4 year old stool witholding

[Cookify43]

Hi. My 4 year old has been using a potty/toilet since summer 2018. He has always been a bit funny about toilets, he likes to go on his own, won't use them if they smell, look dirty to him or if he just doesn't like them.

Apart from a handful of times he simply won't poo on a toilet. He holds it in until he has his bedtime nappy on and waits until he is on his own to do it. We have tried bribery, getting him to sit on the toilet and distract him, leaving him on his own in the loo to give him privacy...but nothing works...someone suggested taking his nappy away at bedtime but I feel that will mean he holds it in for even longer.

Any ideas to help him overcome his toilet phobia?

Thanks!

[Tursty]

Hi Cookify43, I can give you some ideas that were given to me. They haven't really worked for me but we have other issues too and they might be good for you!?! Personally I would let him use a nappy if that means he happily does a "normal' daily poo. A child witholding is such a nightmare as I guesd you've experienced.

Our HV suggested having a toilet bag, each time having something different or new (to him) to play with that he can have if he sits on the toilet. She also suggested putting something in the water, blue colouring - blue for a poo or glitter or something fun to make it look fun!

My son will sit on the toilet but he won't poo there, he plays with the stuff then gets off and poos in a nappy, but at least he poos 😞