Hi all Just two quick questions, my bloke Tim who've I've spoke about being a big bloke who is a mans man if you know what I mean...

[anne_marie]

Never shows his emotions but at the moment he keeps crying at Radom times.. It's heartbreaking to watch, when will this pass for him and also he keeps getting bad pain in his left shoulder but he can't move his left side... Is it normal to have pain?? Does it mean movement will come back to his left side? Many thanks Anne Marie

[RogerCMerriman]

It's not uncommon to get a bit emotional at times, partially if tired in my case.

It has for most part passed now close on 6 months on.

[spartan300]

I know what he is going through, when I cried I was alone too many times still am, I think it is harder to be a mans man nothing bothers us too much we can handle any situation and other people we are confident go getters who work and play hard everything is easy for us we don't suffer fools lightly and for the most part people don't mess with us we are fair and not violent only when need be. then BANG our world comes crashing down for no fault of our own I takes some handling to put it in perspective , I used to call my self the star ship enterprise if I was attacked in any way shields were activated phasers and photon torpedoes were locked on and ready to fire,

and then I was attacked by every enemy battle ship in one night called a vaccination I managed to get to an escape pod but the enterprise was damaged beyond repair, I never saw it coming or expected anything like it

so if it was the same for Tim it will get better he will have his weak moments nothing will ever be the same

you just will have to get on with life, I know that being a mans man saved me it just takes time,

as for the pain I have had pain of different types for seven years so I don't know what to say about Tim's pain,

pain killers and drugs don't work for me, last thing to say NO SURRENDER, take care both of you,

love you both, john, xxxxxxxxx

[Jennaberri]

I'm (obviously) not a man but I am struggling with the emotions since my tbi. I will find myself crying for no apparent reason, it could be watching something funny or walking down the street. My emotions are all over the place, I find it exhausting. I have been told it will pass in time. Hopefully it will pass for your fella too

[IndigoBlue]

Two years on from his stroke, my husband still gets tearful, particularly in the late evening - but it has settled down over time (emotions were previously unpredictable).

As for the pain, that's the one outcome of a serious brain injury that continues to surprise us. Best advice I can give is to keep asking your GP or doc about it - there are many medications that may help. My husband now gets Botox injected into his arm and leg to help relax the muscles, as well as pain killers that he takes at night, and it really helps. And anything is possible - he's regained more movement that we ever expected, given the severity of the stroke! x

[anne_marie]

Many thanks for all your replies .. I've mentioned it to Tim team and they are going to keep an eye on his shoulder, cos Tim isn't really consistent in responding with thumbs up or down its hard for everyone to really communicate with him.. I keep telling him to let it out and it's ok to cry but I'm not sure he's understanding what I say to him I hope he can understand me. X

[hayabusa]

As a blokey who some people cross the road to avoid just because of my appearance and being on the large side for 6foot 2" tall, living with pain can be a bit of an emotional shredder.

I have pain from many physical injuries, from full skeletal arthritis and also pain where there are no injuries because if nerve damage.

It does grind you down a bit.

Loss of previous ability is a large emotional factor for blokeys.

Being uncertain about the future is another factor.

But over all, the sense of loss is quite upsetting.

A hug goes down well, even for us blokey blokes.

What pain relief have you tried on his shoulder?

[anne_marie in reply to hayabusa]

Hi sorry that you've been in a lot of pain as well.

. Tim was never telling the right people at the right time and cos his face was blank when they lifted the arm up they didn't seem to think it was an issue.. Anyway as luck would have it a doctor was doing rounds the other day when I was there and I mention the shoulder, she lifted the should and he said no more too painful and I've never felt pain like it... It was amazing the see him say ( well mumble ) these things but still he said it..

She said she thinks it's nerve ending but she got to rule out other things and she ordered an X-ray the X-ray came back clear but Tim not said anything since about his shoulder..

It must be scary when your thoughts are mixed up and no way of saying what you're thinking or feeling..

But I think it's good that he's feeling something cos it shows he's aware even if at the moment it must be horrendous .

I'm always giving him cuddles, nothing like a cuddle. and kiss

[hayabusa in reply to anne_marie]

Having someone physically close to you who you can trust is a very major help towards any recovery.

Just having someone who loves you and cares.

My neurosurgeon thought his team of psychiatric trauma specialists could put me back together better than my lovely partner did. I nearly fell off the chair laughing at him.

She just wrapped her arms around my.broken head and held me together. She glued me back together with her love.

I would never have recovered like this without her infinite patience and love.

Sometimes it's just being there and not trying to understand.