How can recipients cope with feelings of regret after using donor eggs?!!!
ivf!!: How can recipients cope with... - Infertility Support
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sam_sail01
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thnku 
silli09 for ur suggestion i will look after it
Hmm, interesting question. Simple answer though. Don't think about it. Don't tell your child. There is no shame in using donor eggs.
Hello Sam. Why do you feel that way? There really is no need to feel guilty. It is totally your choice. You can decide how you want to have children. No one has the right to make you feel guilty about it. Just because you didn't use your eggs, doesn't mean you aren't a mother to the child. Neither does it make you any ess of a woman. You still carried that child. That is no easy task. After that you will be raising the child. That is a lifelong challenge too. So, you are as much a mother as anyone who conceived without using donor eggs. What matters at the end of the day is that you did not give up. You tried harder than the average woman to have a child.
Hi there. That is an interesting question, I am glad you asked it. It really needs to be addressed. Ladies, there is no shame in going for an egg donor. How is it different from any other donation. People get transplants all the time. That does not mean they get guilty over it. So why should you? You found out that your own eggs weren't an option. So, you decided to go for a donor. There is no harm in that. In fact, it is worth appreciating. You did not give up. You made use of the available solutions.
Why to regret after donor eggs? It’s your right to become a mother n dream too then why to regret? 85% IVF procedures are successful. My aunt has been through this procedure. She is today mother of 2 darling babies. No doubt, its pain full, very pain full. You have to be strong enough if you want children in your lap. If you are regretful then do go for counselling. It will surely help you. Take care of your diet and health. Good luck.
Hi there. I'm a little unsure about what you mean. Are you receiving donor eggs? Or are you donating? I don't see why you would be guilty either way. There is no harm in using donor eggs. For example, would be guilty if something else was donated? Of course not! Then why in this case? You needed eggs. Donors could provide them. Then why not? Don't feel guilty. Be proud that you went for the unconventional method. You were strong enough to keep fighting. I hope this helps put things in perspective.
Hello Sam. Honey, there is no shame in it. Donor eggs are no big deal. It doesn't make you any less of a mother. If you are thinking of using donor eggs then I'm assuming you can't ovulate. Either that or they can't be fertiized. Either way it doesn't matter. You still carried the child.On top of that, you will raise them too. That makes you more of a mother, than just donating eggs. So, don't think like that. Be happy that there is a solution available. Feel free to message me if you feel yourself getting such feelings again. I am just a message away. Cheers!
Hi there. I don't see why you feel that way. Think of it this way. If you adopt a child would you feel guilty then? Similarly, with surrogacy. Would that make you guilty? Then why does using donor eggs make you guilty. Would it be better to just give up? Of course not. Don't worry too much about it. If the opportunity is available to you then avail it. It might help you defeat infertility. That's a good enough reason I think. Good luck with your decision. Let us know how it goes.
Hi Trupti. So happy to hear that. When did you start the ICSI procedure? What I'm trying to ask is how long does it take to conceive? Also, what other things should be kept in mind while going for ICSI? I am trying to write a thesis on the successful infertility solutions available. It would be great if I could get personal experiences.
Hi Sam. I'm sad to see you feel that way. There is no shame in using donor eggs. When your own eggs aren't available, then this is the only option available. Either this or adoption. So, why should you not go for it? Someone suggested not telling your child about it. I see the reasoning behind it. However, with all due respect, I disagree. Do tell your child. This way they'll know what lengths you went to in order to have them. It shows that you are a fighter. Don't feel guilty for trying. It's disappointing when you don't try at all. Good luck!
Hello. I'm a little uncertain about what you mean. Is it true that you are accepting donor eggs? Or, on the other hand would you say you are giving? I don't perceive any reason why you would be blameworthy in any case. There is no mischief in utilizing donor eggs. For instance, would be liable if something different was given? Obviously not! At that point why for this situation? You required eggs. Benefactors could give them. At that point for what reason not? Try not to feel remorseful. Be glad that you went for the flighty technique. You were sufficiently solid to continue battling. I trust this helps place things in context.
