my son has FAS and im struggling with his behavior

[sharonkcox]

Hello all im really struggling with my 4 year old sons behavior. we adopted him 2 years ago and he has FAS he is alot worse with me then he is his dad he kicks and smacks me has screaming fits in supermarkets i really dont know what to do has anyone got any ideas on how to controll this.

[FASDmum]

Hi, I read your post & remembered how difficult supermarket trips were with my adopted FASD son were. He is now 14. Unfortunately I can't offer you any tips as none of the usual engagement, reward & distraction techniques seemed to work for me, so my advise would be. Use on line delivery. Have an acceptance that this is the way things are at the moment. Don't give yourself any more stress than you have to have and accept any help offered. Look after yourself it is so important.

[hertsred]

Have you read Strategies not Solutions? It's an excellent resource. It's about how you can change your parenting around the needs of your child with FAS. For example, a supermarket is an environment that can be massively overstimulating for a child with FAS, they simply can't cope with all the input, so they have a meltdown. The only way to avoid this is to not take your child into a supermarket. When they're older this will change most likely, it did for us. Anyway have a read, everyone we know has found this extremely useful. faslink.org/strategies_not_...

[dianakitten15]

Hi there,

Children with FAS behave like this when they are overwhelmed on a sensory level. A supermarket is a prime example of an environment with too many stimuli and sounds, this is why you will often notice a behaviour change when shopping. The only way to minimise the likelihood of this behaviour, is to reduce the pressure so that your child's sensory system does not become overloaded and these reactive outbursts occur. So there is a lot of pre planning to do with FAS children to ensure they do not become overwhelmed, think your day through and wherever possible avoid overstimulating environments, as suggested. Where you cannot do this, aim to make trips as short as possible and follow up with a calm, soothing activity. It is difficult for FAS children to change their behaviour, so you need to change the environment around them to one which is soothing and calm.

I hope this helps.

[Sunshinerain]

We have a daughter with FASD, and a son with attachment difficulties. We've been on an attachment course called Safebase which was fantastic, and I couldn't recommend it highly enough. Though this isn't based around FASD it really has helped both our children, and you may find that some of the issues are around attachment also. It's very difficult to separate some of their complex issues, and having as much understanding of all the different issues can only go towards helping.

Hope this is of some help.

[Hidden]

I am so sad to hear of your struggles- we adopted our son at 2 years old but did not get a diagnosis of FASD until a few months ago - he is 15 now!!! When he was little he would scream hysterically at the door of a shop - any shop - so I gave up taking him. Start by taking him to places that are quiet and with few people and praise him when his behaviour is good then work your way slowly towards busier places. My son always loved music so that always calmed or distracted him. What sets him off with the kicking and hitting?? Mine was never aggressive but he did have breath holding spells when he didn't get his own way. Would you share some more information and maybe someone will have a more practical solution. Recommended book is Foetal Alcohol spectrum disorders Parenting a child with an invisible disability - has a chapter on tantrums and meltdowns. Sorry I am not much help.

[SUPPORT_FASD]

The book mentioned above can be found on Amazon and was written by British medic Dr Mary Mather, and British Mum Julia Brown - and published a couple of years ago so is very up-to-date and relevant to modern life - amazon.co.uk/Foetal-Alcohol...

You might also want to explore joining your local support group - fasdtrust.co.uk/cp8.php

And please call our office on 01608 811599 and someone will call you with some specific tips