Confused

[Meow3]

I know who I am and how I identify but it's hard to put into words or label as none of the terms I've read really seem to fit. I was hoping I could just put it out there and maybe get some feedback.

So, to start with I was assigned the gender of female at birth and I love presenting myself as female in my appearance, wearing dresses, heels, makeup etc. But I don't actually identify as being female internally or sexually? I guess. I feel like I'm a male who likes to dress up as a woman and still look down sometimes and feel like, shit, where did it go, even though its never actually been there.

I don't know if that even makes sense, but yeah...

[Sailor_Girl]

I, for one, would be interested to hear more

[ToyIla]

Hi, expression and gender identity are two different things, which I guess is why it can be pretty confusing for some individuals to figure themselves out. Maybe these feeling are worth exploring a little either on a private level (trying things to see if they're a fit for you in a space where you feel safe), or with the support of friends/family that you know/trust will get it, or the support of a counseller. There are no right or wrong answers, and no rush for you to figure everything out.

[Nanii]

Hi,

I'm on a journey myself. I can relate partly with you. I feel internally partly male. I don't mind being in a female body. I like to dress both feminine, but also masculine. In the sense that I sometimes shop at the male part of a department store. I'm not trying my best to represent myself as male, but I like to incorporate my inner maleness in my outer appearance.

When I look down, I don't have the feeling I miss something. I do have the feeling sometimes like: wtf are these 2 things doing there? They're so strange, weird bulging things suddenly popping out of my chest.

I don' mind having breasts though. I just could relate this a bit to your missing something which has never been there sometimes thing. But then a bit the other way around.

Like Toylla said, you could experiment with things, to see how far this "missing" feeling stretches. Try on male clothes or something and see how you feel. Maybe you don't like it, and it stays at that initial feeling. Maybe you do and can explore more like this. It doesn't have to end in being trans or something. There's a whole world of genderfluidity. Maybe this is a word which resonates with you?