Hi Sam. Well dear, there is no disgrace in it. Donor eggs are no major ordeal. It is one of the known procedures to become a mother and there is nothing like real or fake mother. you will still be a mother through this process. In the event that you are considering utilizing donor eggs, at that point I'm accepting you can't ovulate. Either that or they can't be fertilized. Whichever way it doesn't make a difference. Despite everything you will be carrying your pregnancy. That makes you a mother like the ones who give births naturally, than simply donor eggs. Along all this, don't think that way. Be cheerful that there is an answer accessible for your miniseries. Don't hesitate to message me on the off chance that you feel yourself getting such sentiments once more. I am only a message away. Much love and stay happy.
Hello. I don't perceive any reason why you feel that way. On the off chance that you adopt a baby, would you feel regretful at that point? Thus, with surrogacy. Would that make you liable? At that point for what reason does utilizing donor eggs make you blameworthy. Would it be smarter to simply surrender? Obviously not. Try not to stress excessively over it. However. that the open door is accessible to you at that point benefit it. It may enable you to crush barrenness. That is an adequate reason I think. Good fortunes with your choice. Tell us how it goes.
Dear, just try to look up on the positive side of the matter, It's your undying love of parenting which leads you towards it and there is no harm in it even if your child knows about this because when someone don't easily get something then they realize what is the real worth of that thing and when you get your child after donor egg you surely going to love you in all the possible kind of ways that it doesn't even really matters to him knowing about the fact and if he does and it is a bit shocking for him but then he realizes all the love he get from you and then surely he'll understand and there is no need of embarrassment in it. It takes allot of courage to go through this process just to be a parent this way, I think anyone could understand this so just think positive and try to be positive.
That should really not be that big of a worry. But I've seen women asking this question a lot on different forums lately. Please note that millions of couples use donor eggs. There are thousands of clinics in only the US that are offering such services. This is not something you need to be ashamed of. All you need to think about is that you will get to hold your child. Don't overthink this all. It's a new technique, not that new, though, so people feel it's something you need to get embarrassed by. That is not the case. This SHOULD not be the case. This is an artificial scientific miracle. This was not possible a few years ago and now that it is we just get enough of it, now can we?
No need to regret, honey. You haven't assassinated Lincoln, have you? It's something you've done to make your dream true. Also, you are not alone in this. Thousands of babies are being born around the world through this process. On daily basis. There are so many couples who would otherwise have spent their lives being childless if it weren't for the donor eggs. You are just overthinking it, that's all. Just tell your mind that everything is fine. It's a blessing that you get to hold your child. To become a mother. Many people wish that. Goodbye!
I felt the same at the beginning of our egg donation route. (Here's my story in brief. We've been together with dh for 10 years. 2 years of which spent ttc. After we got no results we applied for a fertility expert's help. Soon I was diagnosed on severe endo. In haste we did try IUI, ICSI shots, despite dh's semen low count and motility. But it didn't work, as later we got to know my eggs were useless for the procedures. So we went on egg donation route with overseas clinic. We got our baby after shot#3.)
But all the feelings still so hurt to remember. I saw so many others moving on. Why couldn't I? Why did counseling just make me feel worse? This was my husband's only option, in a marriage with me, at being a bio dad. But I felt so guilty for taking that away from him because of my defective body. And because of my selfishness of not wanting to see him mixed with someone else!! I knew he desperately wanted his own genetic child. Even if that had to be a child that would be half another woman. He was content with the DE option. He was supportive of fostering or remaining childless. Or throwing ourselves into volunteering and helping others. I knew he was hurting too and that option sounded nice. It took really LONG for me to get there. But I'm thankful I finally meant to. We're through 3 cycles of de ivf resulting in our adorable boy, enjoying every minute of being with him. I don't know how the things would have turned out to be if we happened to fail accepting egg donation.
The path is tough and difficult, but endurable. I hope you'll soon feel better, honey, with your thoughts. Sending you my positive vibes xx
