feel like myself.” I was trying to breastfeed, and therefore not getting much sleep. I acted funny my last day in the hospital, running out of the room and screaming “Doctor!” My husband thought it was odd, but didn’t take action.
There was a woman from the hospital who sat down to talk to me, but she was seriously talking so slow that I thought she must be slow or think I’m slow! I was so annoyed. She asked me a question, and I just told her “I just need more time.”
I was released on a Tuesday on the criteria I met with my doctor (Psychiatrist). We went to his office that night. This is very obviously stupid because he is on staff at the hospital I gave birth at! Somebody should have REQUESTED a consult! But anyway my dad and husband took me to see him. I didn’t realize it then; but I hallucinated in the waiting room. I saw a young boy (maybe 5 years old) fall on his face. Nobody was helping him get up – not even his mom who was with him! I kept standing up and trying to go down the hallway and leave, but my husband kept bringing me back.
Someway, I met with my doctor.
I don’t think the guys, my dad or husband, said a peep about me getting up several times in the lobby. I was obviously very anxious. And I kept feeling like something terrible was going to happen. It felt like the lights were going to go out, or my doctor (again) was talking so slowly and like a robot, I felt like he was going to pass out – kind of like a puppet when the puppeteer lets go of the strings.
Something was wrong. After asking a few questions to the guys, my Psychiatrist finally said, “I want to hear from you, Emily. How do you feel?” I must have said something half coherent because he sent me home with my usual meds (I took pre-pregnancy). [These meds treat the moods of Bipolar Disorder, not Psychosis.]
Just about every member of my dad’s family bombarded me that week with visits, after I stated my intention to not have visitors until after a week. Over the next six days (Tuesday through Sunday), I got much worse, but nobody took action until my sister came in from out of state. She changed her flight to be about two weeks earlier to see me.
Most people did NOT help. My aunt was somewhat understanding and talked to me like a real person. My dad tried. But my sister’s initial focus was showing me her Halloween costume, doing my hair, giving me (blue) lip gloss, and the next few days it was on decorating and cleaning, NOT really getting me better. “You need to sleep!” She almost yelled at me. “I Know!!” I would say. She quickly saw that I wasn’t sleeping. (I’d like to insert a picture here of my tired, zombie-like face.) I video recorded myself (like a YouTuber), which was actually a good idea. I also talked to myself a bit. There’s even one video of me talking to my cats.
Let me explain, I was acting very out of character. Though I have a mental illness, I have been very stable for about ten years. And only one episode of depression and one of mania before that (2009, 2013). But overall, I led a pretty normal, successful life. I worked a Full Time job most my life.
I would not wish PP on my worst enemy.
I was in the hospital (Psych unit) for twelve days. My doctor tried different medicines (to treat the psychosis) to help me sleep. Finally, I began to think more clearly and get slightly better. I was released on a Friday I believe, to the care of my husband.
I went home, but so much had dramatically changed. I felt unconfident. I didn’t have much experience in being a mother taking care of a baby.
But I was lucky. I bounced back fairly quickly.
Some women say that PP taught them what is really important. I find this to be true in my life. To go through all that with the hospital stay is a big stressor. But when I look at my baby I am reminded that she is mine and I’m so blessed to have her! I am also so grateful for my family who surrounded me when needed."
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Emily has given us consent to share her story.
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Stories on HealthUnlocked have an incredible way of raising awareness around certain conditions, as well as inspiring people who might be in the same situation as you. Would you like to share your health journey? Email me at communications@healthunlocked.com
xo, Leilah
All the best for 2020 to you too!
It can be ever so helpful to have something agreed in advance. 
