Sacral bed sore, agitation ,miserable ,losing my hero , tremor

[Daddyishealing]

and feeling abandoned by the one human who promised her nevrlesve me bc even if physically not present we will always be together . It seems he does t want my love rt now maybe bc it's keeping him stuck in a body he's fine with but this is not my dad . My dad always wants me .

Please answer regarding tremor first or anything to help him . Anyone get relief from bed sore with sheepskin blanket underneath?

Love and healing my friends ,Erica

Ty for having carried me when I in confusion and grief could not carry myself bc knowledge once gave me more control ❤️

[Carlosbach]

Erica, your dad’s illness and decline must have taken a terrible toll on you. I hear your sadness and desperation, and it is obvious that you would do anything in your power to help him. My heart hurts for you.

I don’t have the answers you are looking for. I do know that when I’m in pain I prefer to be left alone and my mood and affect change. However, even if I’m gruff or non responsive, my love for the important people in my life never wanes - just as your father’s love for you is still sure to last.

Trust that the daddy he’s always been to you is the daddy he wants to be now. The only thing that’s changed is that the damage done to his body during his long battle has stolen from him his ability to express his feelings for his girl.

Blessings, Ron

[Daddyishealing in reply to Carlosbach]

Ty that made me cry . It's like lupron lol well in peri and Ive been on lupron yes I lost half my hair . I started meiosis my hair turned grey I lost 17 pounds . It's taken a toll and I have a progressive auto immune issue that now I feel like I'm ets plant lol as I watch him I will and nothing takes the hurt away . So I'm making him a teddy bear . What would you want to hear on your worse day . I love you or maybe I can record my sister's laughing together . Or just a mellow message I'm going to put the recorder heart inside my stuffed animal and a pic of us all together . Do you think pics would help bc he's surrounded by pics of her dead daughter for myself I always wanted to make myself a circke of love pic so that I remember in my worst pain or days that people love me but maybe that idea is too girls and I should keep it simple for him it's just so often he's just staring blankly and I thought wouldn't it be better to look at people you love or does that make it hurt more ? Any suggestions. Yes I'm desperate bc I don't know him rt now as he's more of a patient than he he is the father I know .

My job has always been as the caretaker and my sister is doing bc physically and mentally I can't . I was always closest to him and in disappointed I did this for a mean mom who was esstranged and it's the honor that got me through my grandma's death with pride ,yet I'm not the one . And it's always me . I feel he's trying to protect my body and mind and knows she can handle it better but it would have been my only relief but when I see him stand able to fit in my clothes tears steam from my eyes. I'm just not strong enough. Ty for your heartwarming message . Do you think sheep skin could help his comfort any . I'm just like him I know he lost his purpose and it's like suicide bc he feels like a burden. I know bc bedridden most of time I know I know too well soits like looking at a mirror twenty years ahead and I feel I'm facing both our mortality . Are there any virtual groups where I can make friends who can laugh at our own pain and process bc you are right I'm in therapy but it's not enough since I'm disabled and feeling so useless . I always drive him nuts lol it's part of the dance we do . But we'd always laugh ashed say Erica I still would t trade you for the world. Tyfl

[Sunlight12 in reply to Daddyishealing]

I don't know about sheepskin, but my Dad was on a down comforter and he did not get bed sores (down shifts -unlike foam, etc). I don't know if that might be something you could do to make him more comfortable?

-Sun

[Carlosbach in reply to Daddyishealing]

I'm a sentimental guy and I would love anything my daughters made with their own hands, and I would love the sound of them laughting, calling them by my nickname, or anything that would remind me of a good time. Scent is also important. I have always loved the outdoors, so I would love a bear that smelled of campfire smoke (Smokey the Bear). You know your dad best, do what suits him AND you.

I've heard good things about sheepskin, and sunlight's idea sounds good as well. I don't really have the answer.

For me it has been important to remember that my loved one would be ill, or pass whether I was there or not. But, if I can elicit a happy memory, a smile, or even comfort them by holding their hand, I may have made their journey a little easier.

As for support for you, the more the better. Often hospitals have support groups (in person and on Zoom) for caregivers and family. I believe the American Cancer Society also has support tools and groups.

Take care

[Daddyishealing in reply to Carlosbach]

You are so very sweet. Ty for touching my heart .

[j-o-h-n]

Real sheepskin...... Apply LIBERAL amount of A and D ointment (over the counter jar - Costco best price) to his bed sores...It will help heal the wounds.....

p.s. Men are normally grouchy but more so when in pain....

j-o-h-n <===<<< Senior management is about to spike my spikes....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Saturday 04/08/2023 1:36 PM DST

[groundhogy]

im very sorry to hear of you and dads troubles.